How do you tell your partner of +1 year you don't love them

>didn't even make a year
>swears it was love

Yeah, sure buddy.

>>17887243
Are you sure you don't love them anymore? Are you even sure you know what love is?

>>17887247

fair questions, but people tend to say it the way op did if they already got their eye out

>>17887246
>>17887247
Well, there is great attachment in any case.

I don't claim I know what love is, heck I'm not even sure I was in love. But he's convinced he loves me, so telling him I never loved him in the first place isn't a better option. I'm trying to go with 'not loving anymore' just for the sake of it.

I wish to cause as few bad feels as possible...

>>17887258
Well OP, I'll tell you a bit about me.
I've never went out with a girl, only had crushes (yeah, butterflies in the stomach when I look at them in the eye, the whole deal) on girls who doesn't even know who I am.
Then I met a girl, got into a relationship with her. During the whole relationship, I've never felt the burning desire, it was more like "I enjoy talking to her, she's cool" just like you.
7 months later, I just tell her "you know what, I don't love. I've never loved you" just like that, for no particular reason. I crushed her just like that, knowing that our 7 past months were just a big lie.
Until I realized that I loved her, and infatuation comes and goes, so I eventually got back with her (it took me time tho) and in a month, it will be 3 years since I first asked her out.

So tl;dr :
>just like you, went out with a girl for 7 months
>think that I don't live anymore
>break up
>regret
>win her back
>3 years now

Sorry for the messy post lol
So OP, I think you should think it through, don't be like me. Do you enjoy your time with him? Do you like him close to you? Is he a good friend? When you need help, is he the first one you think about? Then why would you break up?

>>17887285

That moment when you realize you haven't had feelings for anyone in 11 years...

FeelsBatman

>>17887258
That doesn't sound like an easier let down. If anything, saying "I grew to feel real emotion for you and you ruined it" is a lot worse than, "this isn't going to become real love".

>>17887285
How'd you go about coming out of no contact and starting the convo again? Just a call to meet up and chat asking for a second/third go?

Dumped girl in similar time span because I felt like I couldn't trust her from stupid things that occurred before us dating. Literally her friend running her mouth about things that weren't necessarily true but still makes you paranoid. "Oh we go on vacay and can meet guys for a week and never see them again" like who the fuck wants to hear that hoe talk when you want to take it long term. She was pleading it wasn't true and just bullshit but I wasn't going to entertain that thought have any longer.

Now I kind of miss her and thought of going for it again

>>17887285
Your post spooked me a bit with the figuring out you actually loved her.

I can answer yes to most of those questions and it only makes me think about friendship. Like he's not someone I want to spend my whole life with intimately or get married to. He's very romantic and warm, whereas I'm cold and appear indifferent - so this makes me even more confused as to whether I'd even be capable of loving someone, him or anyone else for that matter.

How did you realize that you loved her?

>>17887258
Tell him you dont feel for him anything. It wasn't love but rather attraction/infatuation.

Love is true and rarely seen these days because people these days are only interested in sex/casual relationship.

>>17887319
For me, it was easy, since we were already friends, the no-contact period wasn't so long. So yeah, you try to talk, if she does want to talk to you, she'll answer you and take it from there.

>>17887343
But I have to add, can you really put up with her bullshit? Because if she accepts to give it another shot, you'd better not change your mind after a week, like "so that's why I broke up with her!"

>>17887349
Honestly, if that friend somehow left the picture by say actually getting in a relationship or just moving the fuck away, we'd have been much better off.

I was learning to tolerate her mannerisms and woman bullshit for the whole growing/building together in a relationship deal. At times I didn't feel adequate enough since she's already got a well paying professional career while I'm still trying to catch up with what I really wanted to do instead of getting stuck in labor jobs.

She said I was the best boyfriend she's ever had and I'm sure it hurt her when I ended it to pretty much work on me. It just felt weird as we left in the mornings, she's off to earn that big paycheck while I busted ass in the warehouse making 15/hr

>>17887325
Well I realized that love isn't what I thought it is.
For example, she used to have recurrent nightmares almost every night, when I realized that comforting her at 3 am didn't bother me but even made me happy that I could do something for her, and that I could do it almost every night, well, if that isn't love then what it is?
Love and friendship in my opinion are really close, because I wouldn't like to be with someone I wouldn't be friend with if it wasn't for the sex or the intimacy.
Like I can be comfortable enough to just be with her without talking for hours.
Now that I think about it, its not just one thing, but like a lot of little things that makes me think :"yeah, I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with her".

But tell me OP, why do you think he is "not someone I want to spend my whole life with intimately"?

put thier shit outside and change lock

>>17887325
I read your post again and I have a suggestion. You can leave him, and try to learn it all by yourself. Leave him, and try to figure it out.

>>17887243
wait until new years and then tell her seriously - we need to talk

and tell her you don't have feels for her anymore

she may cry she may say - wow me too see ya !

>>17887545
Why new years eve, this time of year is bad as it is for break ups. Well February included

>>17887688
i guess i should have typed - wait until AFTER new years, just to get past the holidays, then it is like your - new years resolution

i didnt type "eve"

sorry & good luck