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Is it psychologically harmful to need fantasies to mediate between yourself and society as a whole?
For example, for years now I've been basically playing a character whenever I'm around people who, I feel, won't get me. Instead of being my shy loser self around normies, I just pretend I'm an actor playing a confident, outgoing character, and I assume habits and mannerisms that aren't my own, but that people respond well to.
Another example is that when it comes to doing regular shit, I always pretend I'm some sort of spy or agent sent to infiltrate a place or milieu, and that I need to blend in and learn their ways. That's the only way I can realistically fake interest in my work and the sort of shit people like to talk about. So if people around me are really into a certain sport or a certain genre music, I just pretend I need to learn about them and to fool them as part of a spying job, instead of trying to have genuine interest in any of it.
I'm completely aware that this is pathetic autistic shit, and I'm ok with it, but can it hurt me psychologically? Am I down the path to become essentially a sociopath with no real affinity to the world around me? Should I just try to fit in regularly instead?
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>>17846392
are you trying to convince us or yourself?
everyone puts on a 'front' with new people. we only show a glimmer of our true personalities. becuase we are all complex, and not in the cool way, in a weird way.
my older brother was this macho alpha chad thundercock kind of guy. 6 foot tall, muscled, always the most popular guy in school. and i mean legit popular, like everyone loved him.
anyways, when he was home and didnt know i was in the other room he'd make out with our dog and let her hump his leg for hours at a time.
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>>17846398
he'd also purposely distend his stomach to look pregnant and walk around screaming pretending to have birthing pains when our parents were home.
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>>17846402
one time he just ran around the house in his underwear (at the age of 17) doing the chicken dance.
things he would never do in front of friends much less in situations with new people.
what im trying to say with all this OP is tha tall of us put on an act. dont rationalize it by saying 'IM SO FUCKING WEIRD THAT I HAVE TO PRETEND'.
you're pretending to pretend to rationalize why you pretend.
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This thread is fucking awesome. Everyone should continue posting the weirdest shit they do when alone to help the OP.
I get a long with people fairly well but when I am home alone or with my girlfriend I sing what's happening like an opera singer. I sound legit as fuck too.
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>>17846398
>anyways, when he was home and didnt know i was in the other room he'd make out with our dog and let her hump his leg for hours at a time.
Why would he make this a secret? Dogs fucking legs are hilarious
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When into a crowded area where I think people will look at me I pretend I have an important message for the president that I need to get to him that only I can deliver
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>>17846480
because hes not the funny guy. hes the alpha. humor comes at others expense.
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