/adv/ how the hell do you beat social anxiety? In my past i was

I had the same problem and the same past (bullied in school/emarginated) and developed social anxiety and trust issues. I beat the anxiety by going alone to places full of people, like the mall or in the populated streets. The first times i forced myself to bear the discomfort, but now i don't feel pressure when I'm around people. I'm not 100% cured but i definitely live better.

As for the trust issues i'm not sure i fixed them, i fucked up a relationship because of my insecurities. But most of the times i fight them with cynicism and generally "i couldn't care less" attitude. Works for a while and gives you time and space to focus on yourself and honing your skills.

Hope this helps

>>17844045
I hope so too anon. I go to crowded places all of the time but i still feel paranoid so maybe i have to switch up my thoughts when im there

Social anxiety can only really be cured by putting yourself in situations that make you feel uncomfortable and realizing that they aren't as bad as you built them up to be, ie. going to a party, speaking to new people, and so on. Just push yourself out of your comfort zone bit by bit and it will slowly get easier.
As for trust issues, that's a little harder as I'm still not there myself. It gets a bit easier for me to open up and let myself go when I get to know someone well enough, but even then it's a struggle. You just have to recognize that there are people who care about your wellbeing, but everyone is flawed and open to making mistakes.
Bear in mind that I'm no expert, I'm just going on my own experiences.

>>17844076
The exposure part would be infinitely easier if i could quit obsessively thinking that everyone immediately thinks im weird

>>17844045
>I had the same problem and the same past (bullied in school/emarginated) and developed social anxiety and trust issues. I beat the anxiety by going alone to places full of people, like the mall or in the populated streets. The first times i forced myself to bear the discomfort, but now i don't feel pressure when I'm around people. I'm not 100% cured but i definitely live better.

This is actually some really good advice.

I've noticed before that places like that really tend to drain my energies, particularly the mall. It definitely has something to do with social anxiety, insecurity, the feeling of being judged and all that. If you can get used to it, it's progress.

>>17844111
Its not really a fear of crowds its moreover friendships and relationships. Now obviously if a person is already your friend theyve accepted you but in my mind im always on the defensive like the more someone knows about me the higher the risk of losing that person and i dont want anyone losing respect for me

>>17844106
This is just something that gets easier with time, unfortunately. If you put yourself in social situations frequently, you'll find that it gets easier to relax and get out of your head. Plus if you're a social retard like me, then it's good conversational practice and the experience will help you to stop dropping your spaghetti as often.

>>17844134
Yeah i guess practice doesn't hurt. It's annoying to miss out on possible relationships because of autism but oh well it cant be helped i guess

>>17844106
Mate trust me i had chronic social anxiety for a good 5 years, no one gives a shit about you or what you do. I know its hard at the start to think this thought but its the reality. Most people have so much shit going on in their life that they just don't care about some random person. Unless you're doing hoola hoops naked with your shoes on your hands trust me no one will notice you. Now when you're with people who know you apply the same thought but understand that People will judge you, you cant help it, everybody judges everybody, always remember though they'll soon forget. Again unless you're doing something really fucking odd no one really gives a fuck. Just because you have an opinion doesn't make you weird. Don't miss out on opportunities anon, because the regret can fuck you up. Good luck.

>>17844174

Pretty much this. Even if we notice you did something, that thought will persist for like... a day. Two. You'll only be super memorable in their lifetime if you somehow brightened their terrible day by some stupid thing you did that one time (ie: naked hula hoops).

Most of us are so wrapped up in our own lives that we're not paying much attention to other people's. The average joe has at least a family and some friends to juggle around, plus anything they want to do with themselves. Most don't have the time to worry about that one person at random.

Social anxiety is unfortunately a self-constructed cage, and only you've got the key.