What is the best way to handle a significant other who is being

Say it to her face and let your kids play for gods sake. A great man once said: raising kids is easy, you give them pizza, tell a joke and LET THEM LIVE THEIR LIVES, they're grown ups for gods sake

Otherwise you're gonna raise a vuzz who depends on everyone and cant get anything done in life, let your kid have his own experiences not babysit them around all the time, thats the worst mistake a parent can do

>>17896267
>kids
>they're grown ups

What?

>>17896267
>>17896279
Your advise is to completely ignore the wife and actively defy her in front of the kid?

This is a much more difficult issue than you're making it out to be.

>>17896256
i suggest you 2 head for couples counseling asap stat

raising kids can cause lots of arguments and you don't seem to be handling this very well yourself

>>17896301

thats the joke.

>>17896306

no, its not defying to disagree. defying implies that the wife gets the final word and that you're being disobedient.

two parents, two different ideas, disagreeing.

hes not sdaying ignore, hes saying to literally tell her 'no'.

that being said, talk it out. but if she doesn't you can always put your foot down and let the kid go to the park.

talk with her, that you see it as problematic even though you accept her doing things differently.

I think otherwise both partners have to stick to their own methods for education and accept the others without wanting to change it.

maybe show her some authority in regards to education talking about something similar. helicopter parenting seems quite common lately and show her what the consequences are. Do your research

>>17896343
Actively going against the other parent's wishes and encouraging the child to do the same is the worst possible choice in this situation. The child will grow up to be a brat who never listens.

>>17896384

first and foremost, i said talk it out first.

that being said just because the wife may be unwavering does not make her right.

you say it will raise a brat, but if you teach a child to look at the logic of a situation and think for herself, you'll be raising an adult.

OP should talk to her in private and try to logic through this disagreement. but if not he should not stop a kid from playing at the fucking park for fear that it will make her a rebellious brat.

thats going to happen anyways.

>>17896392
Obviously she is in the wrong and they should talk it out, but the real problem here is how do you reason with someone who's being unreasonable?

It's not letting the kid play in the park that's raising a brat, it's teaching them that it's ok and encouraged to subvert the other parent's rules. I've seen many examples of parents doing this while rationalizing what's the harm. If it's a pattern that continues, the kids tend to become assholes.

>>17896454

how would you know? i mean how many children did you watch from childhood to adulthood and were able to pinpoint to the moment one parent laet them do something the other wouldn't let them?

again, you're making a lot of assumptions that are impossible to measure in the life of a human. people are more complex than that.

no matter which way you swing it if the mother is unwavering then shes going to learn SOMETHING negative.

if the mother won't let lose then the father can sit down the daughter explain that the mother is too strict because of a childhood accident, and that sometimes you have to be logical and figure out whats best.

or you can teach your kid to do what they're told even if its wrong.

OR, you could realize that the little kid probably isnt going to be taking too much from this small moment in history and it wont lead to the extremes of 'total asshole' or 'total pushover'.

just a thought.

>>17896482
So your plan is to let the kid play in the park once then never again? Otherwise it's a constant stream of encouragement and reward for going against the mothers feelings every time they go to the park assuming she's still against it. Plus this leads to payterns of similar situations. It's naive to think it's just a one time thing that won't teach the child anything.

I encounter many children and their parents in my line of work, I've seen it a lot, but obviously that's just circumstantial.

I honestly don't know what the best course of action is here, it's a tricky situation, but I'm positive that disregarding the mother's feelings about X and just doing it anyway is far and away the worst option for both the parenting and relationship sides of the situation.

>>17896547

>just a one time thing

no, its ongoing. the question becomes how the mother reacts of course. will she shut her mouth and just let it happen, or will she complain each time, or will she throw a fit and hold on to the child? idk, im not OP. all i can do is suggest.

if you want to just tell the little girl shes not allowed toe ver play at a park, then go for it, teach her not to play at recess and just watch the other kids have fun, because obeying will stop her from becoming a trash person.

>its atricky situation

yes

>yet im somehow sure of this

idk man, ive raised three kids and though my wife and I didnt have any disagreements on this particular level its hard to say that the child will become some horrible bratty asshole for playing at the park.

id much rather tell one of my sons that he CAN do something so he goes forward knowing that one of his parents does approve rather than say 'SORRY MOM SAYS YOU CANT DO IT' and then know hes just going to disobey when hes at school.

cuz he is. its ap ark. its a fucking swing. kids are going to play on the jungle jims.

its okay to disagree but i doubt this is going to create an asshole of a child, its a really cohesive situation. some children are more bratty than others. i cant for the life of me figure out why my older child is so disobedient while my second son who is just one year younger and had virutally the same childhood rarely ever steps out of line (unless it involves junk food).

>>17896547

and no its not a constant stream of encouragement and reward for going against mothers wishes.

its teaching a kid that its okay to disagree with someone and still do what you do, that authority figures aren't perfect and right, and in the case of mom vs the swing, even a kid can see its retard logic.

>>17896569
>>17896570
We obviously disagree at the core concept of this.

The original question still remains, what is the best way to reason with someone who is being unreasobable? Your suggestion is do it regardless of their feelings, i'm curious about other suggestions.

>>17896582

no, my suggestion was to talk it out. doing it regardless is a last resort.

others have suggested counseling.

but you have to remember that the definition of unreasonable is that you can't reason with her. so other then 'obey' or 'disobey' there isn't any real option

>>17896256
Ask her if she turned out fine after falling off the swing? She's married and has kids who are healthy enough to go outside and play right?