I suffered a bunch of physical/mental childhood abuse that caught

break up with your boyfriend so he can get some while you deal with being fucked in the head

>>17889066
He won't leave. Also I'm not "fucked up in the head"

>>17889067
>I tried going to the gym, but I end up having a breakdown. I am mentally all over the place, if there is anything I HAVE to do here at home I'll have a breakdown over that too

yeah you're fine, my bad

>>17889079
I have a lot of problems but I don't think "fucked in the head" is the way to think or be about it

>>17889080
yeah, people that are fucked in the head usual don't recognize themselves as fucked in the head because they're fucked in the head

>>17889080
Honestly op, as harsh as it isn't you are a bit fucked in the head right now. It doesn't mean you will be forever.
You need to seriously get over the fact that you feel disgusting, it doesn't bother your boyfriend, and it won't unless you constantly drive the screw into his head that you're ugly now. You've done a very stupid thing by acting this way.
Go to therapy asap, start eating healthy, and just go on walks with your bf, do fun active activities that are not too draining with them, and read self help books weekly.

This relationship may be salvageable if you stop acting fucking insane, but don't get me wrong, you went through trauma and genuinely don't know better. So get help, stop acting like you are your boyfriend's feelings as well as your own, and getting healthy.

>>17889114
How do I know he is telling the truth about not caring about my body though? Online I see everywhere men commenting on women's bodies, saying they are too fat, etc. Why would he be any different to that, deep down?

How do I stop feeling disgusting? I'm covered in stretch marks, I have a gut now, I have rolls everywhere. I have been living in HIS clothes for the past year because mine no longer fit, everything about me is seriously repulsive

>>17889157
most normal people would try to change that by working out but you said you can't do that because you're crazy

>>17889165
So what am I meant to do?!?

>>17889217
suffer
kill yourself
w/e just glad I'm not that fucked

merry christmas

>>17889217
Calm down. Realize that he is someone who will stick with you through your problems and work with you to solve them. Take small steps towards where you want to be and eventually you will get there. Clearly your boyfriend loves YOU and is willing to put up with whatever your crazy mind cooks up if he can have that. Hold on to that as motivation to change.

You don't need to change your life overnight. Just change a little bit every day. Push yourself just a little bit beyond your limit and you will get where you want to be much more quickly than you imagined possible.

But seriously, just calm down.