I know there isn't any easy method to move on from someone.

Not going to go into details because i don't like to talk about it, but basically: things happened that eventually replaces feelings of love with feelings of nausea and vague disgust. That made it much easier to move on.

Cutting all contact is literally the only way. Trust me.

My only solution is not seeing them. Or meeting someone else I like more. Sorry!

cut all contacts yeah.
then do stuff. i haven't found a secret, it just goes away after some time.
i went back to studying and started doing volunteer work. for the remaining time, video games, youtube videos, livestreams, music and books help me not to think too much. i try to fill my mind with random shit.

i've learned a lot since then, mainly not to get too attached to people for no reason.

>>17875044
I'm thinking I should do that but it's going to be a difficult process since I have a very small group of friends, and she is one of them.

give yourself a set number of days to feel bad about yourself, but mark a day on your calendar when you "move on". that's the day you start living life again. be as introspective as you need for those days but stay true to your plan. from then, get busy. fill your time with activities and experiences.

it will take substantially longer to get over someone if all you have memories of are "her". you need new memories that you can reflect on. your future you needs it. the mind tends to embellish or over-analyze memories. give your brain more memories to work with. new good memories.

when you talk to people, you don't want the only conversation topic to be how "i used to date this one girl". romance is one of the many facets of you.

this also applies to the conversations you have with yourself. if "the relationship" is the only thing you can talk to yourself about, you will end up drained and miserable.

love yourself like you loved them.

>>17875069
I have 5 weeks worth of holidays where I won't be seeing her. It was a few weeks ago that I confessed to her.

Should I start getting busy now? I've not taken much time to feel bad about it.

>>17875077
it's entirely up to you. i would suggest no longer than the 5 week timeframe you mentioned.

but you need to decide now. setting the date is the promise that you will start being good to yourself. get a paper calendar and mark the date. treat the calendar as a journal if it helps. jot down your accomplishments as you move forward.

if "those feelings" come back, acknowledge and appreciate how you are capable of even having them, but remind yourself that you've already thought long enough about it and there's no use in beating yourself up further because of it.

>>17875120
appendum:

i would personally choose 2 or 3 weeks, seeing how you've already put the distance of a "few weeks" between the incident and today. this way, you will have a full 2 weeks to grow before having to see "her" again.

remember, even after seeing her, you cannot let your feelings distract you from the promise you made yourself. be mindful. catch yourself if you see yourself slip into that miserable comfort zone.

get busy!

>>17875120
>>17875152
Thank you for the advice, Anon. I appreciate it.

>tfw seeing her tonight
I just cant say no to her
Thanks for the comfy gif

>>17874931

the best way to move on from any relationship is to not define yourself by love.

most men are just as love sick as women. you all say you know that love isn't permanent and all that crap, but then in th eback of your minds you say 'but ill be the one special guy who gets a disney princess, my relationship will be destiny and well live together til we die!'

then you act all shocked when it doesn't work out.

the best way to get over someone else is to prioritize yourself. if you are a happy person with a nice life and you love yourself and what oyu do, then break ups are just speed bumps.

notice that truly happy people are okay when their spouse dies. yes, they grieve. they feel sad. they feel the pain. but they don't break down. because they still have and love themselves. people who don't love themselves don't know what to do without their partner cuz they tend to build their entire life around them.

>>17875198
You are completely right. With me I don't just define myself by love, I find myself relying on friends too much.

I'm finding it difficult to learn how to be satisfied with solitary activities. Do you have any advice for that?

>>17875211

treat yourself. and i dont mean cave in and do something you want at the last minute and feel guilty the entire time.

pick a night, pick something that you want to do and do it. go see a movie, or take yourself out to dinner. people act like going to dinner alone is the worst thing ever. FALSE. it is the best thing ever. i had a date last week i said 'hey im a little tight on cash cuz of the holidays, mind if i cook you dinner from home?'. htey said yes, it was a great night... but then the NEXT night i went out and treated myself to dinner instead of my date. cuz i deserve it. and that was some damn good sushi.

once you get past that hurdle, you'll realize htat treating yourself nice makes you like life more instead of caving into something at the last minute and hating yourself for it.


after that, try focusing on a creative hobby. you dont have to be good at it. like to write? make a book. or a serialization. or a radioplay.

like video games? download rpgmaker and make a simple one. then a complex one. then download gamemaker and make a game there.

like to draw? make a comic. do something that give syou satisfaction when it sdone. upload it for other s to enjoy if you want or just keep it for yourself.

doing things like this gives you something to work towards. i get so excited about writing scripts and making movies that im looking forward to NOT hanging out wiht friends so i can get back to work.

>>17875233
Thank you. I'll go ahead and do that with your words in mind.

>>17874931
>what have you learned from it
It looks like the end of the wrold and you feel like you wont ever find someone you like as her but it's not, and you will.
Focus on improving yourself and just try to always be around some friend or relative to get you distracted and do things you enjoy doing.

>>17874931
you never really move on, the memories just fade as years pass.

i'm in the same situation as OP with slight differences. there was this person i was getting close to and i slowly started falling for her thinking it's gonna work out. but she started seeing another guy the day i was gonna confess. it's been 7 months and i still haven't been able to forget about her even though i haven't seen her since. she comes to my mind at least twice every hour, i dream about her from time to time and everything reminds me of her. am i lost? is there still hope for me?

>>17875455
bump for this. anyone? i don't wanna 404 a thread by posting a similar thread to this one.

>>17875455
i know that feel, its been 4 years and im still not sure if i got over her

>>17875885
fuck! goddammit! the last time it happened it lasted for 3 years. i don't want that to happen again yet i still want to see her and wish for another chance. you have no idea how many girls i ignored because of her.

>>17875905
just hand me the helium desu

>>17874931
unrequited love sucks, i beat myself up about it when there was another person who was interested in me that i ignored and didnt even think about. luckily i got a second chances a few years down the line, but i wish i had been able to see what was right in front of me at the time

as far as moving on, i cut all contact and put alot of space in between us and eventually i just stopped thinking about it so often

>i'd call it unrequited attraction rather than love
you'll want to initiate a no-contact with them. unfriend/unfollow on social media, limit face-to-face and phone contact.
meeting someone else who likes you helps

>>17875975
>>17875999
already cut all means of contact. hadn't seen her in 7 months and still can't stop thinking about her. i don't even think i can see her again, not even on social media because she doesn't use em. but i still can't fucking forget about that woman. sometimes, very rarely, i break down into tears when nobody is around. for now i live in a very small town where i can't meet new girls because all we have here is old people and i'm usually stuck at home. what do?

>>17874931
Related question: what do you do when your unrequited love is your best friend (just sorta happened). Is the only option to cut contact or is there a way to salvage the friendship by somehow getting over the overwhelming feelings.

>>17877294
I'm friends with my unrequited love as well. Those are your two choices and it's up to you.

I'd say cut contact only if you feel you need the distance between the two of you in order to move on.

But if you feel that you can move on by just seeing other girls or something like that, you can just keep quiet and stay friends.

Up to you.

>>17877448
Ideally I'd like to stay friends, but it's an issue of how. I've only had romantic feelings for someone one other time in my life so I doubt I'll find another romantic interest in any short order. I have hobbies and a full time job but I find as soon as I'm idle for any extended period of time the thoughts kick in and shitty feelings return. Been going on for maybe 7 or 8 months I guess.

>>17877597
>the best way to get over someone else is to prioritize yourself.

I'd say follow this advice. Do things you want to do for yourself and create happy memories to refer to when you start to dwell again.

Since it's lasted 7-8 months I strongly suggest you try to at least limit contact as much as possible.

But with it lasting this long you may have to cut contact, although that could be hard as you are best friends. Either way start by limiting contact and see if that helps.

>>17877646
>limiting contact

Yeah, I have been doing that. I do notice that the more I do so the easier it is to deal without speaking or interacting for longer and longer periods of time, but feelings still return regardless. It's like I'm slowly leting the emotional leash out but I'm still runing out of line.

I guess the only "happy" solution is to find someone else to replace them but for someone with the ass burgers that's pretty fucking hard (I seem to only be attracted to people I know already).

Guess I need to sit down and make a hard decision.

>>17877718
I'm with you man, I've got ass burgers. I know it's hard. I'm trying to meet new people to get over her and leaving my comfort zone is a new experience.

I find the less serious I am the easier it is to deal with things. Try to put into perspective that there are plenty of new people you have yet to meet and if you take that risk you'll be rewarded.

File: aid56036-728px-Get-Rid-of-Poison-Ivy-Plants-Step-4-Version-4.jpg (43KB, 728x546px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 728x546px

it hurt for a bit and then I visualized a plant in my chest and pulled it out completely like a bad weed

what this means is making the conscious effort of reflecting on your feelings and accepting that it won't work and you shouldn't be wasting your emotional energy on the matter

I'm actually platonic friends with him again. I have no desire to date him anymore. I think I handle things better than most. We used to be really close friends and he did some things that made he think he liked me--turns out it wasn't the case and I got pissed off that he did that and I cut all contact for a year.

I met a lot of other guys and went on dates etc. i was really upset for a while but since he doesn't want me , then I don't want him. i realized I was being silly and he wouldn't have been a good bf at all. And that he's older than me but immature for his age. And we want different things out of life/the future. So I hit him up and apologized for cutting him out and explained why. I said I missed being friends which was true.

We went and got dinner together and it was great honestly. I didn't want him at all. I wasn't in love with him. We just enjoyed company as friends. I think i cured myself of the tendency to get clingy and attached to people now, which is great.