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Hello /adv/, teendrama reporting in here.
In my story theres 4 relevant characters, my friend R [17M] and my friend G [16F], my best friend Z [19M] and my ex [17F]. I am a 18 year old male.
R and me are very good friends with Z, we both hang out with Z alot. However, not often us 3 together at the same time because I have been having problems with R in the past. I've known R for over 7 years and he has been my best friend for the first few. However certain actions and behaviour on his side made me realise its not worth it for me to put 100% of my trust in him since I can't see him as fully reliable, and that is a standard that I require to define someone as a good friend.
My friend Z and G aswell as me and my ex had been in a relationship for about 2 years, up until about last month when both relationships were broke up. As soon as my relationship had ended, R and my ex started hanging out noticably more which I kinda had a problem with. I asked R whether I could trust him in having a solaly friendly connection with my ex. He promised me that I could trust him and that he would keep his distance from her.
Fast forward to last weekend. We were all out drinking and ended up being together in a club with the four of us. My ex in a drunken state told me something she later regretted: She had seen R and G making out. This personally angered me alot, as I find it really disrespectful of R towards my best friend Z. Obviously stuff like that happens and even though I was clear to G and R what my square opinion was about their actions I told them it'll be ok if they adress this towards Z ASAP. However, they have since told me that they have decided to keep it a secret and that it isnt necessary to create trouble over something that can be kept a dying secret anyway.
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>>17892785
Due to me personally betraying the trust of others in the past and regretting it wholeheartedly and Z being my best friend, I can absolubtly not live with it. I snapped at them that they have to man up for their actions and tell Z the truth, and if they didnt, then I would tell Z. I wonder how R is planning to be good friends with someone when he has this kind of secret in the back of his head? How do you go and hang out and show love for a friend when you know that you have betrayed them? From past experiences of me cheating on my ex I know showing love to someone you have silently betrayed DOES NOT WORK. As soon as my ex heard about the ultimatum I set them she went nagging at me to stay out of other people their lives and that I should respect their choice of keeping it a secret.
This situation is really fucking with my head. I share so many awesome experiences with Z and we talk about our feelings about life alot. I can't fucking hang out with Z in a normal way knowing that I know something that would fuck him over. Also how can I even trust R keeping his hands of my ex when it has shown that his personality prefers going for the easy way and avoiding all moral responsibility towards his friends?
Since that my ex has told me that G has been pretty depressed due to me threatening to tell Z if they didn't, I have apoligised to G and I have retracted my ultimatum about telling Z if they slacked on it. Both G and Z have a very passive unconfrontational personality. From my ex I have heard that both have admitted cutting all contact with me if I would ever confess to Z. What do I do or how do I cope?
TL;DR: Female friend and guy friend of mine keeping their makeout session a secret towards their mutual friend, her ex. Currently me coping with the consequences of my contact with them, my ex, and my betrayed bestfriend.
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>>17892794
you kind of owe it to your bestie to inform him of that b.s.
just do it anonymously create fake email type in all caps act different etc
otherwise i only read the TLDR the rest is too much
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>>17892785
>>17892794
You sound like a self-righteous hypocrite, even though you're probably not. You act like your friends owe you or anyone to keep their hands off from ex relationships. That's hilarious, really. Addressing a move onto a friend's ex is only a sign of affection. There's no obligation.
What gave you the impression that you had any say in R's and your ex's business? If I were your friend, that alone is reason enough to tell you off in front of all of your other friends. Then, the thing with R and G. You hear something from someone else, your ex, and act like it's a fact and YOUR call to do anything about it? Are you for real?
Perhaps you're just a bit confused about a thing. R is not your friend anymore. R doesn't want to be your friend again.
R wants to hang out with your ex. R wants to get it on with G. You might be hanging out, but his interests clearly are elsewhere.
Z is your friend. Having that said, you have to treat Z like an adult human being and have him take care of his own business. If he was ever bothered by what G does and reaches out to you, it's your job to tell him to stop caring about what G does, just like you have to stop caring about who your ex hanges out with. Ex means ex.
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>>17892879
I'm the only one who knows, it hppened that certain night. This is not an option.
>>17892917
How is that being a hypocrite? Yeah I feel like my friends should stay away from romantical connections to my ex out of respect for me, atleast for now since we only recently broke up. Is this such a weird and insecure thing to expect?
How should I have Z take care of his 'own' business when he doesnt know anything about what happenend, and won't ever if I wont tell him, cause his friend and ex pussy out on their mistakes?
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>>17892917
Also why are you on one side telling me that I am a controlling bitch for asking my friend to be loyal to me, although on the other side you're telling me that his actions show that he doesn't want to be my friend anymore? Where's the catch?
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