So I've been talking to this guy who has been my friend

>>17831184
>"Hey anon, I think you're a great guy but you HAVE to take care of yourself. I'm not gonna date anyone who may drop dead within now and 5 years, no matter how great they are."

>>17831187
I told this to him except for the dating part. I don't really want to show signs that I'm giving him any hope before I'm sure. He doesn't really care though. I even invited him to work out with me.

>>17831184
>>17831190

He don't care, why do you? Don't try to save him. It's his choice. If he doesn't wanna change, then nothing you say will do it. Leave him be and move on.

>>17831238
In my experience, it is unlikely he would change even if you mention dating. Yeah he would try and maybe even lost a little weight, but being "forced" to do something eventually comes back at you. He would resent you and probably hide and eat something. He would be miserable and so would you with such a partner.
If he doesn't wanna help himself there is nothing you can do.

>>17831184
seems like some substantial concerns you have

living with someone who is obese is genuinely awful
it's so, so hard to eat properly around someone who won't
you either end up doing all the work cooking, or end up eating their food and being dragged down
then you end up resenting them

fat people have fat kids too, if it runs in his family plan on it being your family at some point
how can a fat parent have any hope of getting kids to eat right when they can't themselves

you could push him towards action, instead of playing with his ego one way or another just go do something active with him

but then I know a lot of people who lost weight and stayed at a healthy weight

if he's just fat on the inside, whether that is a deal breaker is really up to you

>>17831184
Truth is he is very unlikely to change. The argument could be made that he needs a little encouragement if he was a regular/sporty person who got too lazy and ballooned but for someone who has been living like this since childhood good luck with that, there is a reason fat people don't loose the weight and she. They do it isn't for long and its more psychological than anything else
Sure you can get him into therapy too just don't expect it to wodk

Well, tell him the truth, that you're not interested unless he takes care of his health and loses some weight. It may motivate him.

A girl I like told me some weeks ago she doesn't like how I act after alcohol when a friend asked her what she doesn't like about me; I haven't gotten drunk since she said that, even though my friends tried to get me there last weekend for example. And usually when I drink, I drink until I'm fucking drunk, at least that's how it's been before.
I wish she told me she'd date me if it wasn't for my drinking for example, I'd gladly drop alcohol altogether for her, but she probably won't like me anyways so soon I'll probably get smashed again

>>17831401

Living for someone else is not something that you can keep up. I'm not saying "get smashed". But drop alcohol for you, not for her.

>>17831401
How far would you go with this concept? Would you agree to prep her bull if she agreed to date you?
Would you give her all your money and send her into fancy dates with other men if she then came home at 5 am and you got to share the bed with her for a little while?

>>17831410

Today, /adv/ is really obsessed with "cucks" and fidelity. Are you also one of the Anons posting on other threads? Or is it just a coincidence?

>>17831416
What? Stop drinking alcohol you need to be able to deepthroat your girlfriends bull tonight because she doesn't do that

>>17831406
I know, she wasn't the first person to tell me I don't act cool after alcohol to say it mildly, that's why I've been limiting it despite knowing I got no chances with her. It'd be an additional motivation, though.
>>17831410
I'd agree for things that would be good for me and for her at the same time. If she asked me to put on weight (I'm underweight) and get muscles, I'd put an effort into it, that kinda stuff. Or if she asked me to learn to cook and do meals for her I'd also agree because at the same time I'd make proper meals for myself (of course assuming we'd both pay for ingredients) instead of eating fast foods all the time.
If she turned out to be a prick who expects me to do things that are clearly harmful to me, I'd drop her, my self-esteem isn't /that/ low

>>17831425
You are a fucking massive beta, if those things are bad for you and it bothers you go do something about it don't expect a magic bitch to show up and order you around until you become a half decent human being
Truly fucking pathetic

>>17831441
It doesn't bother me though, lol. I do fine at my job and uni even if I have a hangover, I'm skinny but it's better than being fat and I don't need muscles, I think I'm strong enough. I never get sick at all, I'm healthy, why change my diet?

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>>17831441
you seem upset :^)

>>17831468
im not upset im disgusted
>>17831446
they clearly fucking do if you fantasize about a woman stronger that you saving you from personal accountability

>>17831446
To elaborate more.
You make a lot of assumptions even though the thread was about something else altogether
Let's imagine the girl I like is the same as OP, except she's bothered by me drinking and being underweight instead of being obese. She likes my personality and all but is bothered with these things I am not bothered with.
Drinking alcohol makes me happy. I like exercising but not enough to wake up at 6am (I did that when I used to go to gym - I'm a very busy man, I don't have free time for exercise except for the morning), I like sleeping more.
But I like her more than drinking and sleeping so I'd be willing to limit those comfy activities and do an improvement which I don't personally find necessary because she asked me.

So, if OP is bothered he doesn't feel it's necessary to take a better care of himself, she can try and make him think it's necessary after all. The question is, is the thing she's bothered with his obesity per se, or the fact he can't find a motivation within himself? If the second, then yeah, better either drop him or wait for him to find the said motivation without her.

Hey OP, I considered dating an obese girl. She was actually /very/ pretty and hygienic, but also funny and smart.

But, in the end, I decided that her weight was too much of an issue for me to pretend it wasn't, and I didn't think it would be fair to dangle a relationship in front of a person on the promise that they change.

>>17831473
go back to your containment board

You seem like a good person OP, and the fact that you want a proper relationship in which both parties improve is commendable. However the thing is you gotta bluntly tell him that you're not into him unless he loses weight. If he's serious he'll at least try and the more drive he has, the more willing he is to succeed. Don't beat around the bush, if he doesn't want to get /fit/ that's his fault. A person should always strive to better himself.