How bad is it to be: - 21 years old kissless "virgin"

>>17868237
> 21 years old kissless "virgin" (got fucked in the ass by older guy)

Not really bad really, a lot of people haven't figured out yet how to carry out a "regular" life in their early 20s. If you ever feel like you're about to break, always consider going to a psychologist, it is amazing how they can help you.

>No friends, no gf, i got invited to a bar once this whole year

Again, if you feel like the loneliness is overwhelming you, you adn indeed ask a psychologist. They will recommend the regular shit like get some hobbies that involve interaction with people etc, yet the mere conversation with a professional can be releiveing.

>How do i get a gf?

Doesn't work the same way for everyone, sorry, I don't know how to ask that question. I guess it depends on what you are looking in a relationship. Just try not to overthink about it so it doesn't affect you too much.

>What if i really blew up any chance with a girl i really like way too much? Is there any way to recover?

For the good or the worst, experience has taught me nothing is really impossible when it comes down to human behaviour. You might, however, want to consider if that loss was for the best or not.

Best regards, you are not alone

>>17868237

depends on your definition of 'bad'. if you mean in terms of how girls will view you, its not GREAT i mean no girl knowingly gets with a virgin who's been fuckedi n the ass (was it rape? was it when you were young? give details so i can help you frame this for reference) who doesn't go out and has blown every chance with a girl.

however, no girl has to know you're a virgin until its too late. girls dont sit aroudn thinking 'is that guy a virgin?'. they honestly assume that (unless you're a fatttttttttttttt guy) that you've lost your virginity to someone just not someone hot.

as for getting fucked by an older guy, rape or consensual doesn't matter if you just keep it to yourself.

>no friends

the fact that you want a gf but dont have friends is pretty depressing. its like wanting dessert but no vegetables.

friends are what keep you healthy. someone great explained it as a pyramid.

the top of the pyramid (the final step) is girls. having a good relationship with a girl is nice.

the next level down is friends. if things go bad with the girl. its great to have friends because you have them to fall back on, to help you, to take care of you.

the next level down is the base of the pyramid: self. a good relationship with self means you don't need anyone.

a lot of sad virigns like to look at people in couples and literally say 'why do they get to be so happy'.

but the truth was they were already happy before they met girls. they were happy before they even had friends. they could move and start over and still be the happiest guy you know because their self relationship is great.

and when you love yourself you make sure you only have the best: friends you actually like and a girl you didn't settle for just cuz she was the first one to say 'yes' since the last one.

>>17868237
>>17868303

>>17868303
>but the truth was they were already happy before they met girls. they were happy before they even had friends. they could move and start over and still be the happiest guy you know because their self relationship is great.

Some of the bed adv posted on this board, if only more people followed it

>>17868303


>how to get gf

i recommend treating yourself right for a month. then going out and mingling in social situations where you can make friends. then when yuo have friends, try hitting on girls together.

that being said we dont know what you look like. are you fat and ugly? then you should probably aim for fat and/or ugly girls. a lot of guys dont understand this. they think of all girls as cute little dainty creatures, and the fat ugly ones don't exist. then they think of girls as shallow because they only hit on hot ones and the hot ones don't want to date them. its ironic.

I second the psychologist opinion. Not therapist nor psychiatrist, those are both garbage. Go to a psychologist. Their method of approach and education is much different. Personal opinion, ask them "Freud or Jung?" (pronounced yung}, if they say Freud flip them off and walk away and if they say Jung then start the conversation.

>>17868289
i'm pretty much a functional adult, is just that i don't get an income or anything because i'm a student. I don't feel like about to break, i feel lonely. Yeah, which hobbies would you recommend,? i'll try next month, i'm currently taking germans classes but the more proficient i'm the less classmates i got, also i go to the gym but i'm that one autistic dude.
I'm looking someone to love, i'm seraching for a wife-tier gf, because i feel i wan to know her before marrying her and such thing takes time.
>nothing is really impossible
I think it's for the worst, i rarely get interest in anyone, also i only feel attracted to tall girls, a 5'11" girl on mexico is pretty rare senpai

>>17868237
not bad at all, im 23 kinda in same boat. whatever happens happens man. and the assfucking; theres a difference between things that are personal and things people need to know. i wasnt assfucked tho

>>17868303
No, it wasn't rape, i agreed because i felt so lonely and my porn addiction fucked up badly with my sexual orientation. The guy wasn't that old, i was 18 and him 26--27.
Yeah i don't tell about this to anyone but close friends.
The problem is that after high school i don't know anyone, i don't go out with anyone because i barely know this persons in the university, i see most people here like 2 hours a day at most, and we're on classes.
Yeah i love myself but try going on with no friends or what so ever, literally nobody ever sees me sad or anything, i just feel down every damm weekend because it's another weekend of staying home realizing that i don't have friends or anything. Also most of my old friends are always busy, this is completely true i know they aren't lying.

>>17868353

>i love myself!!1!
>stay home all weekend

that is not loving yourself. thats insisting you arent allowed to have fun unless you're doing it with someone else. thats the opposite of self love. you are punishing yourself for being alone.

again, take this weekend. make a plan to go do a few things you'd do if you had friends.

go to an arcade (great way to meet friends btw, you can tell who is a real nerd and who is just in the area and bored pretty fast)

then go see a movie (Arrival is great FYI)

then go take yourself out for dinner. even if its a shitty fast food dinner. just pull out your phone and watch your favorite TV show while doing it or listen to some great music.

i LOVE Taing myself out to eat.


i had a date this week, claimed i was too broke from christmas to take her out for sushi. then the next day i sent her home and took myself out to sushi and ordered twice as much as i would have with her and it was amazing. great atmosphere at the restaurant too.

again, take a little time, even if just one weekend to PROVE you love yourself.

then make friends. then meet girls.

>self
>Friends
>girls

thats how it works.


as for the gay butsex, dont tell people. but if you still feel weird urges, try having sex where you're NOT the bottom, its a lot more fun.

>>17868311
i have no fucking idea how i do look like honestly.
I've been told that i'm ugly but most of the times is out of anger, not sure if anyone meant it.
Fat no, i'm ripped, not /fit/ standars of ripped but i got a better body than most of guys here.
I'm about 5'11" - 6' it depends upon how much stress my spine has, with shoes i'm taller than most.
The thing is i receive a lot of mire from many people but i don't know why, sometimes i've been talked to by girls on the gym but i don't know if they're just playing with the ugly or something else
Also i hit on tall girls, which are the manlets of the female world so i got that already going
>>17868316
What's the point of going to psychologist?
>>17868339
Noone but my best friend knows.

>>17868369

>i dont know how i look

look in a mirror. then post pics. vague descriptions don't help at all because what you just dsecribed describes millions of men who look NOTHING alike.

>>17868368
It feels bad to be the only one in cinema who is alone andI don't have a lot of interest going out anywhere, i just don't get it, however being with someone makes it interesting, i don't feel any surprise or emotion for most of whatever that happens in entertainment industry.
The last event i attended and had fun was an army fair.
>i had a date this week, claimed i was too broke from christmas to take her out for sushi. then the next day i sent her home and took myself out to sushi and ordered twice as much as i would have with her and it was amazing. great atmosphere at the restaurant too.
kek
I've done some of this things, i don't have that much interest in many things.
>>17868375
Can't, got mugged and lost cellphone

>>17868332
>which hobbies would you recommend,?
Fuck if I knew, whatever floats your boat, really. If you are into machines and stuff, you can go to a programming course. If you're into music and stuff, it applies the same way. Just try to involve yourself in an activity that requires human interaction and in which you are mildly good.

>I'm looking someone to love, i'm seraching for a wife-tier gf, because i feel i wan to know her before marrying her and such thing takes time
That, however is not as clear in your head as you may think. Most lonely people get that feeling of "needing" a gf in their lives because it ts the natural response of the brain to cope with extreme loneliness.
Try to love yourself first, then learn how to cope with others as you approach some other people and finally, when you know exactly what your pros and your flaws, only then, aim for a partner.

>I think it's for the worst
Then let it be, there is no point on even thinking about it.

>>17868386

>i have no interest in doing anything alone ever

again, you DONT LOVE YOURSELF. you need to treat yourself.

go out and do it. not begrudgingly. do it to treat yourself.

if your answer is going to be
>but i tried that once and i just want a gf now :^)

then give up. because if you can't take care of yourself no girl wants to be with you. what girl says 'wow a guy who can't stand to do anything by himself WHAT A CATCH!!1!'

>>17868388
>and in which you are mildly good.
i have no idea, i have no talents whatsoever.
>"needing"
i don't "need" one, but i would really like one
>>17868393
I do mate, but what the hell am i supposed to do if i basically hate anything around? I go to starbucks maybe once a month or so, but i don't like the movies, i don't like food also, there's literally not that many interesting things around,

>>17868403

>i dont like any movies ever
>i dont like food
>i have no talents whatsoever
>dont even know what id like to do for fun
>i love myself i just hate anything aorund me

uh huh, thats some top shelf self love mate, keep convincing yourself and you might even believe it one day.

>>17868393
If there were any strongman events around or w/e close to my area i would go, but no, the only things people do around here is
>Meet at someone's house and drink
>Go to the cinema
>Go to eat
How hard is to understand there's nothing around here that interest me?
For me is not the company, but i feel just like a parent bringing his child to wherever the child wants.
>>17868408
I do know what i'd like to do for fun, but there's no public choir or w/e where i could sing with people, i do it in my house.

>>17868412

because i DONT believe you live in a desert.

you just like to feel marginalized by the universe. we see this thread every day.

good luck OP, im sure there is going to be some girl who LOVES a guy that refuses to try anything.

>>17868403
>i have no idea, i have no talents whatsoever.
There has to be something you don't completely suck at. Even if you suck at everything, there must be something you don't suck AS MUCH at as everything else.

>i don't "need" one, but i would really like one
Thus the quotation marks

>>17868420
I actually live in a desertic city.
Wish it was my desire to feel marginalized, but you don't seem to understand that someone doesn't feel to try anything around here, this city is boring as desert. Also what the hell do you expect? Do you expect me to go to starbucks every damm day? I go sometimes but that's it, i'm not going to waste too much money on treating myself.
>>17868422
I've tried contemporary dance, shit sucks tho. I haven't tried anything, just your average nerd playing vidya and lifting.
Also i'm just trying to plan my future, i don't want a used up slut or someone too young for me

>>17868422
so, supposing i'll inevitably fail at everything, which activity is the most prone to get me friends?
dance?

>>17868442
> I haven't tried anything, just your average nerd playing vidya and lifting
Then just go to tournaments or idk.

>>17868237
>fucked in the ass by some dude
>still wants gf
Wtf? Dude you're gay.

>>17868567
wrooong
>>17868459
i'm bad as shit, also there's no tournaments here, maybe once a year or so, i always miss it

>>17868303
how can you love yourself if you don't already? You can't force yourself to love another person, how is forcing yourself to love yourself possible?

>>17868990
by believing in yourself :^)

>>17868990
its possible, be a person you can like

>>17869755
What if you dislike yourself so much that you can't work on yourself?