How do you know if someone is a good sex partner or not? I'd

>>17881413
Be very attracted to them, be sure they are very attracted to you. This alone will most likely be enough. If you and the other person are both crazy about each other and have lots of chemistry, sex will most likely be good.
Go for people who are in decent shape.
If you are a girl and you like guys, better avoid young people (go for 25+).

During making out/foreplay value if they are good at that - a good kisser, someone who focuses on your pleasure, who takes their time to get you off even before fucking is most likely a good lay.

>>17881460
How do I know if there's chemistry?

>How do you know if someone is a good sex partner or not?
When you can and want to go a few times in one night.

>>17881487
Is there no other way?

I don't want to be left alone in the same room with someone who's bad, not to even mention taking my clothes off.

>>17881484
The first time I was talking to my boyfriend at some point I was literally thinking "It's a shame that we are in public or I would totally suck his dick".
Complete, unstoppable desire to have them. And, well, feeling that same desire on the other hand.

You definitely know when you experience it.

>>17881495
Oh.

Where am I supposed to look for it?

>>17881501
Anywhere.
I met my boyfriend while volunteering, I had a strong chemistry with a guy I went to school with, or a guy I met while travelling.
It just happens when you meet someone and you're instinctively attracted to them.

>>17881493
Umm not really... At least not a simple way that would really be conclusive. You could ask them a 1,000 questions to factor in compatibility but it still wouldn't be conclusive. That's like wanting to know if someone can hit a baseball well but not actually letting them a hit ball.

You shouldn't be afraid of sex. Look if you're worried about being bad with someone you really want to be good with you shouldn't think like that. If they're worth your time they won't drop you just because you were bad at sex one time. They'll be understanding and keep trying to see how things go between you. That's the kind of person who is a good partner and a good sex partner. You don't want someone who gives up on you because of one mediocre performance. We're not all great every time...

>>17881507
I guess I should start looking for places to volunteer once I get my car back.

>>17881508
Then how do I find someone like THAT?

>>17881513
>Then how do I find someone like THAT?
Talking to different people, going on dates with different, and ultimately having sex with different people.

>>17881519
So volunteering it is I guess.

I don't like going in public and the only people I've ever met while donating blood have been middle-aged women but I guess I have to.

>>17881507
seconding this, you will know when you have intense chemistry with someone. Being around them is like shooting adrenaline into your dick. You'll be able to know just by looking in their eyes.

>>17881670
I'm not a guy.

I'm 22 and never had this with anyone. Is that normal?

How do I meet lots and lots of pople without having to go outside and meet lots and lots of people?

>>17881677
Yeah I've met a lot of people and only one person gave me a intense rush of bodily feelings, and that was with our clothes on.

>>17881701
So I just go to a bar and wait for prince charming to magically show up and sweep me off my feet?

>>17881718
WHY would a prince look for a princess in a bar? A bar is like yester-years Tinder.

>>17881677
i have met hundreds of girls and really only one of them gave me such intense feelings. As to your question no offense but are you daft? You wish to meet lots of people without going outside your house? I'm sorry but to experience life you must participate.

>>17881735
Men don't go into places I go and I don't want to go to places where men go.

I don't want to go outside at all but the alcohol makes it easier.

>>17881738
I hate being in public and I hate being looked at and seen and I hate it when people don't listen to me but whenever they do I say something stupid.

How do I maximise the amount of people I meet without having to be social?

>>17881741
As the old saying goes is that good things come to those that wait. Just keep bein you

>>17881759
But I have to meet people to meet people. I only see the people at work and none of them do that to me and then come home and not see anyone until I go back to work.

>>17881747
are you really ugly or something? It sounds like you're dealing with a classic case of social anxiety, the best cure is to put yourself in a position that will slowly push your boundaries. I'm sorry but your question is an oddity, you wish to meet people without having to be social, its an anomaly, it cannot be. To interact with another human is to be social.

>>17881413

only sleep wtih men that other women vouch for

>>17881774
I know it can't be. I know that's how everything in life is, you have to do the bad thing in hopes that something good gets out of it and then people call you stupid for expecting something good to happen but you just have no choice, you have to do it again.

I don't want to get fucked by someone who hurts me.

I got married to an asian girl because I was never really popular enough with white girls to date a decent attractive one but she just lies there in bed each time we do it

I think we've only had sex about once in the year since getting married... it just feels better to masturbate

>>17881768
Work somewhere else then.

>>17881815
I'm too stupid to work anywhere else, and I wouldn't find more men in any other job.

80-90% of my co-workers are men.

If they are good at kissing and flirting that's great. Kissing shows their sense of rhythm (and not overdoing it/being passive etc) and whether they know how to feel touch feel as good as possible, flirting can give an idea of whether he knows how to make you feel good psychologically during sex. Though it's no security as some guys are very smooth when picking a girl up then turn into a douchebag when they have her in the bag.

Don't be afraid to walk out if he doesn't want to go down on you or do foreplay. (Or if she's obviously just going to starfish.)

>>17881836
What if I don't like kissing?

Mouths disgust me, they're almost as filthy as anuses. If I was forced to put my tongue into either, I'd still choose the mouth but I won't be much less disgusting.

>>17881867
Then don't expect strangers to want sex with you.

>>17881869
But they do want it. I just don't want it back.

>>17881874
Then don't do it? Not that hard. You're always taking a risk. And honestly a ONS is awkward enough without the other person being disgusted by the idea of kissing you, but I guess men are thirsty as shit.

It sounds like you're better off getting to know someone first. Especially if you're a girl, guys at least get their orgasm even if the girl is shit in bed. The other way around, not so much.

>>17881880
I WOULD get to know someone first if there was someone.

There's one guy at work but he doesn't give me the jolt that the other people in this thread have been talking about. And he said he doesn't understand the concept of being "good" or "bad" in bed, you just insert penis and wiggle.

I just want to be loved without feeling like it's torture.

>>17881889
Well luckily he had the decency to warn you in advance that it's going to suck if you sleep with him. Don't sleep with him.

You have to take matters into your own hand. Do you want to date or have a fuckbuddy? Get tinder or a dating profile, ask your friends to set you up or do speed dating. Join a hiking club or reading circle or cooking course.

>>17881867
My last relationship I hated kissing and we still had sex and things. I know a couple of people who hate kissing.
Though I'll say that while I always hated kissing, when I met my current boyfriend, I actually wanted to kiss him. Now I kiss him obnoxiously often. I'm the girl who grabs her boyfriend when other people leave the room.

When you have sex with someone who you are attracted to, who you have chemistry with, and who you love, it will be good.
When you're both excited to have sex together, you're just tingling at the slightest brush of their hand. That is the power of pheromones and hormones designed to get us to procreate.

>>17881908
I want a relationship. I want a husband.

I have very irregular work schedule, I live at the corner of a small town and my friends don't know any men.

How do I find speed dating? Do they advertise it somewhere?

>>17881914
I just don't like orifices, they're filthy. I wouldn't want someone else's shit put inside my anus and I wouldn't want someone else's saliva in my mouth. It's just the most disgusting and unsanitary thing I can think of.

>>17881928
>I just don't like orifices, they're filthy. I wouldn't want someone else's shit put inside my anus and I wouldn't want someone else's saliva in my mouth. It's just the most disgusting and unsanitary thing I can think of.
Okay that's fine, I won't press the issue.
I might suggest putting "germophobe" on your dating profiles. It's kinda cute and quirky and it'll prepare people for what kind of person you are. Y'know, like the point of profiles.

>>17881928
>small town
Okay yeah that complicated things. Do you have hobbies you could make social events out of like what I suggested? If you like dancing that's a great option, doing romantic stuff in pairs forges a quick bond.

Yes, it's typically advertised by the pub or whatever other place where it's going to take place. I would in general keep an eye on local stuff like free music events as these are also good places to meet new locals.

>>17881940
But I'm not a germ phobe. I grew up in a hoarder house and I have no problem cleaning dog poop from the floor.

Are you allowed to lie on the profiles?

>>17881944
Not really, none of my hobbies are social.

I'll have to drive to the town to scout them when I get my car back. It's a waste of gas but I'll do it.

What an awful thread

>>17881959
It's not about whether the label literally describes you perfectly but about giving a fair warning. Besides, if you find kissing gross what about oral sex? If you're only going to be down for piv that's a pretty big demand for a lot of folks.

There's social "backlash" in the sense that someone will be not amused to realize that you both painted a prettier picture of yourself than is true and are not that honest.

>>17881959
>Are you allowed to lie on the profiles?
yes lol

>>17881982
Kissing is gross, oral sex is gross, piv is gross too but less disgusting for me as *I* will not need to be the one dealing with someone else's orifices. But anal is still entirely unacceptable.

>>17881413
>I'd rather not sleep with anyone at all than have a bad experience

Why?

>>17882019
Why what? Why would you ever want to risk that?

>>17882024
Because it will stop being irrelevant a day after?

>>17882024
"Bad sex" isn't a life-ruiner, it's usually just boring and kind of awkward

>>17882062
I have no problem with filth outside of my body. You can get a shower and get rid of it. There is no way to get rid of filth inside of your body.

>>17882063
That feeling never lingers with you? The feeling of disgust and filth for weeks and months after? Wondering why other people can't SMELL how disgusting you feel because clearly you ought to reek of it?

>>17882067
No, but I've never really done the "random hookup" thing, I've only slept with people I know, like, and respect to some degree. so even on the occasions that it wasn't great, it didn't leave me feeling filthy or disgusted.

I'll also add that everyone has "bad sex" sometimes. My boyfriend is usually great in bed, but everyone has off days, and he was pretty stiff and awkward the first several times we slept together. Sometimes it takes a little while to warm up and get comfortable with each other

>>17882077
I'm afraid I'm not as indifferent to bad experiences as you are. I fucking hate feeling used and violated.

>>17882085
I think maybe we've had different kinds of "bad experiences," I've never been abused or anything like that

>>17882089
I've never been raped or anything, either. I've just never really had sex and thought back to it like "wow, I'm glad that that happened."

Like if I could choose to not go into that situation, I wouldn't.

>>17882067
I think you've got other problems to deal with first, OP. You've got a very skewed sense of the "uncleanliness" of sex. Yeah it's messy and not the cleanest activity out there, but this sort of reaction to it is exaggerated. Most people do not feel this way.

I think you need to see a therapist and unpack your thoughts on sex, because it's obviously affecting your sex life. Do you feel like this with other activities, too?

>>17882126
It may also be that you are asexual. You definitely seem sex-repulsed. While that's not universal amongst asexual people, it's relatively common.

Do you ever actually want to have sex with people? Or is it something you tolerate because you feel you should?

>>17882120
When you say you felt "used and violated," it makes it sound like the guy(s) you were with did something wrong. My worst sexual experiences were awkward, dull, or disappointing, but I never felt violated

>>17882126
No, everything else is fine.

My shrink doesn't want to talk about sex, he says it's probably physical.

>>17882139
Sounds like a lousy shrink

>>17882134
I don't want sex and I don't have it, but I want affection and closure and I know the only way to get it from men is through sex.

>>17882137
I don't blame them. I guess they assumed I wanted it just as bad and just needed to be persuaded a lot more than girls usually.

>>17882139
>My shrink doesn't want to talk about sex
Get a new sex positive shrink.
Look into asexuality too.

>>17882354
Sounds like you're romantic, but asexual. This is very common, I can think of five friends of mine who are asexual, and most of them still desire romance and affection, minus the sex part.

My suggestion would be to try looking up asexual resources. Do some research, get some information, see if this fits. And if so, you now have a name for what you experience, and can look for asexual relationships. There's dating services and everything.

While asexual people are a definitely a minority, enough of them exist that you'll be able to find romance, if you want it.

>>17882381
I just joined fetlife because okcupid is full of terrifying SJW's.

Fetlife is just full of terrifying.

>>17881677
It only happens to me with girls I've spent some time with.

It's always some girl I work with just keeps flirting back and forth and then we fuck.

The most recent I was seriously trying not to for like 4 months because it always blows up in my face.

You have to hang with people before you know, it's not a first glance thing.

>>17882396
If you want asexual, Fetlife is -not- the way to go.

Try asexualcupid.com if you want a dating site

>doesn't like kissing
>doesn't like oral
>doesn't like anal
>vaginal sex is less disgusting
probably horrible in bed.
>wants someone great in bed.
why do you even need someone great in bed?

+44 7498 275560 please call this number and say anything you want to me im bored

>>17882411
I'm not sure there's anyone there from here.

>>17882480
I don't need great, just painless.

>>17882525
It's not them, it's you.
You don't want to fuck. Find someone asexual who doesn't want to fuck you.

Why do you even keep posting this same thread over and over and over? Holy fuck.