What do you think about open relationships? Experiences? How

as a man i find it gross and degenerate, a woman who would even consider it turns me off.

>>17881141
Why? I would love to be with a girl who would let me fuck other girls during threesome. Of course I wish she would be bi and would only be with other girls, not men. Is this possible?

>>17881138
>>17881144
underageb&

>>17881138
>>17881144
In theory it's possible. But women who want this, have the lack of jelaousy to pull it off, are bisexual etc are rare. The chances that you run into one and find her cute, in the right age range, compatible with you etc and she wants to date you is extremely rare. If you are convinced that you need this in a serious relationship then you're better off heading straight to dating sites for non-conventional relationships.

Open relationships are hot right now but good luck convincing a woman that she can't have sex with other men although you have sex with other women. And even if you'd allow her to fuck other men and be less of a total hypocrite, women are less likely to want an open relationship than men. If you disregard personal feelings for a moment, the view in society is that if a man is dating but can fuck around, he has it made. If a woman loves a man who isn't loyal then people will feel like she's humiliated and treated with utter disrespect even if she also fucks around. Likewise, because of the double standard in judging male/female promiscuity a man who's been in an open relationship is less likely to scare off future partners than a woman in the same position.

As for threesomes, by far most people have the rule that they are only willing to do it outside of a serious relationship. It can very easily complicate and ruin feelings/trust etc that took a LONG time to build.

>>17881165
How could trust be broken if threesome is something they both want?

>>17881165
You should post more in general

>>17881138

Theoretically. They work well only within strict guidelines and if both parties have an ungodly hold of their insecurities.

>>17881169
Because you are thinking of it as a simple static phenomenon where both people know exactly what they sign up for. You never know what you sign up for because you don't know what will happen in the moment.

What happens all the time is that both people go into it with their own silent expectations that then get shattered. For example, you have this fantasy of being treated like a king by two women but the third is more lesbian than bi and your girlfriend happily takes her attention while you're suddenly more a masturbating onlooker than an equal participant. Or you use nicknames for the other girl or do very specific things to her that your girlfriend felt were obviously a private ritual between the two of you and it cheapens your intimacy to hear you do all that stuff to someone else. Or for your girlfriend it was obvious that the girl will leave after sex and for you it was obvious that it's only courteous to let her stay the night after inviting her over for sex.
This is still disregarding breaking set rules in the heat of the moment (like not using protection or going for penetration despite agreeing that it was off the table), which happens a lot. And then there's the elusive and impossibly 100% avoidable chance that your girlfriend -thinks- she finds it hot shit to watch you plow another vagina until it actually happens and then she realizes no, it breaks her heart.

Basically it's too complex to know with certainty beforehand that it won't damage your relationship and for most people that makes it not remotely worth the effort.

>>17881171
On it.

>>17881181>>17881181


Applying calculated theories to a flawed and
emotional species of hairless apes

Lol good luck with your future relationships

>>17881182
>she realizes no, it breaks her heart.
Pretty much this is the biggest takeaway imo

>>17881199
I personally don't think it's the most common one if she's legitimately on board and not just trying to be the cool girlfriend. But it's definitely the worst.

And don't forget that girls who are willing to join a couple for a threesome are jokingly called "unicorns" online. It's a pretty ungrateful position, you get to be the sex prop to a couple that actually loves each other, as soon as jealousy kicks in you become the bad guy and suffer the consequences of their drama, and oftentimes there are rules implemented that take away from your sexual enjoyment.

So it's not just all the potential misery for your relationship but also the challenge itself to find a clean girl you both find attractive, who finds both of you attractive, who's not too straight and not too gay, and a-okay with going along with all of your rules and requests.

>>17881203
I like a challenge.

It's nice as a fantasy, it feels wrong in reality. If I love someone, I don't want to fuck anyone else. If I don't love someone, I won't get into a relationship or just break up when it's time. I expect the same from my girlfriend. I'd rather be honest and end things once I feel like I want to move on, and I want to be treated the same way. It hurts, sure, but it's not dishonest at least.

If a woman would tell me she wants a threesome (mmf, mff, doesn't matter) I'd pass on the relationship. To me it feels like cheating, even if it's "allowed". If I tell her I don't want to do such things, she'll have unfulfilled desires. If she has unfulfilled desires, she'll find a way to satisfy them, without my knowledge. If she does that, I'd be obligated to try to fuck up someone's face and break up with her. Breaking up is always painful, but it's even worse when you were lied to and cheated on. It's better to be honest and break up once we find out we're sexually incompatible due to our desires.

>>17881263

Same with swinging, orgies, just fucking others in general.

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>>17881138

Rare, difficult, but possible.

Everyone is into different shit sexually. Find what works for you and rock it.

I know how I feel about open relationships and they aren't for me. I couldn't have less of an opinion about what other people choose to do in their relationships. I don't think there is a wrong or right way to be in a relationship, just whatever way works for you.

I mean, if you really think about it, marriage is at an all time low and divorce is at an all time high. The nuclear family is dying and kids are growing up without parents. Who knows, maybe its time for traditions to get shaken up a little.

>>17881182
>What happens all the time is that both people go into it with their own silent expectations that then get shattered.

This.
Also, the big problem with open relationships is that people think about them when things are not going well.

In reality, it's more likely to happen that an open relationship could work if the couple already gets along, there's a rock solid communication, etc.
Basically there's a higher chance it could work if everything but sex works. Which is absolutely not a common scenario, sadly.

>>17881138
i was in one in college with a chick who lived in another state. we had met on vacation, made a point to spend a week together every month and we talked all the time, basically a couple but because of distance and everything we decided we would be 'open'.

It was fun, but I don't think i could ever have that sort of relationship with someone I deeply cared about. also, its one thing when we're in college and both getting laid the same amount and we both had the same sexual appetite. its another thing if your at home all the time and your partner is out getting laid frequently. I enjoyed my experience but will probably never do it again

>tfw just got done reading countless articles detailing unicorn hunters

I'd say my partner and I are looking for a bisexual sub woman, but apparently it'll never happen and we're assholes for walking in, setting those expectations. So. Fuck if I know.

Open relationships sounds good on paper, especially to males with distorted views of sex market.
In reality it often times ends with the woman going out and getting fucked by bulls while the man waits at home and becomes a cuck.

You should only engage in open relationship if you are absolutely certain you can pull as much pussy as you want, even when being honest about being in open relationship. Not many men can pull that off.

Threesomes are bit easier to pull off since at least technically you will be having sex every time, the relationship just has to be based on solid ground and proper rulesets has to be established.

Having threesomes works well in my relationship. We pick a girl together, seduce her, usually end up fucking her for a few months, then something usually gets awkward with her and things end, we wait a few months then do it again with another girl.

Works great, but I have to say, it only works when both of your needs are being met.

Our first threesome friend was not a good choice. She was a good choice because she was experienced and open and discussed things and helped guide us through things. She was not a good choice because she's about 80% lesbian and there's nothing quite as soul-crushing as finally being enough of a man to fuck two women at the same time, only to have one of them basically ignore you and sap up every second of your girlfriends sexual attention, leaving you sitting on the edge of the bed watching unsatisfied, on the verge of tears.

By contrast, the next girl we saw was fantastic, because she was equally bisexual, liked to share her attention around, and was a generous lover. That dynamic was much better - basically, we all decided who was going to get the focus in the moment, and all piled on them with the pleasure until they had their fill, then picked someone else.

My experience of 'open relationship' people is that they are almost always instigated by the women, the primary ends up doing all the boyfriend stuff and rarely gets any on the side, while she keeps a bunch of beta orbiters she fucks on the side when she needs an ego boost. No thanks.

>>17881324
We have very few rules in our threesomes other than I have to wear a rubber for p in v, no communication with the unicorn other than via common channels (i.e. group chat), and nobody plays unless everyone is present (so play stops while someone is on a toilet break) unless there is verbal consent from the person leaving, but that's rarely an issue. We started off with a lot more rules but very quickly ditched the majority of them - it turns out that really once you get down to fucking, all you really care about is fucking, and many of the things you think you have hangups about are actually nothing. Still, ultimately respect for each others boundaries is sacrosanct and must be obeyed at all times, otherwise things fall apart quickly.

One of the hardest things about finding a girl is finding girls we're both attracted to; it turns out we have quite disparate taste in women, and she has strong feelings about certain traits that she finds intimidating - the woman can't be shorter than her, or slimmer than her, or just generally 'too pretty' - that instantly preclude a woman. This usually means she plays the larger role in choosing the girls, while I do the heavy lifting when it comes to flirting and seducing them.

We usually have a pretty fixed procedure - after ensuring she isn't nuts on Tinder, we'll invite her to a kik chat, and if she seems the goods, we'll invite her to a dinner and drinks date with no sex. That avoids any pressure, and gives us all the opportunity to get comfortable and build some chemistry. If things go well on the first date, we'll set up a hook-up date - either specifically just to hook-up, or another date with a secondary hook-up plan, and go from there.

Staying over isn't an issue. It's actually great to sleep with two other people, provided you have a Queen or larger bed. As the man I've always loved having a woman sleeping on either side of me, especially waking up with a woman snuggled on each of your shoulders.

>>17881138
Well first off you're not going to find anyone who's like this until you're at least 18, secondly looking for this specific of a person to date is just asking to be left alone.

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>>17881340
Finding a girl with good sexual chemistry is critical - she must be generous, willing to play and experiment, willing to play the active role, or even be comfortable on the sidelines. The more balanced in her sexuality the better, as we find it's far more common for girls that unicorn to stray to the lesbian side of things, and they're always a letdown. 'Straight' girls, by comparison, are more often than not quite balanced in the distribution of their attention and willing to play with either gender.

Eventually we started to explore some aspects of cuckquean, because she really gets off on it. It started off with her leaving me alone with a younger woman and telling me to 'have our fun then come find her', progressed to her watching me fuck our threesome partner while she was tied up, no participation, and just recently, we began to explore the idea of her watching me go on a date with an unsuspecting stranger - the plan being she would sit at the bar and read, and watch from a distance as I had a 'first date' with a random girl of my choosing from Tinder. At the end of the night, she would stay in the bar, I would walk the girl outside, and she would give me half an hour to do whatever I liked, unsupervised, with the girl, while she waited for me at the bar - anything from a kiss goodnight to a blowjob, my discretion. Yet to explore that, but hopefully it will come.

We've been doing this for a couple of years now, and to be honest it's pretty wonderful, but it requires an extremely strong and trusting relationship to make it work in a relationship you want to last. It takes a lot to get over the inherent jealousy, and if you can get to a stage where jealousy isn't on your radar, you're doing quite well. Initially we had some arguments about threesomes; rarely about the girls, almost always about our expectations of one another, but as we got more experienced those became close to non-existent.

I've only seen them from an observers POV. Even people who defend poly relationships online will admit that it requires enthusiasm from both parties for it to work out. The issue is I've never actually seen it in practice.

Does a poly relationship with a healthy dynamic exist somewhere out in the world? Probably. But every poly relationship I've seen from my friends involved one partner being dragged into it to appease the other. They ended up regretting it, and it became a painful experience that caused breakups much more dramatic than normal.

I would never do it. I feel like people think it'll be this awesome sex filled fantasy land but then end up being dramatically disappointed.

>>17881182
>What happens all the time is that both people go into it with their own silent expectations that then get shattered.
Good post.

>>17881347
I'm another anon, but basically everything this guy said

Threesomes are awesome, finding a girl that really completes the couple dynamic is hard, and it's something to be done only if everything is perfectly fine in the couple, and it has been thoroughly discussed (although in my experience, most rules go out of the window when everyone is moaning)

Open relationships are something else entirely. For starters, it's not something you do toghether like a threesome, but apart. I can see this working on casual relationships but for anything on the ltr side, it's much harder to make it work

Recently I've been very open to poly relationships though, that's something I hope I can try next year

>>17881324>>17881340>>17881347

It's not a rhetoric question, I'm really curious: why not a mmf?

>>17881455
Not him, but for me, the threesome fun is in everybody interacting. Unless you're a bi guy, it's not really a "threesome", it's more like a gangbang

I wouldn't be so much into MFF threesomes if both girls weren't bi. It would still be cool to vary while fucking I guess, but not nearly as good as double teaming a girl with your gf, your gf with the girl, or being double teamed

>>17881455
>why not a mmf?

1. I'm about 90% straight - there's some parts of the *idea* of having sex with a *penis* that I enjoy, that I've previously expressed through exploring pegging, but the fact that 99% of the time there's also a man attached to that penis totally kills it for me. I can find cock attractive, I can find the idea of getting fucked or even sucking cock attractive, but I find men repulsive. Really I don't even particularly like socializing with men, I find masculinity to be so bizarre and off-putting. So the idea of then injecting a man into our seduction process - having to sit across from them and try (somehow?) to flirt, to be attractive, to invite him into our world, just seems totally foreign to the point it's almost disconcerting. To then also try and be sexually involved with that man - whether in a bisexual capacity or just 'two dicks one chick' - just has absolutely no appeal.

2. I am a man, I think like a man, so I know that a large portion, if not a majority, of the men willing to have an MMF threesome, if they aren't bisexual (which are the minority), a major part of their 'kick' from the experience is fucking another mans partner. Literally the definition of cuckolding. And I don't want to intentionally, consensually, make myself a cuck.

3. My girlfriend is in a way, a 'high status' individual - she works in an industry that means she is known to many people, many people have seen her perhaps semi-nude in some instances. As a consequence, there are a large number of beta orbiters in her life that would gladly swan in and take any opportunity they could get just to fuck her for the bragging rights, and I don't want that at all.

4. My girlfriend is extremely submissive, we have a fairly strong D/S bias in my favor as dom.

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>>17881455
5. She has stated that the idea of me being involved in bisexual activities - especially as the submissive/receptive partner - would actively detract from her internal image of me as an alpha male - the exact same thing that gives me the ability to have such an exciting sex life with her.

6. Because it has almost no sexual appeal to me, I can imagine it only as being a slightly participatory spectator in my own sex life - I wouldn't really want to be there, I don't really have any connection with the man, so really all I'm doing it putting my ego on the shelf for a while and letting another man fuck my woman to keep her happy. I'd just be watching, I wouldn't feel anything, so it just seems like a horribly awkward experience.

7. For her, a somewhat important part of the whole threesome activity has been watching me, rather than the sex itself. The sex is of course important to her, but very quickly, within the first couple of threesomes, she found that watching me with another woman was far, far more of a turn on for her, than her own sexual activities with the woman. I mean she likes to kiss and fuck girls, finds girls attractive, hell, even points out girls with nice tits when we're in public - but for her, fucking a girl is like a 7, watching me fuck a girl is like a 10. I don't understand it, but she's been pushing things that way for a long time now. I don't even have to prompt her, and she'll fantasize about watching me fuck, even her friends. I can't see that happening with another guy.

So for all those reasons and probably more, I've always basically said no to having an MMF. That was an issue at first, but as our relationship developed, she just accepted it as a part of my personality - that my ego requires my absolute and exclusive domination of her, and her having sex with another man, either in an open relationship type situation, or an MMF, would render me unable to be myself with her.

Which probably just means I'm terribly insecure.

>>17881417
>For starters, it's not something you do toghether like a threesome, but apart.

Exactly. I love our threesome dynamic, because above all else it's based on our shared fantasies, and the teamwork that goes into choosing a girl, seducing her via text, taking her on a date and making ourselves look like a normal, balanced, loving, but sexy and fuckable couple, and then basically tag-teaming her. The entire process, from go-to-woah, is something we do together, and that's exciting, just like being on a good team in a game is.

You strategize together, plan your attack, and then execute it through shared communication. It's a wonderful feeling.

By contrast I can't help but think an open relationship would be hollow - it has none of the joy of working together, just the difficulties of handling jealousy (that would be more extreme than threesome jealousy, because of fear of the unknown), and trying to maintain a loving relationship when you know you're both not fully committed to each other exclusively, and have your attentions divided elsewhere on other 'personal projects'.

I mean, at that point, your relationship stops being the focus, and it basically just becomes an emotional safety net.

I think the worst situation in particular would be one in which your relationship is open, but one partner has dramatically more partners or more rendezvous than the other. At that point, is someone not being taken advantage of? How deep can you commit to someone who spends one, two, three nights a week in the arms of another lover?

Dude you're basically me. Right now me and my gf and keeping in touch with a girl we had our last threesome with, and talking to a new one, holding hands and having a good laugh strategizing

That's something you can't have even with your closest bro