I know I sound melodramatic but... >24yo khv >tall and

Everything is going to be ok you're way over thinking this just go out and talk to women yes you'll be rejected by some but some will like you. You really just have to go out and try

>>17879900
Thank you man. I guess what I fear most is missing out on these great women because I'm too inexperienced, too shy... when really only I am to blame for my failure not her general disinterest, you know?

>>17879896

Listen, step one is going out of your comfort zone. Is it hard? Of course it is, but you gotta find a way to do it.

Your life is in your hands. Make it what you want it to be.

>>17879983
My problem is that I don't know if I still have time for that, nahmean? I'm fucking 24 already and the "Torschlusspanik" is setting in hard.

>>17879992
>"Torschlusspanik"

I don't know what that is, but waiting on indecision is not gonna solve anything either. Instead of imagining what you *should* be, just *be* whatever you are.

Go out and have fun. Maybe you get lucky, maybe you don't, but at least enjoy instead of sulking.

>>17879999
Literally means gate closing panic. As in the window of opportunity is shutting down and I'm "running out of time," as they always sing in these stupid pop songs.

>>17879999
Btw dat quad

>>17880011
>Literally means gate closing panic.

Imagine you are out a door. The door is closing. You are too scared to try to make a jump for it. Oh, you probably won't make. You'll likely fail.

But "likely fail" is still better odds than "0%", right? And by doing nothing, you have "0%". So why not try?

>>17880031
...you think I'll likely fail? Dont go giving me a panic attack.

>>17880045

Come on, you are the one that brought the metaphor up!

it's gonna be alright dude, trust me

I didn't have it quite as bad as you, I had kissed a few girls by finishing high school, and had a gf in college, but when I was 24, shit, even 25, I still had super bad oneitis, even with girls I had just met. I still struggle with that a little, even today.

after my last gf broke up with me about a year ago, I was really crushed. I met a new girl fast, and, surprise, oneitis again after meeting her, I would get pissed if I saw her talking to other guys, just started acting like a total retard. I've met more than a few girls since then, hooked up with a few of them, and while at the beginning of this year I thought I'd be alone forever and things were never gonna be good for me again, they'e really turned around.

I think the best thing to learn is to just make friends with the opposite sex, don't look at every girl you meet as an opportunity to fuck, and you'll meet good girls. some you might even consider having a relationship with. taking it one step further, not every girl that you have a connection with is gonna be that way, either. some you meet will even be boring, and the chemistry you thought you had will die down quickly. I think if you start to see girls in a more human way, instead of this idealized, magical, "she's-gonna-be-the-source-of-my-happiness" kind of way that people with oneitis seem to share, and just do your thing, you'll start to have real genuine interactions with people and it'll be easier to find someone who you think is really worth it.

>>17880064
Thx, bro.

I know my oneitis is a delusion, but the lack of love and sex is driving me crazy, you know? That leads to desperation which leass to no sex which leads to desperation which you get the idea. My problem is also that I have high standards, but I actually feel lowering them would be unfair to the women I would date, since I do feel I am reasonably attractive and interesting, as horribly arrogant as it sounds I wouldn't be able to have enuine interest for out-of-shape or less attractve women... am I sounding crazy yet?

>>17880089
However good looking you think you are, try talking to girls that are below your standards. At worst, if you get to know them better, they will introduce you to their female friends that look better than them.

>>17880089

you don't have to tell me about high standards... mine are so impossibly high it's outrageous.

in either case, just meet girls. meet uglier ones, hotter ones, ones you would definitely fuck, ones you would want in a relationship, ones you wouldn't consider either of those things, all of them. try not to idealize them or act too desperately, and you'll be fine. masturbating is fun, too, just do that any time you feel like you're getting desperate.

>>17880135
Another thing, I'm thinking about doing a hail mary tomorrow and ask my oneitis out on a date, even though a friend of hers assured me I would most likely fail (yes I asked her friend, stupid move I know). I want the spell to be broken by getting the final rejection but I also value the friendship... should I even want to be her friend anymore?

>>17879896
A gf will not make your life automatically better.

Inserting your penis in a vagina is great sure, but you will not be happy just because you have a girl.

First make you feel content with you.
Find out your true passion/interest and follow it to death, try to make it your daily job by any means.

>>17879896
I thought the same thing anon, but she came along eventually. Just being tall and fit gave me a girl. Gave me the confidence I needed, life's been better since, even though I can't stand her now. Just hang in there, and for God's sake try to talk to women. You don't have to hit on them, just figure out how they work.

>>17879983
EVERYTHING is out of my comfort zone.
i'm not afraid.
if there was a 0.01% of getting a yes i would go out and tell a random woman "i would like to build a loving relationship with you"
but i never have a situation or idea to interact with women that doesn't end badly for me

>>17880150
>should I even want to be her friend anymore?

yes. you should.

anecdotal story:

girl I know, i had actually shut her down when we met about 3 years go, just didn't see her in the right light when i met her. she's gorgeous, and fun, but when i met her seemed really dumb and I knew a couple dudes she had slept with, so i wasn't that into her.

then, a few years later, having slept with a few other girls myself, and getting more into the normal "rhythm" of losing oneitis and just interacting with people as people, we both found ourselves single and wanting to hang out. so, we would, and just to have fun. we went camping once or twice, we are both danceers so we would go out and dance, too, just to have fun.

I made moves on her a few times, but got nowhere, and when it happened i would think "oh shit, I just ruined everything" but she played it cool and I played it cool, and we are still good friends. she even has a boyfrind now, and while that line has been established of "not gonna happen" it's really good to have a friend like that. we tried it out, a few times, didn't work, no harm done, let's be friends kinda thing.

it's actually really cool. idk how you or her are, in your situation, but my advice would be to try it out, hope for the best, if it doesn't work, oh well. if you both value the friendship equally, and she's not one of those piece of shit girls who relishes in having a bunch of friendzoned followers, you'll keep the friendship in spite of asking her out. she'll say no, you'll shrug your shoulders and say "okay" and you'll text her the next day about seeing the new star wars or some shit and it'l be fine.

Use internet to meet people you fuck, it's made for shy people like you, nobody will find out and you'll get experience

>>17880232

you always have that chance

you just have to not do it with random women, and not right away. you should require better odds than 0.01%, it's called self-respect.

the kind of odds you're asking for are always there, with any woman. you should be shooting for like 50%, and realize that not all of the girls that give you the time of day are worth building a loving relationship with

>>17880221
How do I find my passion? Been trying to find one for years but I always go back to just gym and video games...

>>17880572

just try shit.

I used to think guys that danced were totally gay. but, got into west coast swing and it's not only a total blast but it's a great way to meet girls. try salsa, country swing, or any other kind of social partner dance, and see what you think.

I also used to think kayaking was so dumb. like, why just go out on a boat and paddle around on a lake, what a waste of time. but, my buddy got a kayak, and said how fun it was, so i rented one and went out with him once or twice, next thing you know I'm buying a $900 kayak that's "entry level" and going on paddling/camping trips for days at a time

it's what you make of it.