My kid is 4. What can I do to build up his character, his sense

>>17861922
Grab him by the pussy

What the fuck kind of response were you expecting from 4CHAN?!?!

first off, don't make him think he's gifted or smarter than the other kids.

Lord knows that fucked me up good, now I have AvPD and a complex where if my work (i.e. homework, projects, etc.) isn't 100% perfect I won't do it at all.

Encourage him to learn and foster his curiosity, but don't put that kind of false expectation upon him

>>17861922
encourage him to take pride in his ethnic heritage, unless he's non-white.

>>17861930
Isn't /adv/ one of the over-25 boards?

its a bit early for that dad
hopefully you were giving him attention and caring and safety from 0-3

he will be copying your unconscious behaviour
so if you are a bullshitting shitstain who makes up excuses for everything, he will be like you
kids are the little copies of their parents
not just genetically

lead by example

Don't give him the everone's a winner bullshit because that'll teach him not to work for anything in life.

That's basically the reason shit like the Fat Positive Movement exists.

Also make sure to really encourage him in every situation, one thing I miss from my childhood was how important it was to learn social skills. My parents never really worried about it and since I was kind of a loner I had to learn it from skretch by my self when I got older.

Also make sure to teach him general things in life and make him value knowledge.

>>17861982
I'm 18 nigger!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kill yourself in front of your son to build his character!!!!!!!!!!

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When I was in primary school and highschool, my mum never pushed me academically. She was happy so long as I was passing my classes and being a respectful and obedient student. I did these things but my grades turned out completely mediocre and crippled many of my opportunities at university.

I mean it's also my fault but without my mum breathing down my back 24/7, it was pretty easy to fall into an academic pit of mediocrity and laziness.

At 4 he's mainly just modelling off of you (although he always will be). Be a good person yourself. Some good points in this thread
>>17861967
>don't make him think he's gifted or smarter than the other kids
Talk about him positively, but not in relation to other people or children.
>>17861995
>lead by example
Be honest, admit and apologise for your mistakes, be diligent, do household chores when you should, speak well of other people. You get the idea. Be the man you want your boy to be.
>>17861997
>Don't give him the everone's a winner bullshit because that'll teach him not to work for anything in life.
Your son will fail many times in his life at many things. Teaching him that everyone's a winner is great until you leave schooling for adulthood and shit gets real.
>make sure to really encourage him in every situation
If he says he wants to try something and you think it's possible for him to achieve it,, say sure, you'll need to do [x] to do it. Then help him achieve [x] without handing it to him on a plate.


My own 2c:
Saying "you must have worked hard to do that, I'm proud of you" is good for the character; saying "you must be pretty smart/strong/cool to do that, I'm proud of you" is bad. What you want to do is have him form good habits. Working hard is a good habit, being smart is not, and attributing success with innate abilities rather than behaviour encourages complacency. Indeed, I was told how smart and special I was, which was great when I could breeze through primary and early secondary education, but not so good when I hit university. I never finished any tertiary education.

Challenge him. Taking him on hikes if that's your thing is a great way to do it, if you make sure it's manageable. It gives a sense of achievement, independence and self reliance, and reinforces that hard things can be truly rewarding.

>>17861922
Camping

Building tents/making food/etc.

Lego toys. Electronic arduino toolsets. Board games.

Chess(harder to learn but easier to get good enough) or Go (more simpler to learn but much more harder to master)

Ofcourse these must all be reinforced with something positive (more camping/their choice of toys to buy (from your pick))

>>17862283
Also do not ever do what >>17862065 guy's parent did.

Always make sure your kid is pushed to his curiosity/intellect. Never compliment too much else they will slack off and think they're "smart enough".

You never want your child to think they're smart enough. That will lead to failure. Keep them thinking you're smarter than them and keep them thinking they're dumb (through harder challenges).

A good lesson in life is to always have an "open mind" when learning stuff. I know that word is a buzzword, but the real meaning is that the kid must always examine each/situation with a inquisitive/curious mindset rather than be dismissive/assumptive of things. They can start being assumptive/dismissive after enough facts have been gathered, not before.

Martial arts in a serious gym, probably best if you wait until 6, but by 4 it's already possible

I started at 5 in judo and I can't measure how much it helped me as a person. It helps a lot that the teacher was great and also introduced a lot of tales and philosophy (although that happened at a much later age). It will also teach him that there's only improvement through effort and that he's not unbeatable, but also helping to build his confidence. Jiu jitsu might be a good art too.

Obviously, avoid all martial arts that involve contundence (karate, muay thai, etc) as not only they are much more dangerous but also mess up with his physical development. Those are best from 12~14 on

>>17861922
Love him. That is all a kid of 4 wants or needs - the absolute security that there is a place where he is loved.

dont let him play vidya, listen to rap, or watch shitty movies

also be careful he doesnt hang out with shitters

Anything with basic learning skills that he can retain. At that age, probably playing catch, or having him take out the trash once a week if it's a path he's physically capable of handling.

Simple board games you could help him learn basic skills from, charisma can get great boosts from communicating in monopoly, and he'd learn basic counting and financial management.

The answer is definitely to aggressively try to shape him into what you want him to be instead of just being there for support and allowing him to develop and come into his own

Do not allow him to go on 4chan
force him to visit some kind of social activity depending on what he likes

>>17862357
>dont let him play vidya

ya enjoy your kid growing up resenting you and eventually rebelling

>>17862648
lol dipshit.

He can't resent OP if he doesn't know what playing games is like to begin with. Plenty of kids grow up without games in their lives. They're better off than us that play games... You can play games and read books, don't get me wrong but there's also nothing wrong with not letting your child play games.

no cell phone, no tv on school nights, set a bedtime, give them a routine, make sure they're always doing something constructive if they're awake

give them chores to do on the weekend like cleaning, washing dishes, etc.

fill any additional downtime they have with reading, or get them into violin/piano and make them practice an hour/day minimum

make them pay attention to you when you're in the kitchen, encourage them to cook as they get older and make cooking into a chore.

30 minutes/day of non-school related monitored internet usage
I presume you know what sites to block

and most importantly, physically punish them if they challenge you. give them and inch and all of your hard work will be for naught. they will be incapable of fostering resentment towards you if you break them properly.

>>17862658
He will grow up surrounded by kids that game. He'll play them at his friends houses, they'll talk about them, he'll know what they are. And not being able to relate to this will affect his abilities to socialise.

Telling your kids not to play game is like telling them not to drink. Its better to educate about how to do it responsibly than just create a blanket ban that they will rebel against and resent you for.

>>17862671
You act like gaming is life lol... Again there's plenty of kids who grow up without playing video games. There ARE other forms of entertainment. In fact they do make games that aren't of the video game variety. Just because you grew up entrenched in video games doesn't mean all kids have to.

Look I've been playing video games for almost 30 years. I'm not some anti-video game nut. I knew kids growing up that didn't play video games because their parents didn't keep them in the house. They grew up to be perfectly normal functioning adults. They didn't rebel cause muh games.

>>17862697
>I've been playing games for about 30 years

Things have changed since you were a kid. Almost all kids game now. Its a massive part of childhood.

Sure, you should encourage them to look for other hobbies but just simply banning them will do more harm than good.

http://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/91-percent-of-kids-play-video-games-says-study/

>>17862720
I have nephews that I've watched grow up. One set is in college and the others are in elementary school. I understand things are different. My 4 year old nephew plays on his parents smartphone, and I see kids his age all the time playing on them or tablets.

We can argue about this all day. Frankly we're both right. It just depends on the parents, the kids, and the environment. You can raise a kid today without games and have them not resent you though.

Limit the time he spends sitting alone staring at screens. Get him involved in sports or other group activities early so he's used to socializing and doesn't end up coming to places like this.

>>17861922
Make sure he knows the world isn't fair. That people do bad things and are rewarded and people do good things and aren't or get punished even, that some people just want to make you sworn, some just want to see the world burn, some want to leave behind a better world. No one deserves what happens to them, and no one "has it coming." And you don't deserve good things to happen to you just because you had a shitty childhood. Eliminate any sign of the "just world fallacy" from existence in your child's mind. I'm a self-entitled brat because of religious old ladies and the media instilling the just world fallacy in me. And even though I realize this now, in the back of my mind…I still feel like the world owes me something for the shit I've been through and shit I'm going through now.

Do encourage him to do good things though, just not expect a tangible reward for doing them. The reward is reducing the suffering in someone else's life, even if they don't realize it immediately or are ungrateful. Do make sure he doesn't think this is a free license to do bad things and hurt others though, as the message could easily be lost.

Beat his ass

>>17861995
If that's the case then why did I turn out to be such a failure?!!!!!!!!

Be a loving dad, while still showing clear boundaries. Teach him healthy habits like eating his vegetables and playing sports. (If he doesnt like it tell him to try anyway, most of the time kids don't like new tastes. When you tell him to atleast eat 6 full bites of his food, he'll get over it. If not, he actually doesn't like thaat food yet.)

>>17861922
Do activities with him and teach him how to do things. How to use tools, fix a lawnmower, build things, work with computers. Teach him the value and reward of working on something.

>>17861967
i have the same problem but i was told the opposite: nothing i was doing was right and i was dumb anyway

>>17863676
This.
With a belt preferably.

>>17861922

1. There is no God
2. There are no rules
3. Eat your broccoli unless you wanna become a confused-gendered sissy. Broccoli eliminates excess estrogen that's everywhere nowadays.
4. If someone hits you, beat the shit out of them. Beat your son up often so he doesn't fear pain.
5. Tell him that what he studies in school is meaningless, but he should do it anyway, otherwise you'll beat his ass.
6. By age 7 he should already have beaten up his first victim. By that age he should already have had a pretend-girlfriend.
7. By age 10 he should know all about sex. By age 13-14 he should have fucked his first bitch. By age 16 he should have his first job. If he doesn't, beat his ass, give him $300 and send him to the other side of the country to work his way back.

>>17861922
If he ends up being smart, focus on congratulating him for hard work, not for being "smart"

Remember, positive reinforcement literally works better than negative reinforcement. If he doesn't receive positive reinforcement, he will flip his mind around and seek negative reinforcement instead since it's better than zero attention. Be an active part of his life

Have weekly discussions of what's going on at school and keep this up, even if he doesn't seem to be interested. Every week without fail make sure to ask him "Anon let's have a serious chat, is anything wrong, are you being bullied, do you want me to do something else? Is there a hobby you want to pursue?" and ask it truthfully and be willing to follow up. This is NOT hard. Be a good parent

Compliment him when he's working hard, say "Nice job son keep up the good work". Fucking say it, it's not hard, and it really helps

Realize how malleable and sensitive the minds of children and even teenagers are. Yeah you're an adult parent, but you need to remember back to what it was like and have empathy. Girlfriends can feel like the end of the world, like the most important part of the world. Don't talk shit

Don't talk shit about your kid ever.

>>17865807
Also like another anon said, MAKE SURE he learns social skills

It doesn't matter if he gets all As if he has no friends. Make sure to ALWAYS let him to go friends houses don't be an overprotective parent. Be cautious but don't be fucking overly cautious. Let him have friends, encourage him to have friends, don't fucking complain when he wants to have friends over

This is literally the most important thing you can do to make sure he doesn't end up on fucking /adv/ asking how to stop thinking about killing himself. IT'S IMPORTANT ANON.

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>>17862324
This