Hey! I lost my virginity a few days ago, and have had sex again

OP here.

So that's the story I suppose... Can all of those difficulties be attributed to inexperience and excessive porn consumption? Will it get better?

How do I know if a condom fits?

Is there anything I should do or can do in the mean time? How am I going to get better if I'm literally lasting 2 or 3 thrusts. That's really embarrassing and emasculating, even with such a sweet, understanding woman.

Thank you so much for any advice at all. I'm really at a loss for what went wrong.

>>17832143
bump

can you shorten that shit bro. make it tl;dr because I don't feel like spending more than two minutes reading any single thing. Give me the 20 second version.

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>>17832141
>>17832141
>>17832141
The best advice I dare offer is: Relax. Perhaps you're suffering from a mild case of performance anxiety. I take it you're young, possibly in your late teens or early twenties. Your problem isn't physical, it's mental - and it's completely normal, many men go through performance anxiety. Sex is supposed to be fun, not a performance, James. Just roll with it.

Best add that perhaps you're watching too much porn and jerking it too often. Look into the "deadth grip syndrome" - there are websites that can help you go through with it - it's an easy process. The condom may also be affecting your erections, go try out some condoms.

The most cost effective advice I can offer is: Buy some Cialis. When I was 18 and was about to lose my virginity, I told the girl I wasn't a virgin in order to impress her (teenage brain). I was so nervous that I literally couldn't maintain an erection! Luckily, I managed to blame it on the alcohol, and the next day I reached out to some homosexual deviant online and bought 8 Cialis pills, for about 15 bucks. I took a pill every two days until those fuckers ran out. I fucked like a stallion for a week, and after I stopped taking the Cialis pills - I was confident enough to never fuck up majorly during sex.

>>17832143
>Will it get better?

I assure you that it will. Come back in about two weeks and we'll talk about it. I guarantee it.

>Is there anything I should do or can do in the mean time?
>lasting 2 or 3 thrusts

Stop thinking about it all the time.
I've never had PE (shooting it too early) from performance anxiety, only a mild case of ED (no boner).

>>17832173
I had a lot of trouble keeping an erection with a condom and I came insanely quickly, embarrassingly quickly. And couldn't orgasm from a blowjob.

Thought part of it might be excessive porn consumption, though I've cut WAY back the last 6 months.

Is it just inexperience? This was my first 2 times having sex.

How can you have trouble getting an erection and still come quickly

Serious question

>>17832192

I'm a borderline porn addict myself. I would think if you abandon porn you would cum quicker. That's how I am. After no porn my dick will be ready to explode and would be much much MUCH more sensitive and desperate to let loose in real pussy.

If you can't get off when she's sucking you're dick she might really just suck. That's a possibility (no pun intended). How is she doing it?.

What's going on in your brain when she's sucking you?. Do you really want it? or are you like "this is happening so I'll let it happen"?. If you jerk off a lot your dick will not be as receptive to stimulation. It will be almost worn out. I think I hear people on 4chan call it "the death grip".

>>17832183
Thanks dude. I had heard of "death grip syndrome"... it's one of the main reasons I cut back on porn. I may watch it once a week now.

If the condom is affecting my erections, how tight should it fit?

Thanks again, so much.

>>17832209
The woman who sucked my dick is older and really experienced. It was my first time, and first blow job, so I don't have anything to compare it against. I think my trouble there was just excessive porn. I'm more concerned about how quickly I came.

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>>17832212
>If the condom is affecting my erections, how tight should it fit?

Try them out, see which ones are comfortable. I really can't provide you an answer for this, since our penises are probably different in size, girth and shape. Sex is about being comfortable, but it's also about seeing what works for you. Just try them out.

By death grip syndrome, I mean, when you grab your dick, don't grab it that hard. You can slowly get rid of the death grip syndrome in about a month, but you'll see major and rapid improvements along the way.

>>17832203
Anxiety.

You are in an uncomfortable situation, you're (kind of) afraid of sex and your subconsciousness wants you to get out of that situation, to avoid sex. So it messes with your dick in order to keep you out of that horrible situation you put yourself in. It can do that in 2 ways: keep your dick flaccid so you can't have sex and the object of your anxiety is never reached or make you cum instantly so the sex, the thing that's making you nervous ends. They are 2 opposite reactions, but they achieve the same things. Kind of like the fight or flight reaction.

>>17832241
I thought that syndrome was from listening to too much mc ride

>>17832243
I felt the anxiety with the second woman, but only after the erection problem started. But with the first I really do feel completely at ease with her. And I climaxed so quickly.

>>17832241
How can I get rid of the death grip syndrome? Stop masturbating and only have sex?

>>17832266

If you're like me then you can't stop masterbating. No bullshit, I'm such a perverted motherfucker that I get blueballs and it makes my left nutsac enlarge and it hurts. It literally grows and gets hard and delicate like it's going to pop. I read online that it's caused by veins getting clogged or some shit. The longer I go without porn the more horny I get and then fucking it makes my life a living hell. I can't stop staring at women and I see hot girls dressed in slutty shit it gets my nutsac hurting. I have to release it. It's a preventative measure for me. Not sure if you're like that or if that in any reflects your mental state but if you can go without it I don't see why you shouldn't try to.

>>17832277
That's kind of why I haven't given it up completely. It's a release, but I haven't been in that level of pain. That really sucks my friend.

Girl here. Can't offer much advice as to how to help, but I will say that we have all experienced this kind of thing with men, and we are used to it. It's not as embarrassing or disappointing as you might think- most girls are open minded to fucking again and again if the guy comes too quickly or goes soft. We know that dicks can be weird and it usually has nothing to do with us. My boyfriend is 27 and still has problems like this sometimes, you learn to get past it. Another thing, condoms are weird, and sometimes they never fit right, or they can actually make a dick go soft. If/when you do get a girlfriend, help her pay for birth control, or at least make sure she's on it, and disease free- that alone will help your dick a lot. Also, if you come quickly, be sure to ask the lady if she needs help getting off- offer to finger her or eat her out. Even if she says no, the offer is incredibly rare.

>>17832141
Were these women prostitutes? Seems weird that you go from virgin to 2 different girls within such a short time frame. Congrats on losing your virginity in any case. Also if the girl has already climaxed that is your cue to cum if you want. I mean you can make her climax more if you want but the fact that you at least got her there once is fair enough. Especially for someone with your lack of experience. You are being far too hard on yourself. I think your difficulties are from lack of experience and do not have anything to do with porn. Just keep having sex and you will figure out how to get better.

>>17832277
This used to happen to me, too. When I was below 17-18 it would just end up with a wet dream after more than a couple days. But by college it seemed to stop self-regulating. Would get increasingly severe ballaches if I went more than about 1.5-2 days. Then I would cum buckets when I fapped to release the pressure. Lately it doesn't seem to do this anymore. But I'm not sure. Maybe it just takes longer now and I simply haven't waited long enough-- it's been a while since I've gone more than 3 days. It always starts to distract me from my work at some point and make it hard to concentrate.

>>17832682

>It's not as embarrassing or disappointing as you might think- most girls are open minded to fucking again and again if the guy comes too quickly or goes soft.
You sound nice. Tbh this is a large part of why I think the current casual sex climate is so screwed up-- it encourages people to see each other as objects and objectives that could fail or succeed. Things like this end up being seen as a failure and causing stress etc. Plenty of other reasons as well.

>We know that dicks can be weird and it usually has nothing to do with us.
True. Wouldn't be dating you if not attracted.

>My boyfriend is 27 and still has problems like this sometimes, you learn to get past it.
You can also buy tadalafil online if you know where to look. L-arginine and Citrulline also help considerably.

>Another thing, condoms are weird, and sometimes they never fit right, or they can actually make a dick go soft.
This started becoming an issue for me around age 25 for some reason. They also make it much harder to orgasm reasonably quickly, but that can be a good thing.

>If/when you do get a girlfriend, help her pay for birth control, or at least make sure she's on it, and disease free- that alone will help your dick a lot.
Some girls do badly with hormonal approaches; it made two of my exes have mood issues. IUDs are a lot more reliable and don't do that, if you can get past the uncomfortable setup process at least....

>Also, if you come quickly, be sure to ask the lady if she needs help getting off- offer to finger her or eat her out. Even if she says no, the offer is incredibly rare.
Aww. I always thought the rule was "ladies first"? That's always how I've proceeded. Usually the sex is much better if the girl has already had an orgasm or two beforehand, at least such has been my experience. Tends to make them much more eager and certainly much wetter.

Have a nice day, considerate-femanon.

>>17832682
OP here.

Thank you! It's encouraging that a lot of folks have experienced such a problem. She didn't say anything really, which was good because it saved me both the feeling of being judged and the pity. We haven't talked about birth control, but I don't think eliminating the condom would eliminate the problem. Just the struggle of getting it on and all.

>>17832767
No they weren't. It's an interesting story at the least, I just didn't think the backstory was relevant. It was weird how things fell so close together with both women though, yes.

Thanks. I thought it might have just been inexperience, but I was still apprehensive.

>>17833074
>Aww. I always thought the rule was "ladies first"? That's always how I've proceeded. Usually the sex is much better if the girl has already had an orgasm or two beforehand, at least such has been my experience. Tends to make them much more eager and certainly much wetter.

Ok, virgin idiot here, I guess this means fingering or eating out, but which is more frequently in your experience?

>>17833323
OP here... as I said I was recently a virgin.

It really depends on the girl my friend. I know that doesn't give you much information. The first woman I was with let me finger her for hours before we actually had sex and she came 3 or 4 times. The second wouldn't let me go down on her, and didn't really give me much of a response while I fingered her. So it just depends on the girl. Just be fully present and willing and you'll be fine.

>It really depends on the girl my friend.

>>17832141
Hey Op, I've had some similar experiences.

What I learned is that you can't have sex with every girl the same way, and you need to learn how your body reacts to sex.

First of all, good job cutting out the porn. It is very unhealthy for your sex life.

My advice is to practice. The cooldige effect is when you have sex with a new partner, your body ejaculates very quickly. The more times you have sex with the same partner, the longer it takes you to climax.

You can counteract this, but it takes a lot of practice to be able to last long in bed with a new woman.

You don't have to read it but I recommend The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sex Secretes Every Man Should Know. It's short, you can google the pdf for free.

Basically, you gotta balance your sexual energy and excitement levels. Nofap is mostly mythological, but there's some truth behind it.

So many factors go into erections and libido. Your diet, your mindset, your vitamin levels, the circumstances of the sex.

A good trick I learned is to hold in ejaculating for 4-7 days, then 1-2 hours before sex blow a huge load. This way, I will be able to get hard with ease because I haven't came too much in the past few days, and I won't cum too early because I'll just have ejaculated earlier that day and my dick will already be warmed up and less sensitive.

The more often you have sex, the easier it becomes. Just remember it's normal to be sensitive to sex after dry spells or if you're with a new woman. Just practice with yourself and with partners. There's a few more tricks, like doing 8 shallow thrusts for every one deep thrust. Starting slowly and just letting your dick warm up inside her and adjust to the new environment. Having the girl on top also helps you last longer, never start in doggy style unless you're experienced. It makes you cum pretty fast.

Start slow. When you get too excited, stop completely until you regain control. break a leg OP

>>17833364
secrets*

>>17832141
'scaling back' on porn isn't enough you need to stop watching porn all together, save your seed for real girls.
My bf has ED and we tried figuring it out for months. He worked out, changed his diet, but nothing worked. We then found out that watching porn was the problem. He can get it up now and feel sensation in his dick. he's also more affectionate with me as well.
Binging on porn is very unhealthy for men, and its a world wide problem.
I see at least 2-3 posts about this problem on here daily, the problem always stems from porn.

You're going to have to stop watching porn if you want a normal sex life. It's going to be hard, and the addicts here are going to tell you that it's not the problem. Be resilient and don't listen to them. If you need more proof this video goes into the science of porn affecting the male brain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU&feature=youtu.be

Thank you all so so much. All of this really helps!

>>17833427
I want to cut out porn completely because I've heard of the negative effects it has on consumers as well as the international sex market that it perpetuates. I intend to. I've greatly scaled it back, but I need to go ahead and put it to bed.

What about masturbating in general? Is it harmful? Necessary?

>>17833633
>What about masturbating in general? Is it harmful? Necessary?

A lot of people believe that fapping without porn is bad too. It's better to save your seed for real women. I would think that masturbating is ok as long as you dont imagine vulgar shit and instead focus on the feeling of masturbation. Also don't do it more than once a week because you will get deathgrip and not be able to feel sensation from sex.

>>17833342
Kek