tl;dr girl i'm having sex with says she really likes me

If you weren't exclusive then her fucking that guy shouldn't matter but liars will always be liars think about that before getting in a relationship with this woman

>>17860256
Yeah i knew it was my problem that i felt jealous but what bothers me is that she was lying about it, which means she's trying to hide it, and that could be one of many. but i beat around the bush a little and asked in a roundabout way and she said she wasn't lying about anything, and when i pressed she got offended that i was calling her a liar. and obviously i can't say i read her texts.

>>17860248
yeah she's not acting weird because she likes you but because she is fucking that guy and lying to you about it.

If you want her as a fwb just shut up and admit to yourself she lies about fucking other people but if you want her for more you are going to get your heart ripped out if you continue

>>17860248
>but found out she's lying
terminate relationship immediately, engage no contact protocol
there is no benefit from associating with dishonest people. who knows what else shes lying about? also you should get tested

>>17860256
>/thread

Monogamy isn't needed for honesty, but honesty is needed for monogamy

If she is already lying to you without needing, imagine when she feels pressured to do so in a relationship

>>17860292
that's what i was afraid of, but everyone who were mutual with has been saying things like that, that she really likes me and whatnot so it's hard to really pinpoint.

>>17860303
OP this anon put it correctly. She's lying already

>>17860435
She doesn't like you enough to stop fucking other guys and lying to you about it though you are only fwb. She ditched you one night to fuck him. Open your eyes

Anyway, when most people start to care about someone they just stop fucking other people no matter if it is official or not and they sure don't lie to mislead you as she has. She's made you bit of a fool.

>>17860248
Didn't we already have this thread but you mentioned that you are coworkers with this girl and dude?

File: 1477089008548-2.gif (3MB, 309x313px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 309x313px

>>17860248

You weren't exclusive. You don't have any right to be upset with her about the sex. If you wanted a say in her sex life you should of committed to her.

She lied to you. Being lied to isn't fun or good and I'm not saying you have no right to be upset but you need to consider the mechanics of the situation.

She lied to you about having sex with this guy but in reality, the sex really isn't the issue because you aren't her boyfriend. I think that you're upset she had sex with this guy and you're using the lying as a reason to hold on to your anger.

You want her for yourself but you don't want to commit. You don't want to date her but you don't want her to have sex with her either.

You need to figure out what you want. Its obvious she lied to you because she likes you and knew you would stop seeing her if she told you the truth but a lie is a lie and now you know she can't be trusted.

I think your mistake here was putting an emphasis on her needing to be truthful about something that was frankly none of your business.

Decide what you want and then proceed accordingly because right now you want a girlfriend who isn't your girlfriend and your unrealistic expectations are causing problems.

>>17860248
the last girl who said she was being distant because she really liked me faked orgasms, left me on Christmas, and I can't fucking stand

actually that's the only girl who ever said such a simplistic, stupid and contradictory bit of bullshit

>>17860626
The point is that there's absolutely no fucking reason to lie about it. They weren't exclusive, so there's nothing wrong with sleeping with the other guy.

He has every right to be annoyed that she lied to him about that, some people might only be comfortable in an exclusive benefits situation, and if she's saying she really likes him, he does have a right to know.

What she did was wrong, no matter how you frame it.

>>17860637

>The point is that there's absolutely no fucking reason to lie about it.

"For a few months she's been acting a little more distant and she says it's becuase she really likes me, and feels dumb becuase i don't seem to like her the same way."

She likes him and is trying to use this FWB thing as a platform for getting him into a relationship. That's the reason she lied. I'm not justifying it all I'm just saying thats the reason.

>He has every right to be annoyed that she lied to him about that

Its more like half of a right. He has a right to be upset that she lied but not to be upset about what she lied about. If she's just some girl he's fucking and he doesn't care enough about her to be exclusive then I'm curious as to why he even cares at all.

>some people might only be comfortable in an exclusive benefits situation

A close friend of the opposite sex who you have who you have sex with who isn't allowed to have sex with anyone else?

You've just described a relationship, dude. That's not FWB in the slightest.

>What she did was wrong, no matter how you frame it.

This has nothing to do with "framing". I explicitly said in my post that it wasn't cool that she lied but that doesn't mean I'm not also going to point out OP's mistakes in this situation. They both fucked up.

>>17860656
>She likes him and is trying to use this FWB thing as a platform for getting him into a relationship. That's the reason she lied. I'm not justifying it all I'm just saying thats the reason.

Let me rephrase what I said. There's no excuse to lie. It's simply being dishonest for the sake of dishonesty.

>He has a right to be upset that she lied but not to be upset about what she lied about

Sure, I agree with that, I think they're two completely different things though. He has a right to be upset that she lied.

>You've just described a relationship, dude. That's not FWB in the slightest.

Have you ever been in a situation like that? FWB is essentially an extremely light relationship, it's not just two people who don't give a shit about each other having sex, it's not a hookup.

It is a form of relationship, just without the same level of commitment, and as such it can come in all different forms, from just below what a relationship is, to just above what a hookup is. Same as an actual relationship ranges from just sort of lightly dating and spending time together to living together, telling each other everything and essentially living one life.

> I explicitly said in my post that it wasn't cool that she lied but that doesn't mean I'm not also going to point out OP's mistakes in this situation. They both fucked up.

But OP didn't fuck up at all. He's annoyed she lied about something with the intent of manipulating him (which this is, changing his perception of her via lying).

if you want to save face
>"i'm sorry, i just don't see this relationship going anywhere."
>break up and taper contact over 3 months

if you want to burn everything and bust your revenge nut
>fuck her
>"I know you're lying, I read your texts" as you nut
>leave while she's in tears/yelling

>>17860816
>if you want to burn everything and bust your revenge nut
>>fuck her
>>"I know you're lying, I read your texts" as you nut
>>leave while she's in tears/yelling

this is what i'm going to do.

>>17860776

>Let me rephrase what I said. There's no excuse to lie.

Well, thats not exactly true. Deception isn't as black and white as "no excuse ever". Some lies are worse than others and sometimes lies can contribute to the greater good. I don't think what she did was right but I'm not going to pretend like life can be boiled down to such a simple metric.

>Have you ever been in a situation like that?

Yes, I have. Its called dating.

>It is a form of relationship, just without the same level of commitment, and as such it can come in all different forms

I disagree. I've never met anyone in an "exclusive friends with benefits" situation who was dumb enough to think that they weren't dating. Maybe you're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet but it is most certainly dating.

I don't know anybody who couldn't put that together. I'm not saying that makes you dumb or anything, maybe we just live in different social climates but regardless, what you're saying doesn't make any sense to me.

>But OP didn't fuck up at all. He's annoyed she lied about something with the intent of manipulating him (which this is, changing his perception of her via lying).

Yes, he did. He already stated that the thought of this girl sleeping with another guy "made him sick". He is basically trying to manipulate this situation so that he has a girl he doesnt want to commit to that he can fuck and no one else. He's using her feelings for him to keep her in this situation where he gets to keep having sex with her.

I'm not saying I haven't done the same thing, I'm just saying when the situation blows up in your face and you actually start catching feelings at least have the balls to admit that you overplayed your hand.

>He's annoyed she lied about something with the intent of manipulating him

Yet, the truth remains that if this was some girl he didn't like enough to date but just wanted to have sex with like he claims then the fact that she tried to "manipulate" him should mean nothing.

>>17861242
> Deception isn't as black and white as "no excuse ever". Some lies are worse than others and sometimes lies can contribute to the greater good. I don't think what she did was right but I'm not going to pretend like life can be boiled down to such a simple metric.

No shit? I'm talking about this situation, there's no excuse for telling that lie.

>Yes, I have. Its called dating.

So it's a no then?

>I don't know anybody who couldn't put that together. I'm not saying that makes you dumb or anything, maybe we just live in different social climates but regardless, what you're saying doesn't make any sense to me.

Dating is an emotional commitment. Friends with benefits doesn't have the same emotional commitment, but can absolutely just be something they're only doing with one person for a period of time. This could just as simply be for safety reasons.

A relationship isn't defined by sex at all, you can be in a relationship without it.

> He already stated that the thought of this girl sleeping with another guy "made him sick"

He then said
> but i thought it didn't matter becuase were not exclusive

He knows they weren't exclusive and seemed fine with that until she started saying she was getting feelings for him.

>Yet, the truth remains that if this was some girl he didn't like enough to date but just wanted to have sex with like he claims then the fact that she tried to "manipulate" him should mean nothing.

You're ignoring the point. Friends with benefits is not just a hookup, it is a very casual form of a relationship.

Obviously there's a level of emotion involved, that level of emotion is there for everyone, it's why people so often get stronger feelings, because they're exposing themselves to that connection and emotion repeatedly.

Someone trying to manipulate you and pull you into having more feelings for them based on a lie is always a shitty thing to do, especially when you have a level of trust established with them.

>>17861297
I would stop replying to the other anon. They clearly don't understand the grasp of the scenario or is limited in their experience, almost sympathizing with the girl. I agree with what you've said thus far