how do i tell my bf to tone it down with the lovey-dovey stuff

>>17833850
yes that does seem a bit much

evaluate the whole package, make the list of 10 things to like/dislike, add them up & either stay or go

trying to change somebody else is very difficult.......

otherwise when y'all are smooching & he is in a really good mood you can try to mention somethjing about - honey can we talk sometime about small things we do that irritate each other

if he just piles on more emo goop well there is your answer i guess

haha how embarrassing! that's ridiculous.

what >>17833860 said
you can't -change- him. but if he's doing it because he thinks you like it (as opposed to it just.. coming naturally, like it's just what he thinks about all the time), then he should be more than willing to drop it lol.

but if it's just the way his brain works? kinda weird but asking him to stop is like asking him to just start speaking differently altogether.

but it's pretty unlikely that's how his brain works. odds are that he thinks himself some kind of poet and is trying too hard.

also i disapprove of your drawer organisation in the OP. because it isn't too full, it still gets a 6/10.

>>17833860
>>17833864
i definitely won't leave him for this.
he has very low selfesteem and i suspect that he vomits out this sugar glazed cookies when he's holding something back and wants to say SOMETHING, just not what he really meant... i will try to find a way to gently steer a conversation to the topic in a good moment. i mean, this is ranting on high levels but it definitely bugs me. it has happened before, that if there is an unresolved conflict, he slips into a role he thinks "girls want". and that puts a wall between us like nothing else in a matter of seconds.
i probably will have to remond him to stay honest and say stuff, even if it is unpleasant at first.

and that's a drawer at work i took a pic of to make a little pic to put on the outside so you see at one glance what's inside. but thanks for the rating!

>>17833880
based on this additional information, it sounds to me like he is doing something he -thinks- guys are supposed to do or girls want to see from their bf. which is dumb, and honestly the kind of people that do this are the kind of people i actively avoid.. they are too impressionable and boring

that said though, sounds like you care about him, so yeah. have a conversation with him. personally, on a quiet day, i would just jump straight into it. i value 100% transparency and honesty in all my relationships (not just romantic), and i always make it clear that if you are going to try and act aloof or disinterested in me or my friendship/company, because you don't want to be "clingy", and want to be "cool", i'm not going to bother with you.

it bodes badly if he can't handle a serious conversation with you like an adult.

you say he has low self esteem though, which makes it more difficult. but all you can do is start it off by reassuring him that you're not upset or mad or anything, you just want to talk about it and try to understand his point of view. make it clear that this isn't like an ultimatum thing where if he doesn't change then he's getting kicked to the curb.

all you can do for people w/ low self esteem is reassure them, and be as genuine as possible.

that is how i see it anyway. you're welcome for the rating. i'm going home now, good luck with your bf. you seem cool, i'd befriend you, even though you have a weird bf. not that you asked, but like i said, when i think someone is cool i let them know - at the very least to spread the love.

>>17833850
wow you are a bitch he probably has a passion for you and loves you exactly as the day he meet you.

>>17833893
those are some very good pointers. i'll keep them in mind when i talk to him!

i agree with you. i don't like if someone puts on an act. but i usually know that it's just a sign of thinking "the real me isn't good enough", so i try to find a way to make them feel secure enough to let down their guards. which works with my bf, but then his weird acts creep up again. i guess i will have to keep at this for years till he finally believes me that it's ok to speak your mind.

he has a lot of communication problems, yes. but i'm far from perfect myself (another reason why i dislike him calling me "perfect". it feels like he either doesn't know me at all or blatantly tries to see only what he wants to see. i'm more a supporter of realistic expectations.)


thanks for your help! that really reasured me that i'm not going mad... you seem like a person i'd get along well!
have a nice day

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>>17833850
>how do i tell my bf to tone it down with the lovey-dovey stuff without him feeling rejected?

Just simply tell him and don't overthink it. If you did something he didn't like he would tell you so don't be a scheming jackass behind his back. Guys who are upfront like him aren't as shitty as your girlfriends who throw a hissyfit when you vocally judge them. They want the relationship to last and really value you.

>>17833850
Disingenuous?

>>17833850
Fuck you, you're a whore. Why don't you go for what you really want which is a fucking ape retard that treats you like a piece of shit and abuses you ?