good morning /adv/ i come to you all today with something i

>>17837925
>>17837925
at that very moment, for some reason, i was unable to feel feelings. i no longer thought that i could say i loved her, or that i could be there with her and it be out of pleasure, but instead out of necessity because of course i didnt feel anything at the time and i dont know why. i was in and out of a panic attack from the hunger and i felt odd for the rest of the day, up to the point where i had to force myself to sleep because i felt so abnormal.

here i am the next morning and i still have the same feeling of detachment, but again let me stress that i'm also still recovering from yesterdays panic and i do not feel complete. i do not feel in a state to make rational decisions yet i feel so detached and i dont know why.

there's no way i don't like her anymore. it has to just be a byproduct of my mental instability, right? i'm convincing myself i obviously share the same degree of feelings i had for her because i keep putting myself in scenarios where i tell her i'm leaving her or that i dont like her anymore and i can't take it. i'd probably fucking kill myself after it. i will never run into someone as perfect as her again, someone that fits my every need and is such a complete utter fucking doll, /adv/.

if you've read this far, i'm grateful for your time, i really am. i've been mashing all this away in a tearful fury because i just i need to fucking do something about this. i love her and my brain flipped a fucking switch that i can't locate to flip back on. it's fucking bullshit. there is no way this is a natural feeling that is supposed to happen, i need this woman in my life, and her fragile little heart begs for me.

obviously i'll be here to reply to you guys. thank you for reading this and even if you cant formulate a reply (which i get, again, this has composed like a piece of fuck), i appreciate you at least being aware i'm like this. thank you.

pic related is a fantastic album helping me compose this right now

too-good-to-be-true flavored fears preemptively fucking things up so you can be in control of what you subconsciously perceive to be the inevitable maybe??

>>17837983
that's what i'm thinking are one of the few only possibilities i can think of man. i sincerely hope it's just me reacting to the fact she's perfect and that i'll get over it soon, or maybe it just takes a day to myself to think about us. i pray to god it's not a negative inevitability. i need her in my life.

>>17837929

It seems like you're overthinking this and preparing yourself for inevitable failure. You're focusing too much on this temporary feeling and finding ways to prove yourself right.

In the past year, I met somebody who I fell completely in love with. He's my best friend, the most amazing person I know and we're such a good match, it's unreal. I'm almost 30 and this is the first time I've actually felt what being in love with somebody feels like.

In the beginning, I did exactly the same as you. If I ever felt bad or detached, I'd instantly assume it was indicative of the relationship. I'd convince myself that it was all a big lie to myself, I'd built it up and it wasn't worth anything. I soon realised why I was doing this - it was because I loved this person so much that I couldn't imagine how bad I'd feel if it ended. I also couldn't believe my luck that they wanted to be with me and cared as much as I cared about them.

Over time, this feeling has subsided. I still take a minute to think about how lucky I am to know him, but I try and keep in mind that there might be days when things feel different. It doesn't mean anything though, it's just a temporary blip that can be related to many different things and just manifest itself in your relationship.

It sounds like you have found a wonderful thing. Don't over-complicate things and don't put yourself under undue pressure. Enjoy it for what it is and things will develop naturally.

>>17838032
anon, i can't thank you enough for telling me all this. what you described is a carbon copy of what i am experiencing right now. i'm really just emotional as shit reading this, i'm so, so, so happy you get me. even though i still obviously am feeling the temporary too-good-to-be-true thing, i find limitless reassurance in this. i'll probably save this in a screenshot or something or in a word doc if you don't mind, i'm really, really going to need this. it is seldom i express my emotions to anyone, even over here through anonymity. thank you, sincerely.

if i may ask, did you ever have a coping mechanism for the feeling of detachment and dread? i'm scared of feeling this way again because it's probably going to happen a lot as you said and i just want to be prepared, especially since it seems what your man is to you is what my woman is to me, and that anything you say probably applies 100% to me right now.

again, thank you just so much. i needed this.

>>17838051

Sorry for the late reply anon.

I just told my partner openly about my concerns. Fortunately for me, he's extremely affection and honest, so he makes me feel at ease.

In addition to this, I just kind of accepted it. There is a chance that he could leave and completely break my heart. It doesn't matter how great things are, how amazing we are as a couple, or how arrogant I am about myself - people change and relationships breakdown. It's a matter of making the most of it, trying to keep a hold on your emotions and your self doubt and just putting everything into making her and yourself happy.

You have to break the cycle though and try not to dwell on your feelings. As soon as you get that feeling of dread, force yourself to think about something else, such as the last time you laughed together, or a really romantic moment. It's easy to forget WHY you're with someone and why they're with you - keep this in mind and it'll help things develop :)

I met the same girl bro. Beats me in every game, 10/10 voice acting and It's a huge interest of mine, and as hot and amazing as she was she was taken. And it hurt a freaking tonn when we had to let each other go and we don't speak again.

Had I come 2 months earlier when she didn't have her "best friend/more than friend" we could have been something. But that is just an assumption, now I can never get her back, and that's okay. It's a necessary thing.

Long distance relationships are a bad idea to start with anyhow.

I wish you good luck though - person who was in LDR's for 4 years.

>>17837925
she either wants a relationship or shes hprny and lonely. hard to tell since rich vs gamer

>>17837925
1. You're idolizing her too much, and it's not healthy. She's a human being with flaws and putting her on a 10/10 pedestal only stresses you out and puts pressure on her to step up.

> she's obsessed with me and i love her possessiveness of me
2. That's bad, no one should be so possessive and obsessed with one person - love isn't about being possessive, it's about supporting each other. Maybe you're just writing dramatic but if you are sure this is happening, it might make you vulnerable to later emotional abuse.

3. You have low self esteem. If you're idolizing her and not thinking you're worthy of her, it means you haven't fulfilled your meaning as a person. What do you want to get out of the world OP? What are some of your goals?

>>17838736
sorry, i was in a pretty tense fit when i was typing up the OP. yes, i'm well aware of her flaws, as is she. she constantly reminds me how upset she is with herself concerning her past, and how she always feels like she has to overcome potential shortcomings on a daily basis. i hate to make it seem like she's idolized; she knows her flaws, and i know mine. and honestly possessiveness was probably an awful word to use. what i intended to illustrate was how happy she seems to have me. anywhere we go, she's always like "hey, meet my boyfriend ____" and she's just.. done so many things that makes it obvious she's committed and not putting herself out there as someone not taken or spoken for. it's something i've never experienced before. i feel loved completely for once, instead of having to be the one dishing out most the effort.

i do have low self esteem on a physical level, kinda compared to her though rather than myself. i'm pretty average, but she's just a goddess.

i'm trying what i can to get what i want out of the world, anon. i really am. there are so many things i'm working on to make progress with (getting in shape, academic life together, recording music, working out) that i've been proud to put at the forefront of my mind daily.

>>17838415
no worries for replying late haha honestly i just appreciate you even being here - over the past few hours, your reply has done a lot for me. i'm a good amount "over" my initial dread-attack-thing thanks to you, as well as some other anons i asked for relaxation and stuff because god i was dying for a while there lol

i could probably bring this up to her, i'm still debating whether i should just give her the spiel or just simmer way the hell down - she already saw a fraction of this unstable side to me yesterday, and she was completely, utterly fine with it, even telling me that it made me seem more human than before, and that it only attracted her more.

i guess you're just completely right. it really helps a lot thinking about what her and i have done rather than what i'm fearing we can't do. your man is infinitely lucky to have you. i wish i personally knew more people like you, with your understanding and your levelheadedness, anon. i sincerely, purely hope you always find your happiness and meet your goals - whether that is with your current partner, or elsewhere, or anything not romantic. you're great.

>>17838781
If that's the case, then I think you'll be just fine.
I personally 99% of the time don't get romantic interest from people and on the off chance I do, I have a visceral aversion to them out of shock and fear. You might just not be acclimatized to this new love. You love your friends and family, correct? It's not all-consuming, all of the time.

You might just be going from being anxious and having butterflies from your first love to a more normal equilibrium.

If you still feel like it's unusual, I'm unsure of your history but it sounds like escapism and depersonalization. In that regard, it might be a byproduct from living in a western country. Have you turned do something for long periods of comfort before, almost compulsively? (Like computers, weed, working out, etc).

>>17838789

What a lovely person you are - I'm really glad that my reply helped you out. I remember having this experience so clearly and it was awful!

I'd advise bringing it up as early as you can then trying your best to manage your reactions in future. It's great to be aware of it but it's also easy to fall into the cycle of getting yourself into an almighty panic and then turning to your girlfriend to try and fix it. This tends to cause dependancy which has no place in a successful and long term relationship - which is clearly what this is for you :)

Best of luck anon.

>>17838833
i apologize for the delay, hopefully you come back.

i'm the same way, as far as you not finding interest 99% of the time. i'd argue that i could potentially be worst - the last few hookups i've had have wanted to start a relationship most the time and i didn't think twice about just telling them i don't care. it has been... over 3 years? since i've had a long-term relationship (year(s) long) and i've just dated and flung myself at random.

before i met her, i was totally set against all the bullshit of "continuing on our species" or whatever, and finding love. i found peace within myself and was fully convinced that i was truly happy as is, and honestly, if i didnt meet her, i'd be the same, and not an atom different. sorry for my comma abuse.

while i have feelings for friends and family, i had one specific family member whom i had unparalleled affection for. they've long since passed, and i've kinda pushed away from love as a side effect - i've looked for answers within myself rather than from others. her death coincided with a few months after my last serious relationships ended, too, so.. there's that.

admittedly yes. i am far, far too used to doing what i want 100% of the time. the only social responsibility i have is of a college student. i dont work, and in my free time, i either game, play guitar, smoke with friends, or anything else that's just for pleasure. it probably is a natural compulsion that i have yet to come to terms with.

>>17838968
thank you for everything. i'm screencapping all this for future reference, sorry i havent replied sooner. i busied myself and i'm a lot better now, thanks to you.
>>17838595
i met this type of girl once, a long time back. i'd actually attribute my hyper-impulse of action this time around because i lost the chance of ever asking her out, even though she had intense feelings for me, i was blind, younger, and just stupid. i'm sorry you experienced this, anon.