My dad's been diagnosed with cancer and is starting chemotherapy

>>17876217
I've never been through this OP. Best thing I can do is telling you your dad needs to be strong and spend lots of time with him. Best of luck for you and your family OP. May God be with you.

>having a relationship with your parents
lmao cuck

from working in the med field, the best i can tell you is just be there for them. call them frequently, check up on them. make it a priority to see them.

nobody really knows if chemo is gonna be successful or not. just pray for him and i hope for the best for you. if he's 70 he's already lived a generous lifetime

Depends on what stage his cancer is in as to how well chemo might even work, but at his age the chances of it being successful are very slim. I'm sorry but that's the truth. I went through something very similar about 5 years ago. We opted not to go through with chemo because it usually saps the life out of people, especially older people, and if they're gonna go they're gonna go and it's better they at least have a little strength and dignity in their last months. The doctors will typically advise you that you have to do it but for them it's all about money sadly. Now if they caught the cancer early though he may have a chance with chemo but if it's like stage 3 or 4 and you add in his age then it's highly unlikely chemo is going to work.

Just be there for your parents as much as you can. Tell your dad you love him as often as possible. Just talk to him and get to know him as much as you can before he goes. Having good memories of him will help you cope when he's gone.

My dad had stage 3 lung cancer when they found it and it metastasized to stage 4 very quickly. Lung cancer really eats you up quick...

>>17876230
I don't think you know what that word means, boy.

>>17876246

My mother didn't tell me what stage it was at. Should I ask her?

also I work in a job where management are insane. I was not allowed to go home but I'm going anyway by brute force. They can't fire me if I keep taking leave to do this can they?

Obviously your father won't want to hear this, but even if he hadn't gotten cancer, given his age, his last years would have likely been a painful period of decay. Life sucks, we only have a limited period of time before we're reclaimed by the void.

>>17876272
That's up to you, it depends on if you think you can take it or not if it turns out to be bad news. If you do ask and it's stage 4, I recommend not going through the chemo. Chemo will give him more time probably, but it'll be a horrible existence. Better to live a little shorter period of time in more comfort. Even stage 3 is a judgement call, depends on things like how fit, physically strong and healthy he is.

>>17876272
You can ask her how bad it is, yes.

They can fire you but if they did it would be in very poor judgement. If you really wanted to get your job back you could, but frankly you shouldn't work somewhere that isn't going to be flexible with a situation like this. Jobs come and go but family is more important. Especially if you have a good family.

>>17876283

I understand, than you. They are already going through so even if it's that stage I can't stop them, but I'd hope my mother wouldn't say yes if it was stage four now..

>>17876287

You're right. I wouldn't, it pays my rent and that's it, I am hunting for another one anyway. I feel like if they did that I'd ask HR about it too. I love my family and barely see them now I'm an adult living by myself, they are priority

I don't know where you live but the US has a law that allows an employee unpaid time off to care for sick family.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_and_Medical_Leave_Act_of_1993

>>17876272
Check this out OP. You have the right to take time for sick family members.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_and_Medical_Leave_Act_of_1993

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I bet if he's anything like most dads, he probably doesn't want to feel like a burden on his loved ones and will be uncomfortable being waited on. But, he will be happy to see you, and I bet your mom will really appreciate having someone to help out with shit like meals and keeping the house in order. You don't need to be a nurse or anything, even simple things like running out for groceries make it easier for everyone.

I know chemo and radiation suck horse dicks, especially when you're old; makes you feel really sick and low energy. Your dad will probably be really tired and nauseated when the treatment's been going for a while. I remember the people I've taken care of with cancer always appreciated things like being read to, where they could just kind of listen and rest, drifting off if they need to.

I'm sorry your family has to deal with this, but I wish you and your dad the best of luck. Fuck cancer.

>>17876217
>spoilers: I've never had cancer
chemo is rough on your body, you can drop a lot of weight and have bad reactions to your treatment. the older you get, the harder it is to bounce back from these things

i wouldn't get your hopes up, just cherish your last days with your dad

>>17876217
lung cancer he has less than 2 years even with the best treatments available.

>>17877708
>>17878096
I'm UK, thank you so much, I'm going to see if any of this applies to my workpace because our manager is an absolute robot about these things and has the hivemind of sales over family. I'm only contracted 16 hours a week as well so it seems stupid (though I do 30 and that pays my rent)

I agree he doesn't want to be a burden, I'll do my best to help but not make him feel too overbeared or guilty. Thank you so much. I will tell him a lot of stories.

If hes stage 3 or 4 you have to prepare for your dad to leave you, if he is stage 4 tell him not to do chemo, its awful and not worth.

If hes stage 2 he has a good chance of living
If hes stage 1 they're just giving him a short trial of chemo because hes got it in an area thats hard to operate on.

Sorry to hear that. I have been through this with one of my parents but they were younger than your dad and it was a more rare form of cancer.

The best advice I think anyone can give you is to be strong and at least try to put on a brave face for him. You can mourn and cry after he is gone but doing this now is probably the best way to help him. I know if I was in his position I would not be able to take my mind off the fact that I'm dying, so any distraction you can provide to take his mind of it even for a second is helpful. You being strong will encourage him to be strong. Spend as much time as you can with him because you won't have another chance after he is gone.

I know it sucks seeing your parent in that state, but the best thing you can do is be strong, spend time with them and do what you can to raise their spirits and distract them from their fate.

My condolences go out to you. Be strong and push ahead.

>>17876217
http://www.cancersupportcommunity.org/immunotherapy-lung-cancer

might be worth while checking out whether any immunotherapy trials are being undertaken which he may qualify for.

>>17876217
Just quit your job and go stay with your dad until he passes. You can work part time while youre there and stay with your mom. Retail jobs are always available amd you might not have trouble getting rehired after your dad passes and you return home. Worst case scenario, you end up staying with your mom until you can find a new job. Best case scenario, you get a small inheritance or a piece of his life insurance and you have some cushion to ease the pressure of finding a new job right away.