I'm lonely af and all my boyfriend does is play video games:)

Relying on one single person for all your social interaction is usually bad anyway.
Go to parties if you want to. I he gets jealous, tell him he can come with you.

Play games with him, duh. Surely you knew he was a videogame junkie BEFORE you moved across the country to be with him? If you didn't then you're retarded if you're not okay with it because chaning people is hard. Anyway, seems like you're social and he's not so social. You'll have to reach a compromise here. Tell him to stop being a jealous bitch when you want to hang out with your girlfriends, and you won't complain about the fact that he stays inside all day playing video games like some neck beard.

>>17876367
I knew he liked video games. I like them too and I wanna play with him. BUT THE GUYS ARE CALLING HIM ON TS which just means they're better company.

I know I'm trying to find new friends but I'm very shy, also not very social. More social online.

He won't go to parties with me.

>>17876377
Won't they let you be part of their clan?

>>17876399
He plays ranked games with them and I'll never be that good.
And please don't advise me to be good like that because it ain't happening xD

>>17876346
He's choosing his buddies over you

talk to him about your feelings like this post just to his face
Don't take, get a hobby for an answer

>>17876423
Yes I did.
He kinda says something in the lines if "when I come from work I wanna relax" and he once told me that since we're living together he doesn't see the point of us acting like we're dating. Don't know if this makes sense to you...
Like in a way when you're not living together you have a lot of time for yourself and then take a few times a week to see eachother for a few hours and dedicate time for eachother. When living together it's different.

But the problem is even on the weekends aka free time, he does the same.
Sleeps late, gets up, goes to the pc. Only time we "hang" is dinner and "bedtime".

>>17876423
And honestly I love games and wouldn't mind watching him play and interacting with him. But when he plays with the giys he can't talk to me.
I asked him recently to maybe start a game together so I can watch but he just said he's not in a mood for a new game atm.

>>17876346

I once dated a guy in competitive esports and lasted for a bit over a year. There's a line between giving space for his hobbies and feeling constantly as the second best. It's even more difficult with gaming, because it's a hobby that's done from home at almost any hour, so there's really no "off" time like in other hobbies. In the end, it's better to be alone and lonely than with someone and still fucking lonely, because it hurts a lot less with the first option in the long run. Have a serious conversation about this, tell him how it's making you feel and if nothing changes over a reasonable adjustments period, then walk.

>>17876471
Thank you, I understand.
I can't help to feel like the bitchy one. I don't wanna be one of those "bitches who won't let their bf game". I just don't know... I love him and don't wanna push him away with my demands...

>>17876444
>>17876434
Sounds like he's inconsiderate and won't listen

I suggest leaving for a bit to make him realize you're serious or permanently

>>17876481
I'm kinda trying. Not leaving but not floating around him.
I usually go and hug him every hour or so in the evening. But now I kinda stopped because I wanna see if he will "miss" me.
Would go for hour long walks but it's really snowy here so I can't.

>>17876478
There's literally nothing wrong with telling your partner to fuck off and stop playing video games all day, grow a spine.

Video games are for children.

>>17876492
I know, I just feel bad about it. Because he sometimes says he wants to relax after work and not worry about me/how I'm feeling.
I don't know how to bring it up anymore without sounding whiny. Again.

>>17876498
You are being spineless, there's a difference between being in love with a person and being in love with the idea of love, if the guy is spending more time playing with a bunch of fat fucks than spending with you, then he's a piece of shit who probably just likes you for the sex.
Like, how the fuck does addressing issues make you whiny?

>>17876511
I know, it's just how I feel, I'm sorry.
I will try and talk to him, thanks anon

>>17876511
If I use "spend more time with them than me" he will probably mention that we live togther so it's not true.
The last time I mentioned I mind it he said "but we ate dinner together" which sometimes I feel is rushed because the guys are waiting.
I never seem to be able to win so to say.
What are some good arguments?

>>17876525
>We live together

It doesn't feel like that, you're constantly playing games, we barely hang out anymore, when we eat dinner I feel like you're rushing to get back to your fucking game and you don't give a shit about me. Call me a bitch or a cunt but I need more from you. I love you but I don't know how much longer I can keep doing whatever "this" is

>>17876346
dump him on christmas. i should make a book for women. then tell him sorry my family wanted me to spend more time with them.

>>17876525
Listen, what kind of dickhead uses mental gymnastics to justify his neglect?
This guy really sounds like a piece of shit from the things you've said.

>>17876540
Okay thank you! I'll try with something like that.

>>17876540
I went a bit intense here but I feel like you'll put it through your "nice/shy" filter and it'll come down to the appropriate level. The message is what's important and you need to send it clearly

>>17876364
ur an idiot, its not about her being needy, hes deliberately pushing her off and using TS as his gateway for that. ive been there before, he just wants sex.

>>17876346
should have stayed with that loving and loyal guy.

>>17876377
he wont go to parties with you bc his friends are going to make fun of him bc you dont have a huge ass or tits. wake upppppppppppp.

>>17876525
honestly the amount of cringe here is way too strong bc i was in this same situation. but the good news is youll learn how to handle the next guy two guys from now.

>>17876563
I look good, that's not the problem. He's just not the party type.

>>17876558
My last bf was a liar and a cheater so no.

>>17876569
>I look good
Post feet, now.

>>17876567
This honestly just makes me cry even more because I thought I finally found the one. I just want him to realise. He is very sweet and loving. He just doesn't get I need him sometimes. And I mean we've only been dating for almost two years. If we're already at the point where he just does his own thing and ignores me I can only imagine what will be in 10 years when the relationship is old.

Make and enforce a schedule that gets you at least an hour or two with him away from the computer every night. When it becomes habit for a few weeks, he'll stop being constantly pressured by the guys during the time set aside for you.

>>17876582
And yes I realize you would want more than "an hour or two", but you gotta start somewhere and it has to be regular.

>>17876584
I mean even an hour or two would be nice.
I just feel like I'm boring and have nothinf to offer. All I can offer at this point is to watch movies/shows. Can't go anywhere because of the weather. And even when we watch something he's on the phone playing a phone game. Which I once mentioned is bothering me but he said he can play it and talk so I didn't complain about it again.

>>17876613
sounds like he sees you as a fleshlight that can cook

>>17876621
True, I do cook really good and he never has to do anything.
I don't know... thanks guys. Imma go cry myself to sleep now, he's still playing games so no worries he'll see me lmao

It seems that you two simply don't want the same thing from a relationship. I suggest breaking up with him. Giving ultimatums just makes you a bitch.
But mostly i recommend building up your own social circle so you don't have to rely on your boyfriend for social stimulation.

On a tangent, isn't it interesting that bitch tends to be associated with bossy when used on women, but submissive when used on men?

>>17876613
Why don't you just confront him?
Why are you so shy and scared?

>>17876629
The thing is, aside from me loving him, I just moved here a few months ago and got a job. Can't really afford living on my own even if I wanted to for example show him and go live on my own so he misses me.

I just tell myself this is normal and I just need to find hobbies which won't make me think of the loneliness. Same with finding friends.

>>17876633
I'm scared he'll see how whiny I am and leave me. In all honesty.

>>17876654
So you think it's alright for him to tell you to be quiet and suck it up, serving as nothing but an onahole for his semen?
Please, you can't tolerate this shit, I don't know you, but I'm on your side on this issue, he's in the wrong and you need to stop tolerating this bullshit.
Take a day to think about how you're going to confront him, don't get emotional and start yelling like I did when I was younger. You really shouldn't allow people to degrade you like this.

>>17876646
It is normal. That doesn't mean you have to put up with it. And you should find some friends.

>>17876679
I live for the moments when it's almost midnight and he has to go to bed because of work tomorrow. Then is kinda the only time I can fully be with him.

Thanks adv, for making me realise how pathetic I am haha wow

>>17876744
>Thanks adv, for making me realise how pathetic I am haha wow

No need to thank us, we're just doing our jobs.

>>17876646
>>17876744
The person you're dating is supposed to be your friend too. It doesn't sound like you want that much from him, so it's not like you're being demanding. There's nothing wrong with expecting your partner to be your friend and spend time with you. My girlfriend and I are best friends and we live together. We love hanging out but we also do our own thing sometimes. Why would you be with someone who doesn't like spending time with you? Sounds like having a roommate that you fuck.

>>17876784
Yeah, that is what I want.
But feel like I have to compete and always come up with amazingly fun ideas of what to do. Last week we kinda said we would have a date night. I think he forgot, probably thinks it's only my responsibility since I'm the one that whined about it.

I don't know. I'll take a day or two to think about all I'm gonna say. I just have a history of boyfriends always winning in arguments. As in making me feel like the guilty one in the end.

>>17876806
Well you don't have any reason to feel guilty. Just don't be mean or accusing. Just say exactly what you mean.

>>17876823
This is where my insecure self comes along. Even when I get him to do something all I think about is how bored he probably is and is probably just waiting to go back to the pc.
So sometimes I give up before even asking for attention. This is my fault tho.

>>17876851
Sounds like you have an inferiority/guilt complex. You really have to learn to be more assertive.

>>17876579
Then tell him exactly that.
Guys often don't pick up on subtle emotional signals. Be direct and clear and explicit about how you feel and what you perceive as problems, then see if you can work out how to improve them. Also it's kind of BS not to keep going out together while in a relationship. I always did and I'm pretty shy sometimes myself.

>>17876629
Breaking up with someone without even firing a warning shot is far more awful than giving an ultimatum. Relationships are built on communication.

>>17877425
But should it really take an ultimatum for it to register as a warning shot?

I don't know. Maybe i've just been on /adv/ too long, but the general advice is always that if you're at a point where you're forced to resort to ultimatums, the relationship is already over.

>>17877456
Doesn't have to be an ultimatum but does have to be a 'serious discussion', which kind of implies something similar. Also see:
>>17877415

>>17876346
How about you develop your own personality instead of latching onto your current bf