Hello /adv/, I was kinda hoping 2016 would be my last year.

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If you need us to "push you over the edge" then I'm sure you don't truly want to kill yourself. Stick around for a while, things might get better. There have been times when I have felt miserable but in the blink of an eye something happens, you meet someone special, etc and your life does a U-turn. Happened to me, might happen to you as well. Only one way to find out.

>>17888469
I know for a fact things will only get worse. I'm fucking up school and I'm just overall a stupid person. The chances I meet 'someone special' is completely zero. I wouldn't let it happen.

>>17888476
Unless you're a clairvoyant you can't "know for a fact" jack shit. I can't begin to pretend I understand how you feel, but I truly believe that there is always some hope, even for people like you. /adv/ is a helpful board, keep lurking and focus on becoming a better person. You can do it anon, you're still young. People change drastically over time, you will only remain the way you are if you want it.mIn 30 years maybe you'll look back and think "thanks god I listened to that anon 30 years ago"

>>17888512
I know for a fact that my condition is only getting worse. In elementary school I was just a weird kid, but as an adult things really change. Right now I'm really inferior to about everybody else and I just don't belong here.

I can't change what was given to me at birth and I don't want to die of old age and suffer through even more disappointments.

>>17888522
You weren't dealt good cards and you're bad at the game. It's normal to feel pain and disappointment. But there are ways to make that pain and hopelessness end. Suicide is one, alright. But you have another choice. Embark on a journey of self betterment and cut off the evil by the root. Is it easy? No. But the hardest things are often the ones that are worth the most. Suicidal impulses seem attractive, but that's all they are - impulses. They don't last forever. Stay strong. Don't give up on the game when you didn't even bother to read the rules - who knows, you might have fun once you learn the ropes.

>>17888561
I will never learn the ropes though. I'm so far behind on normal people it's not even funny. Especially on a social level. There's no coming back from this, and I just have to accept that things will just turn worse as I grow older and I look at other people my age. In 10 years all the friends I have now will have settled down and I will be a failure that's all alone. I really don't want to stick around for that.

I KNOW for a fact things will become 10 times worse than they are now. I just want to jump ship before any of that shit happens. Is that so weird? You guys don't seem to understand how low I am as a person in every single way.

>>17888580
Maybe you're right. I guess it was hypocritical of me to have tried to help you without understanding your mindset, but please give some thought to what I wrote. Hopefully someone else will be able to help you.

Stay strong anon. It may not influence anything but I really believe you can be happy if you try. If you do end up killing yourself I wish you a quick and painless death

Try your best to stay around your friends and tell them what you feel. A psychologist could also help you(not psych-fuck em), as the other Anon said, you should stick around and maybe you'll find someone in the same situation as you, that can understand anf help you. Life's worth living to the last moment, dont try to shorten it. I felt just like you did a lot of times, but that special someone appeared, and life took a turn. You just wait Anon

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>>17888618
Thanks for the kind words.

>>17888686
I've talked with 2 friends about this but they don't seem to understand my way of thinking. The same way I don't really understand theirs.

>but that special someone appeared, and life took a turn

That could never happen to me. I'm kinda afraid of strangers, and especially with girls I'll try to push them away if they ever were to talk to me. I'm human repellent.

If you're afraid, get shit-faced in a bar and try talking then,.maybe you'll get some more courage to talk to someone.

I was afraid of strangers too, but no matter how anxious you are, you'll get a vibe from that person, a positive one that will motivate your will to communicate and develop a relationship(or it's just your brain trying to keep you from commitig sucicide).
After all, if you will kill yourself, least you can do is give it a try, eh, itțs not like youțre going to lose anything, since you may be fucking dead ? Go try and talk to someone, it'll be good, trust me.

>>17888458
Have you tried not drugs and legit meds for your depression ? maybe not a realistic possibility sadly for everyone everywhere but while drugs can be a pleasure it's generaly bad for people with mental problems.
Don't think much about virginity and social ankwardness, honestly your highest priority is to not drop-out and have a good plan if you do.

>>17888458
Just sending you a big hug.

One of my old friends was in a similar situation, what ended up helping him is that he seriously got into art. He felt totally helpless, moved countries, and then got into this underground performance scene, and seems like he found his calling.

We barely keep in touch partly cause of the distance, party cause I think I remind him of his sad old life, but he just looks like a different, balanced person now.

I don't know what you like doing (except drugs), but just devote yourself to it.

And again, sending virtual hugs.

Hey anon...listen..if I am on the right track...pls let me know.
When u eat nothing tastes the same, or as good, even if it's what u thought u wanted?
U miss having human interaction due to it's unimportance when u do?
Showering, dressing, anything otherwise associated with personal grooming is an ABSOLUTE chore?
Everyone else as direction, desire, and maybe opportunities for a bright future. U feel completely lost as to any idea of a possible future?
Am I on the right track?

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>>17889612
It's often too loud in places like that for me to talk well. I naturally speak like a retard and those places don't help. My voice is kinda unclear and I have trouble hearing people in those crowded places.

>>17889678
What kind of strangers? Wherever I go people seem to be on their way to somewhere else. Either that or they have a miserable look on their face, not wanting any contact.

>>17889688
Legit meds aren't an option. I can't talk with a stranger about these problems in the hope to get meds.

>>17889697
I like art, but I can't do it myself. Whenever I see a drawing I made it just feels like a disappointment and I just can't do it.

>>17889720
You are on the right track, Anon

You gotta get out thd confort zone amigo, that's thr only thing I can tell you. If you consider suicide, you might aswell push yourself over the limit, and if that fails, you can die easily knowing you did everything you could do..

>>17889963
My comfort zone never expands though, no matter how hard I try. I've tried in the past.