How do I learn to not fear making mistakes so hard that I never

>>17875466

realize that there are no consequences to most of the failures. and even if htere's a consequence its a temporary or insignificant one.

an example i like to use a lot on this board is approaching women. its funny because Alphas actually get rejected by more women than Betas. This is because the alpha doesn't fear rejection. he knows that if a girl says 'sorry not interested' it has nothing to do with him. she can't see some score floating above his head, nor can she assign him one. shes just too wrapped up in her own life to give him the time of day, and thats okay most people are.

the beta on the other hand assumes that there is a magic man in the sky who keeps track of rejection, and every rejection he gets will send him closer to hell, so he tries to find a loophole: only ever asking out a girl if he is 100% sure she is into him. its an unhealthy mindset.

most of the things you'd fail at have no consequence. it depends what you want to do.

we can help deconstruct htis mindset further if you talk about what mistakes you are afraid of making.

I have Basophobia, so i seize every excuse to climb up on the roof of our house.

>>17875490
Dude, you are wasting your time on /adv/ writing long essays, pretending you got everything figured out.

Tell me, does all of this pretending make you any happier?

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>>17875753

i never said i have everything figured out. just this one thing.

im sorry that two paragraphs worth of material is a long essay for you. back to remedial english.

>>17875753
There is not a single thing in his post that is wrong.

Actually trying and risking failure instead of being afraid of the risk is one of the biggest differences between successful and unsuccessful people.

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>>17875490
>we can help deconstruct htis mindset further if you talk about what mistakes you are afraid of making
All of them. It doesn't matter what, minor things can make me hate myself well out of the scope of natural response to mistakes.

It's expressed itself in minor ways, like when I tried to get in shape, and I injured myself, or I messed up on a day or two, I just fall deeper into shame and I can't work out the funk and by then I've gotten fatter than before. I work for a security agency, I messed up a release form and only got the DL number and name, instead of ALL the information needed, and felt sick all afternoon, even when those two things were all the staff needed for their records and really no one was going to write up a notation for this as its way more paperwork than necessary. But I felt horrible, and I was the one who brought it up to my supervisor, like I was going to be punished for it. And yet nothing happened but I was worried for a week before someone told me it didn't matter and to just do it right next time. That funk isn't healthy living, but I couldn't escape it, part of me was terrified I was going to get fired just for that.

(Pic unrelated)

>>17876139
Also Jesus Christ just now I lost the second half of this and I already feel like crap because I copied the post wrong. I just spent five minutes considering whether to just stop here, but it's not enough, so I gotta power through typing this again while feeling like an idiot far more than I should, but I can't un-feel.

So, I went to this /o/ meetup, show off cars, grab burgers, drive around fast, have fun. And it was, but I was staying in the back a lot. I was driving the speed limit. And I was taking longer and longer to keep up. Finally I decided to speed up, and I was doing REALLY well. Smoothly overtaking people, speeding down 140, it felt amazing. And then suddenly, this wave of panic overset the coolness. Suddenly every curve was a speedtrap, every bump a possibility to flip. And my car's not a terrible thing, it's a Camry, but it has a V8 and some other upgrades due to a factory recall in 04, so it had a lot more power than most of the cars there (at least according to the others). But I just quickly hit the brakes and pulled over, and almost vomited. Nothing I'd done wrong, nothing I'd seen, I just got this rush of panic overcoming the joy I was feeling, and it soured the whole experience with this shame that I couldn't tell anyone about.

And it's like that shame is what holds me back on so much. Like applying for the Foreign Service Exam, I get through the questionaire half-way then get depressed, close the tab and go take a nap to wash off the shame. I couldn't even apply for Paypal Credit, not even like to use it just to make an account I was terrified of some magical six months later scenario of high interest rates on not paying shit back six months later. And not for like a car, for a 200 dollar transformer, (pic related). I'm not scraping by, I could pay that off in two months, but the what if paralyzed me.

Fear of potential disaster is cutting me off from things I know I'd do fine with if I could just bear risk and accept mistakes.

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>>17876181
Forgot pic. I mean it doesn't matter, but Carnifex is awesome.

Point is, self-awareness isn't conquering my fears so I don't know what will.