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I'm 21 and have a three week old son...
Drifting in and out of depression ever since he was born. I can see a happy side to this but I can't help think the odds are against me.
Can't even get along with my girlfriends kind and helpful family members because I'm so emotional and mindfucked everything bothers me when I visit her house to help her and they are around all the time.
Me and her don't really connect on a deep level and share our thoughts honestly.. which is troubling
just 2 years ago I was beginning to accept the fact that I was a crappy selfish insecure person and that I was probably just going to pursue my shallow interests for the rest of my life and hopefully someday get the pleasures and comfort I thought I deserved.
and now I'm suddenly responsible for an innocent baby's happiness or misery. I know what having a fucked up childhood does to people, my dad had an abusive alcoholic for a father and to this day I've never seen such a good person in so much pain.
anyway I've got tears in my eyes and i don't even know where I'm going with this but if anyone has any advice or knows where to go for some I could use it.
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>>17843933
Listen to me OP. That little boy needs his dad as much as his mother. More in some situations. ITs not easy, its not simple, but the good things in life never are. I absolutly swear to you that the moment that little guy gives you the biggest gummy grin you have ever seen IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT.
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>>17843945
thanks for the words, I'll try to keep that in my mind
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Hi op,
Please don't take this the wrong way, but perhaps it would be worthwhile to consider speaking with your doctor about a referral for counseling or medication.
It's the holiday season which is incredibly depressing on its own for most and you're experiencing a major life event that is understandably overwhelming. It's okay to get some help adjusting and you deserve to have your brain on your side through this transition.
Please consider it. Also, try not to borrow tomorrow's problems. They will be there when you get there and right now you should take this time to get to know your child. Parenthood is scary, but it is undoubtedly rewarding and this is a good time to bond and adjust. It's a big change but you can handle it.
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just a bump before I pass out in case anyone wants to say something I can read in the morning
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>Me and her don't really connect on a deep level and share our thoughts honestly.. which is troubling
As an older fag let me tell you that this is mostly the rule of relationships instead of the exception, and that it's a lot better to have it this way than anything resembling the idealize, romantic, "soulmates" type of arrangement, which only tends to inject chaos and suffering into your life. And if you struggle with real depression already, they can really break you.
It's way, way more important to have a relationship with as little conflict as possible and with mutual understanding and respect, even if your love and affinity towards her are not as intense and deep as you wish they could be. So work towards that instead of letting your idea of what a real love with real passion and real connection stop you from appreciating what you have and trying to improve it. That's literally all I can say because I know fuck all about being a dad. Sorry.
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