So I'm applying for a phd and I have my personal statement

File: personal stat.png (300KB, 621x551px) Image search: [Google]

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This is my personal statement

Put a line between your paragraphs so I'm not reading a wall of blather

>>17897138
From reading it that very last sentence will be removed. Made sense when I [spoiler][/spoiler]was writing it.

File: intents.png (290KB, 641x608px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17897152

>>17897164
>>17897160

Also these two share some parts but no school is asking for both so I believe its ok.

I'll bump a few times.

OP hate to say it but your personal statement is really bad. It is obvious to me you haven't gotten anyone's feedback yet and grad school applications are due soon. You don't say anything of substance, just "math is fun and hard and I like it." You need to elaborate on the topics you enjoy, why you enjoy them and what you hope to contribute in a concrete way. For example, I'm a 2d condensed matter physicist, and I might say something like "I am especially interested in exploring the interfacial interactions between 2d materials because..." A significant portion of the rest of my essay would be dedicated to my previous research experiences to emphasize my interest.

You don't leave any space to talk about professors you're interested in at the different universities, which is a HUGE red flag. You need to convince the grad school that you are a good fit for them, and major way to do that is to express interest in the people there.

>>17897138
why ask here? >>>/sci/

>>17897751
I don't have much research history and should I just focus more on the subjects I liked and might want to pursue.

>>17897832
Yes. It's not uncommon for mathematicians not to have much research experience, especially at your stage. Do focus on the subjects you enjoy and what you want to pursue. Elaborate on these points, don't just say "because it's interesting/challenging/whatever." Mention what you hope to contribute and how you are prepared to do it. If you are making a claim or statement be prepared to back it up with evidence.

>>17897870
You only mentioned my personal statement, how bads the letter of intent?

>>17897890
In my understanding of graduate applications there really isn't enough of a difference to make them two separate applications/essays. I don't feel like reading it carefully, but after skimming it it looks like it largely suffers from the same issues. Also, when talking about your teaching experience, don't say things like "well it was online so..." You are trying to make yourself sound amazing, not sell yourself short.

>>17897929
Did I make it sound like the class was online? It was in person classes, just the homework was due online so I didn't have to grade it

>>17897931
Well I erased that sentence anyway, it was out of place and kind of awkward.

>>17897751
Well I re-wrote the second paragraph entirely focusing purely on the two subjects I like and included some stuff like that into the first but left the third untouched.

Got to thank you alot for this help after just this post it showed me how bad it was. You were right however the due dates are soon and I've got to start submitting. Thanks again.