So I met this girl a while ago and I recently started to really

>>17823571
holy shit i was in your exact same position, except
>started talking to this girl
>hit it off great
>hangout first time and just decide to go to my place
>mess around, hookup, play with her boobs etc
>fuck her the next day
also note im in school, which environment is up to you to figure out.
>lost virginity, caught feelings for her bad, and i think the only reason is because, she shown interest in me from the day i met her and her behavior showed that she liked me
I was honestly in love with that feeling of knowing someone wanted me that bad
>3 weeks later hang out every day, says she has feelings yada yada
>dumps me out of the blue for her ex, of 1.5 years
>less than a week goes by and she dumps him for me
>we hangout one day, the next day she says she needs time for herself
>the day after that she hangs out with her ex and puts shit on social media and tries to act as she did nothing wrong
>some more shit happened and now i completely cut her off, shes back with her ex, and i havent talked to her in 10 days,

honestly am surprised that she hasnt contacted me since when i ignore her she blew up my phone, called 35 times and wall of text.

anyway yea get out of there, shes using you, and trust me if you go down that road, your in for a WORLD of HURT, i've never been so hurt by a girl than by her..... she broke me man.

>>17823590
holy shit, dude, that's basically what's happening to me, with the bf of 2 years and stuff. it's without the sexual stuff though. it's just that she seemed nice since day one and the guy is a complete cunt. they've had a couple of fights since i met her and she just kept talking about how she hated him but couldn't break up with him because of their long relationship. but now they've broken up and he keeps posting shit about her on social media and stuff and it seems like he's moving on.

>>17823601
Well your definetly in a better position than I was my friend.

She is literally crazy, she goes to therapy 3 times a week and is on meds, I think she has borderline personality disorder, she has self harmed, tried killing herself, talked about killing herself recently, was going to give me a letter and told me to read it later the next day but i quickly figured it out, talked to her a bit and then she said for the first time, "I love you dominick", she said it for the first time too, and then she said it again after that.... and you know what happened? 2 days later she wouldnt even talk to me and blocked me on everything

she broke me man. just thinking about this now makes me sad, i've thought about desperate attempts to try and contact her but i dont think theres a point, i just need to move on completely. In my heart of hearts, knowing how she is i believe she'll try to talk to me again, because i know she really does have true feelings for me, thats not a lie, shes just a troubled person and her emotions make her do crazy shit.

I wish it could be how it was though man i havent stopped thinking about her yet, every morning i wakeup my mind darts to her..

>>17823614
If she really does have feelings for you and you love her, go for it. Feel sorry about her, but her condition doesn't even matter now. Get in contact with her, try to make things up. Also, related to the original post is that she even told her boyfriend about me, he got jealous, they had an arguement which later escalated and it led to their break up. She also randomly brought out the fact she's single now and broke up with the boyfriend. It was pretty obvious that she wasn't happy with him, but I still feel like
I'm just being used, even though it seems that she likes me. help me

>>17823641
dude i was in similar situations, after they broke up for the first time and she hung out with him, she said she would threaten to call me and talk to me because she knew it made him mad, i just felt used and i dont even know her true intentions but now it doesnt matter since shes back with him, so it probably was her intention IDK.

I would tell her that she needs time before jumping into a relationship because no matter what SHE will NOT be over him right away, theres just no way, even if it goes smooth for a week, maybe 2, it'll rehash and she'll destroy you.

Im not going to talk to her, theres no point shes already with another guy and im not going through what she put me, it wasnt even worth it when i think about it logically, i would just be anxious all day because i cant trust her AT ALL, since she always lied to me.

>>17823655
fuck then. Sounds really shitty man. I'll probably just be supportive and help her get over him. If she doesn't like me we're gonna stay friends since the fact she was interested in me was the reason I like her in the first place. hopefully she won't get back together with him.

>>17823614
If you wanna date a borderline girl, you gotta learn as much as you can about borderline.

Keep a journal with her, a shared emotional journal. She literally can't stop from overreacting to small gestures you give, so having that shared expression recorded and available for her to read will be an anchoring thing.

Do things consistantly. And I mean consistently. If you say goodnight to her 6 nights in a row and say fuck it on the 7th, she's gonna think something's wrong. Consistency is something people with BPD desperately need in their relationships. So likewise, keep to a strict schedule with the journal.

People with BPD don't have a strong sense of self. They constantly feel the need to re-evaluate themselves and this causes a lot of association. Brainstorm ways that you can reinforce her self image. Maybe come up with a mantra to recite that's really "her" or that represents something y'all did together that meant a lot to the both of you.

She may become obsessive about another person. This doesn't mean that she loves them. This means her brain is fixated on this person.

Talk to people with BPD about BPD. Talk to support groups, other men dating women with BPD, consult professionals, learn as much as you can. That's what it'l take.

If you really want to invest in her, then you have to go hard. But think, for a second, how few well-adjusted individuals would have the patience to do that for her when they can just look for something else. Think what that'd mean to somebody who's life is a hell of constant uncertainty, disassociation, and emotional instability. you can be her rock. But nobody would blame you if you don't want to shoulder that.

>>17823778
holy shit that's actually really good advice