/adv/ what do you do about a friend that constantly ignores you

>>17833811
sadly that person is NOT your "friend" and you just typed the reasons why

life your life ! find some things you like to do and go do them meet new people etc

meetup.com ??

you don't have to be the tag-along for some group of people

>>17833825

But why? Why do they treat me like this? What did I do?

I don't know how to make other friends and that group is pretty much all I have.

All I want is a mixed group of people to drink and go to the club and dance with. Nothing complicated.

Like all I ask for is to get an invite it's so fucked up.

I'm very extroverted and social and often feel lonely due to my lack of friends.

>>17833829
>But why?

i have no idea why that group of people doesn;t like you

find a new group of people to spend time with

get some feedback from somebody closer to you than some dweeb (me) on the internet

do you dress like a slob ? do you smell like a pig ? do you talk like a jerk ? are you a total boozer ?

idk !!

>>17833844
>do you dress like a slob ? do you smell like a pig ? do you talk like a jerk ? are you a total boozer ?

None of this. This is what makes it worse. I'm a fairly normal guy, it's not like I'm a neckbeard or an autist.

I'm out of college so making friends, especially a group of friends is very very hard

>>17833863
not him, another anon here.

>i'm a fairly normal guy, it's not like i'm a neckbeard or an autist

sadly not everyone is self aware enough to know this about themselves or not.

but yeah, we can't know why they don't like you. as mentioned, you might smell, you might be unintentionally rude, you might be ugly, you might dress embarrassingly, you might be 2 fat to hang out with, you might have a shitty embarrassing haircut, you might chew your food too loudly. could be fuckin' anything at this point.

they clearly aren't your friends, and they don't want to hang out with you. stop wasting your energy on them.

i'm also out of college, and i've managed to make a group of friends. it took a while but it happened.

i used meetup.com to make one group of friends, and i met someone else at a pokemon go walk (when that was still a thing) - and now i'm in her group of friends, and also she's my gf. but i hung out with her and her friends a lot before we hooked up.

in the past, the only people i avoided and neglected that were my "friends" were people that i had very obvious reasons to dislike. they thought they were friends with me but i never gave them that impression, they just assumed it. either they're too clingy, or fucking so annoying to be around.

>>17833811

ive been there. I went to 5 different highschools because we moved around a lot. so i was often that friend. and there's several reasons.

the most prominent in my case was:
>they simply knew each other better

and while we have the capacity to have MANY friends, most of them are casual, and the older you get, the more casual those friends become. they've known each other longer, or at least in the way that matters which brings me to my next point:

>they know each other BETTER

a big part of bonding is... well, bonding. to be close to someone you have to know parts of them. not secrets, or knowledge, but just this little part thats only visible in the right light.

when we see good friends we think of it as those happy moments they show us: two buds goofing around making stupid jokes and acting retarded but charming to/with one another.

but the truth is, thats just the surface of their relationsihp. the real bond runs deep. you didn't see it when one guy was hugging the other one in a way that others would call 'gay' because he was sad for reasons that most people would tell him to 'man up' against.

and even if you've known them longer, you havent shown people your hidden elements, and they havent shown yours. why? dunno. sometimes they come up naturally. right place, right time. other times its chemistry. they can only share in the right circumstances.

being nice and friendly doesn't mean shit outside of 'casual'. if you want to be the one people ALWAYS want around they need to feel you are special.

>>17833811
Do YOU ever reach out to the group? Are you ever the guy who says "Let's all go to the new movie this weekend" or whatever?

If you don't do that, they will get the message that YOU don't like THEM. Then they will respect your choice by not invading your privacy and leaving you alone.

>>17833811
Don't take it personally. They don't like you, but they prolly don't dislike you either.

>>17834152

They all live together AND work together. The other people in the group are girlfriends and are there 24/7

I am close friends(7 years) with the guy who lives there but he has been ignoring me and rarely invites me

I can't really make plans anywhere and no one would go to them if I did

>>17834170

Seriously they're like the cast of friends

Now my friend doesn't hang out with me anymore and sorta avoids me.

He seems to only be interested in people when they can offer him something(weed, social status, pussy)