What's the quickest death-by-illness I can aquire at 22

>>17866149
I think avian bird flu is still a thing

>>17866149
Several kinds of flus, zika, dengue, yellow fever... but poisoning is easier to do.

>>17866153
I've eaten a fuck ton of raw and old meat (including chicken) during the past 6 months and haven't gotten as much as the shits. I know salmonella doesn't kill you but desu I'm disappointed.

How do I get bird flu and how do I ensure that my family doesn't? Inconveniencing others because of this defies the whole point.

Pneumonia

>>17866178
How do I get that?

Cancer. Increase your odds with smoking, eating processed foods, eating things cooked in the microwave, etc.

>>17866178
Okay I read up on it, the best I can do is smoke (already do) and weaken my immune system.

How the fuck do I do THAT?

if you get an illness you won't manage to wait until you die anyway, it will become unbearable and you will eventually give in and seek medical attention

just kill yourself in a normal way

>>17866207
But that will make my mom sad.

>>17866212
your death will anyway and you can make suicide look by accident, too

>>17866224
If you can think of a convincing way to do that, I'm all ears.

>>17866226
alcohol+a body of water
train+earphones
od on fentanyl

>>17866230
I'm an excellent swimmer (won't look like an accident, even if I managed), I don't want to traumatise some poor train director and inconvenience everyone (these are an epidemic every damn spring, anyway) and I have no fucking way to get access to hard drugs.

>>17866265
it doesn't matter how fucking good swimmer you are if you are blackout drunk

or, if you live in area where it's cold:
go to bar with friends, drink but don't get blacked out, but act as if you were, then leave and hide in some park between trees or something and drink more until you black out and die by hypothermia

>>17866276
I've considered the last one, but I'd REALLY prefer if it wasn't alcohol-related. Daddy drank himself to death and mom would be upset about that, too.

>>17866286
hey turd

get it through your head:
It doesn't matter why you died, only that you did. No amount of rationale will bring you back from the dead for her.

>>17866149
give you are self mercury poisoning

>>17866298
It will feel worse for her if it's an obvious suicide.

Next summer go hiking in shorts and no shirt. Go off trail, try to find where deer have beeded down or a prarie dog colony. Basically let yourself get covered in ticks and fleas, eventually you'll either get rocky moutain spotted fever, lyme disease, or the plague. Then hole up in your room and die. If you can find a place with mouse droppings you could also try crushing them with your shoe and then bending down and inhailing deeply. If you're lucky you'll get Haunta.

>>17866362
There are no mountains or prairie dogs in my country. The only parasite that the wild animals get that I don't have a vaccination for is the moose fly, which doesn't bite people at all but can cause a mild rash.

>>17866462
get a car, get out of city, call your parents at evening and say "oh i'm so tired i should sleep here but i have something to do tomorrow morning so i'll try driving back", then crash into a tree

Car crash or motorcycle crash is probably a pretty painless way to die and accidents like that happen all the time

>>17866149
Just die the slowest death possible and die of natural causes.

>>17866149
Why are you trying to go through an agonizing death? The flu is fucking torture.

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Why don't we all just kill ourselves?

You do realize because there is no afterlife, this life will be like a dream you won't remember having? Because you'll cease to exist when that happens?

I mean what's the point? I'm going to cease to exist and forget all this happened anyways and lose consciousness forever. Might as well just fucking do it. I mean I won't obviously but seriously, might as well fucking do it.

And don't get on me about there being a possibility of an afterlife. There isn't one. There is so much evidence that there isn't one that its overwhelming. Any rumor you've heard like out of body experiences or being on the other side after death are just hallucinations the brain has when its on the verge of death. After that last surge of activity that makes those hallucinations your brain dies and you cease to exist.

That is honestly why i'm going to medical school to research into anti aging technology or anti aging discoveries and ultimately try to help discover immortality before my life time is over. And honestly it should be a major priority of the entire world to get an enormous work force interested in life extension research because anything we have isn't funded very well and doesn't have enough people.

The clock is ticking.

>>17866462

I assume you're in Europe, in which case all of those diseases- or a related disease in the case of spotted fever- are found. You will not have a vaccine to any of them, and I guarantee that your country have ticks and/or fleas in nature. You have no excuse.

I've fucked up my sleeping schedule by pulling an all-nighter for uni.

It's really annoying.

>>17866191
aids?

>>17866623
>*teleports behind you

The clock is ticking.

OP dont kill yourself, human beings did not just appear at the top of the evolutionary ladder to reap the benefits of those millions of years of evolution without having to live through it.

In other words, you were those other animals. Someone had to be them.

You had to be lower animals to be a human now. You lived as all the different animals in your evolutionary line. You lived through millions of years, and millions of lives and deaths to get to where you are now. That's what Darwin's book means.

In addition to the fossil evidence, the genetic code proves that all animals, including us, evolved from bacteria over the last 700 million years on earth.

>>17866623
killing yourself is pointless, you will die physically, but you will be born into a new physical body. Being born happens, or you would not be here now. You were born into this life. It is what we know happens. There is no evidence anything else happens. True or false?
You are immortal; it is impossible to not be, because it is impossible to be conscious of being unconscious. Just that one sentence proves it. It is like these sentences: It is impossible for it to be light and dark at the same time, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. They are simple, but certain facts. The sentence "It is impossible to be conscious of being unconscious" is a simple and certain fact.

>>17866149
Why do you want to kill yourself?

>>17866149
Ebola
Go to Africa and seek out the hot spots.

Join the army, battlefield suicide.

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>>17867848
ZA WARUDO!

>>17866149
My call would be, just try to fuck your liver and/or lungs. Is it really worth dying at 22, tho? You must have been fucked up really bad if you are considering that option. I would personally suggest going to a psychiatrist first and communicate your desires of dying first, just in case you have the chance still of not making a decision you won't even be able to regret.