Thread replies: 6
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
File: Golan 20161106_165719.jpg (57KB, 512x512px) Image search:
[Google]
57KB, 512x512px
Background:
I have an abusive father that i finally cut contact with. My mom got cancer. Its a tough time, but on top of that, i discovered im almost alone. It makes me really depressed.
Im usually very positive and high energy, always with people around me, friends and family alike.
I can make contact very easily. When I'm at the gym or just outside whatever. With guys and girls. I tried dating and can easily attract women. But im religious and have experienced that i would need a religious wife to be happy. So ill be patient untill i find her. And im not rushed to find her also.
The thing is that I cannot find a real friend or bro.
Whenever i start contact with a guy, this leads to laughs, phone exchange, hangouts, game etc. But it doesnt go more then that.
When we chilled a couple of times and i start talking about deep shit, like what problems im facing and how i try dealing with it. Or showing interest in their deeper feelings.
I get the feeling they get annoyed. They close up or change th e subject. They only want to chill and be shallow, not support each other like real friends/bros.
Now i am struggling for two months with the aforementioned difficulties im facing and not one of the people around me ask me anything.
I realised that i was the one organising the chill evenings with the friends. None of them contact me now that i dont take the initiative... Even my family cousins who i used to chill and have deep talks with, dont talk to me.
I feel like all of my years were fake because they only had contact when i served it on a platter: arranged everything and they probably had nothing better to do.
A gf is nice, but i feel mostly lonely because i have no real bonds with people except for my mom and one uncle.
I keep relapsing because i feel like shit. i even spend 1000's on escorts to feel fucking cuddles.
I don't even need a gf, i can have patience to find a good one to be my wife. But i can't go through without real bros..
How to deal with this?
>>
Buuump
>>
>>17848968
the best way to make a true friend is to have a common goal and experience.
When you look at military men, they're deeply loyal and close to their platoons. Not just because they went through bootcamp together, but they shared the battle experience and probably had the same struggles in life: death of a fellow soldier, regret for killing someone, joy of winning a battle, etc.
If you want a real friend, try creating a goal for yourself and attach yourself to people with that shared goal. The true friends will be the friends who work with you to achieve both your goals together. Through this, youll be able to get to those deep conversations, because you already have history together.
Your mistake OP is that you're the initiator, every time. If you keep initiating "chill evenings," you wont be able to tell who is a true friend as they have no opportunity to show you whether they want to hang out with you. To them, you're just the hookup for a good time every once in a while.
Try climbing or martial arts, OP. I did Taekwondo for 16 years and some of the friends I made are still with me, even if they didn't like my decision to stop practicing Taekwondo
>>
>>17849361
Yeah youre right!
Thanks for clarifying the obvious. Its good to hear it clear.
Im going to try connect with people with common goals, and let them take initiative also.
>>
>>17849378
Find a goal for yourself first. It needs to authentic and it needs to be a relatively big goal.
Find people who share the same goal as you. If your goal isnt authentic, you will feel fake and it will be torture if you find yourself close to your new friends.
Do not go around and ask people what their goals are without you having some experience in that goal
>>
File: 1433905725837.png (67KB, 350x338px) Image search:
[Google]
67KB, 350x338px
>>17848968
>How to deal with this?
by becoming stoic , meditation helps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaNO09cPS6c&spfreload=1
Thread posts: 6
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2