So. How is this looking for me? I guess like 50/50 right now?

The ball is in her park, she'll probably forget about it.

>>17822438
Maybe. I did mention a day that I know for sure I'm free. But went dark after that. (But usually does around then)

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This is kinda how she responds to the rest of the messages. (Length and detail wise. I specifically asked about classes)

>>17822466
Just tell her she wont have to work anymore cause you gonna be her baby daddy

>>17822506
Yea.... No.

>>17822466
Ignore her. Don't text or respond for a few days

>>17822535
Eh, we would go a month easy without even so much as a simple "Hey" if we pass each other in person.

Also, for whats it worth, she made a specific mention to her 21st birthday.

it's amazing that people can live a life without learning how to communicate with others effectively

>>17822542
At least I'm not completely clueless in dealing with people?

>>17822539

If that's how much you know her, just give up, move on. She's clearly making excuses and trying to be polite. Don't waste your time and hers.

>>17822551
Eh, I do know her a decent amount, we are both quite shy in person though.

She doesn't really talk to people in person, other than me, and maybe a couple others. (Including Professors)

So, it's more so just that I think?

>>17822564
She's postponing and making excuses just to be polite from the messages you've shown us. With just that as evidence you don't have a strong case at all.

I'm sorry, but she seems to be trying to turn you down.

>>17822564

If a woman wants to spend time with you, they will. It doesn't matter how shy they are. Just move on to the next gal.

>>17822576
Maybe, maybe not. Every person is different. I managed to get a friend of mine to go out with a girl who was acting almost identical to her.

>>17822574
Like I said, every person is different. But there have been quite a few things that can hint towards something.

>>17822587

And this is not one of them cases. Dude, just let it go and move on.

>>17822597
What makes you say 100% that this is not worth it.

As, like I mentioned, a friend of mine was in a virtually Identical situation, and they still managed to go out.

>>17822600

If you wanna be stubborn, go right on ahead, it's your life. But don't you dare come crying back here in a month when you realize she's not interested in an intimate relationship with you.

>>17822587

Either post those things or take the advices. No reason to ask for advice if you think you know better.

Your friend probably won by tyring the poor girl, or hit her up when she was up to it, but insisting is rarelly a good option.

>>17822602
I'm just asking what makes you think that 100% theres no chance?

I'll accept rejection if it comes down to that.

>>17822603
I know the circumstances of them meeting up, as I guided him.

And these are the things on my end.

>She is shy, and kinda doesn't acknowledge me unless I say something, then we can talk for a good while without issue. This is even when it is just us standing next to each other before class. (May smile or position herself in my field of view)

>Does not initiate texts, but is willing to talk for hours with detailed replies once I get her going (Always goes to a topic she knows I have a real interest in. Could be something she's using as common ground?)

>I have seen her looking at me from a distance, sometimes locking eyes. (Occasionally smiling when she sees me looking back)

>When I asked for her number, she took my phone and punched it in. (It was the actual number, obviously)

>When I asked her to grab lunch the first time, she said she was busy that weekend, so I offered up Monday, which she accepted. (Didn't end up eating, but just hung out in the campus gardens for an hour or so.)

>>17822611

That's not great evidence yet. She can be just a good friend or really polite. I'm not saying she doesn't like you, just saying apparently she isn't into you right now.

Ask her out but be more active, there's gotta be a time in the week where you know she'll be able to go out with you, even if for lunch or coffee. If you read all those signs as you say and is so sure she's into you, there's no reason not to go for a kiss then.

>>17822635
True. I do know that she is completely busy Mon-Fri, and Probably Sunday as well. Especially given that its now finals, so yea, maybe not the best currently


One other thing I noticed is that we really never call each other by our names.

But I guess it's kinda 50/50 right now anyway

>>17822611

To answer on behalf of this anon...I'd also say that it doesn't seem like she's interested on an intimate level at the moment.

When I first met my now partner, I would have walked over hot coals to arrange another meeting with them, despite having other things going on at the time. She doesn't seem to be suggesting a date and her response to you seems a bit avoidant. Some people do have busy lives but if they really wanted to see you, they'd name a day or at least suggest a time frame.

Maybe just back off for a while and see what happens. Either she'll come back with a date or she won't, but at least you won't be worrying about it.

>>17822650

What do you call each other?

I had a girl that we called each other chicken and we were awesome friends for a while. She didn't want anything from me and when I moved on to my current gf she got jealous and we lost contact. So even nicknames aren't something per se, very situational.

Ask her out between chirstmas and new years eve. Most likely she'll be free. If she still makes up an excuse not to go out with you (unless she's travelling), she doesn't have any interest to date you.

>>17822656
Eh, probably true. I'll just leave it for now, and probably text her on her birthday (If she doesn't do anything) I won't expect an answer this week or next though.

Honestly, based off what I know of her, it could be social anxiety holding her back a bit as well.

Could also be that she is not actively looking for a relationship either, but won't necessarily block one if circumstances were right.

>>17822656
To add to this, maybe because she's so shy, she wants someone to speak to who she doesn't know that well. She's probably just your friend if she isn't suggesting another time. If you're shy and you like someone and they suggest going on a date, you don't turn them down.

>>17822667
>What do you call each other?
Nothing, no names are used. Usually just say "Hey" then start talking about what ever.

>Ask her out between Christmas and new years eve
Her birthday is right in the middle of that, and my parents anniversary is the day after her birthday. So yea...

>>17822673
>f you're shy and you like someone and they suggest going on a date, you don't turn them down.
I've done that though. And some of friends have done that as well. So not necessarily true

>>17822679
Considering you're trying to think of reasons that she wouldn't say yes, and basically hoping that she is simply too busy shows she's not going to say yes. It's easier for you to believe her being "too busy" than to accept the truth.

Anyway, even if it were the truth, if she can't say yes to a date, what makes you think she'll be comfortable in a relationship?

Don't overthink this shit dude... seriously!

Just wait a decent amount of time, if she don't bite move on to the next bird. Done!

>>17822685
Yea, I'll wait. Maybe message her saying "Happy Birthday" on her birthday and thats it.

>>17822682
Well, she has already said that she's stupidly busy, too much so to even have a social life. (In a prior conversation)

>Anyway, even if it were the truth, if she can't say yes to a date, what makes you think she'll be comfortable in a relationship?
That would remain to be seen. If she's anything like me, then she will become more comfortable with someone after being able to talk with them a decent bit. (Infact she started to seem more comfortable with me when we would see eachother in person every other day last semester)

And if she'll be too busy to maintain a relationship, that remains to be seen. Maybe there could be a way to make it work in that situation

>>17822679
OP, when I read your replies I feel like: "Some dudes will never learn". Hopefully you are young and naive, and I'm wrong.

There's sooo much to this more than this girl standing you up. Because that's the first level of realisation you have to do. Some dudes here have tried to steer you right. Try to listen to them as best you're able to.

As far as this lady goes; obviously it's not completely doomed (as of yet) since she's still willing to touch base on occasion with you. (That too will end in an instance if you don't straighten your shit up)
Thinking you would be able to handle ANY girl at all with your type of neediness is pure rationalisation, and you need to start listening to the reality of how women behave and what sort of motivations drive women, as opposed to men.

God speed, little boy.

>>17822719
>Hopefully you are young and naive, and I'm wrong.
Eh, the girl and I are both 20, and we both have not been in a relationship.

>Some dudes here have tried to steer you right. Try to listen to them as best you're able to.
I am listening to them, but I am keeping in mind that not everyone is the same, so what they brought up may apply to some but not all people

>As far as this lady goes; obviously it's not completely doomed (as of yet) since she's still willing to touch base on occasion with you
She's put up with alot of my shit, but is still willing to talk for hours when I message her.

I would say it can go either way. Try to check in with her when break begins? See if any new developments by then

>>17822587

Dude, no one is that busy. She doesn't want to see you and is being polite. Don't ask for advice if you're just doing to disregard what you get in search of something that suits you.

I'm a girl and she is either
1) polite but uninterested
2) interested but very busy

The fact that she said yes when you asked her to hand out makes me think it's the latter. If she wasn't interested, she would have used the "I'm too busy" excuse before agreeing to meet up with you at some point.

That being said, she might not be SO interested in you that she's gonna immediately think of you when she gets a day off.

You need to remind her in a subtle way that isn't clingy that you wanna hang out.

Most guys who have done this with me text something like "hey, I'm going to a ____ concert this weekend if you're free and wanna come with. You said you like their music, right?"
Or "have you ever been to _____(restaurant)? I went there the other day and their steak was the best i've ever had. You should let me take you sometime soon if you're not too busy"

Do this once every 2-3 weeks (girls plan like 1-2 weeks in advance)

Or you could also go the other way, and try to catch her on a day when she isn't supposed to work
"Hey what are you up to"?
"Nothing, chilling at home"
"Any plans for later? If you're not busy we should grab dinner"

>>17822866
>Dude, no one is that busy.
Eh, I'm not disregarding any advice. Just saying that it is a known fact that she is legitimately that busy. She mentioned that before I asked her out.

>>17822869
>2) interested but very busy

That is kinda what I am thinking. She is somewhat interested, as shown by the fact that she said yes, and that we were talking back and forth all day, for a good 10hrs. And is known to actually be very busy, which is seen in the second image.

I'll try to find a way to subtly remind her as we hit winter break in a couple weeks or so. Probably use something like what you mentioned with the restaurant bit.

Definitely will atleast wish her a happy birthday though. (She did specifically mention her 21st as being two days after x-mas)

>>17822802
True. I'm thinking that what this anon said is most likely >>17822869

>>17822466
OP quit feeding her your attention. she isn't giving any specifics whatsoever. If she likes you as well or is even remotely interested she'll at least text you back about a potential time. If you keep reminding her about everything she will say no because she sees you as desperate/uptight

>>17823031
>she isn't giving any specifics whatsoever.
Yea, no. She definitely seems to be giving more specifics than she would need.

>If she likes you as well or is even remotely interested she'll at least text you back about a potential time.
Given as this is still about 3 weeks out, I don't expect any potential times yet.

>If you keep reminding her about everything she will say no because she sees you as desperate/uptight
Goes without say. At most I'll ask her how finals went and do something like what >>17822869
said

>>17823025
Makes sense. Good luck.

>>17823286
Thanks. Hopefully all goes well.

Seems like the girls would say that this is more of a soft yes. While the guys think its a soft no.

Honestly, I'm more inclined to believe the girls in this case

>>17822435
Are you the guy who made a thread a while back about this same girl? She was talking about the fire department and you were trying to get in also or some shit? I remember last convo you sent if that was you and it was really bad. Like not good enough for you at all.

>>17823701
Yes.... But what was it that made it real bad last time?

I don't think I'm as bad as most who post the convo's one here

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>>17822551
>Don't waste your time and hers.
>and hers

>>17822435
don't end your texts with a period, makes the conversation seem stilted

>>17823730
Kinda force of habit. But that is something i'll keep in mind

>>17823730
hehe I was thinking about this today actually, sounds like a good tip

If you ask a girl out and you get rejected (Including a maybe) then you stop asking her and stop texting her.

Don't ignore her, but pursue no further. If she's only rejected you once, it's okay to ask one more time in a week. Two no's or maybes and you just tell her "yeah let me know when your schedule is more definite."

>>17823818
That's not really even a maybe though.

But I see what you mean.

Bump before I head to bed

Looks like she has given a soft yes for now.

Maybe she might need you to push her a little to actually get it going. But I honestly think you have a shot

you are too interested
and that puts her off
do something fun without her
bait her
she will want to spend time with you if shes interested

>>17824937
What makes you say that I'm "too interested"

>>17823669
I am a really shy girl.

I feel quite resemblance with this girl. The fact that she, a shy girl, spent hours just to talk to you is something. I will only text a guy for hours if I am interested with him, but I'm always insecure to meet him in person, that makes me prone to give vague answer to meet up. "I want to see you, but I am worried of bad impression!" that's what I think most of the time (probably because I'm quite a loner and never been in relationship). When I meet the guy in person, I am totally clueless, I don't know what to do. I am scared to make him feel bored, I am scared of being too intense. Though he doesn't sense my anxiety at all and think I am calm. My suggestion is, if you think she's the right one, keep going.

She's probably just as anxious as you :)

>>17825002
Yea. I see what you mean. Basically what I was thinking.

Maybe I could give her a little push when we get nearer to winter break to try and actually get us to do something?

>>17824972
>maybe we could meet?
you are too afraid to ask straight, because you dont want to be rejected
>ballpark idea
>I hope?

its just dripping in thirst, they can feel it, and they dislike it
i think its perfectly reasonable, but women are dumb so dont be thirsty, pretend you arent
sadly

>>17825049
Most of my thought process is somewhat based off of this >>17825002

The assumption that she is very shy, so I'm partially trying have as little pressure on her.

>>17825002
>>17825062

Same thing I say to guys here on 4Chan: if you are too shy to even go out with the person or talk face to face, then there's no relationship there.

Sorry, but you will have to see each other eventually, right? Being a good partner implies being able to see the other person...

>>17825068
>>17825068
True, but assuming they are anything like me, then we will become comfortable with each other, once we go out a couple times.

>>17825073
>once we go out a couple times.

Yeah, but you need to go out for that to happen, right? And isn't the problem that she is too shy to even meet?

>>17825074
True. That's why I think that if I push her a bit, she will be able to meet up. It's more of a question of how can I push her to meet.

I'm sure there is a way that would make it happen, but what is it?

>>17825076
>That's why I think that if I push her a bit, she will be able to meet up.

You want to help her come out of her shell for her on good or to date you?

You are getting into a personal process that she has to go through, and your goal is banging. It seems like a conflict of interests.

>>17825079
Honestly, I want her to come out of her shell for her own good.

Everything else is secondary.

>>17825083
>Honestly, I want her to come out of her shell for her own good.

Great! Then step back and let her come to you for help, if she decides she wants it, of course. If she doesn't, then just let her be.

>>17825086
Again, if she's anything like me or the other shy ones I know, she'll need a bit of a push in the right direction.

And she has already said that she is trying to come out of her shell in the past.

>>17825091

IF she is like you. Maybe she isn't. And as I said, be there to help her, but don't decide what to do, how to do it, or when to do it. It's her own process. She has to make all those choices. Your little "push" seems more about you than about her right now.

Let. Her. Decide. She will tell you if she needs you. Don't play the hero. She doesn't need saving.

>>17825095
I see what you mean, but what I mean by "push" would be to pull her into situations that put her out of her comfort zone.

So many different opinions in this thread... Now what pieces of advice are actually worth following

>>17825105
>but what I mean by "push" would be to pull her into situations that put her out of her comfort zone.

Like what? Dating you?

>>17825111
Hard to explain, but not necessarily that.

>>17825114

It's hard to explain because it's all you want. If you wanted to help her, if you listened to what she wants to do, you'd have examples to offer.

But you don't, you just want her extroverted enough to date. This is about you, not her.

>>17825120
I guess what I meant was that it would be more so to kinda force her to deal with people that she may not necessarily have known prior. (Excluding me)

>>17825124
>to kinda force her to

No. No. Listen for a second. You don't decide she needs to be extroverted. You don't decide how she becomes more extroverted. You don't force anything on her.

If SHE wants to become more extroverted, you help her in any way SHE wants to do it (if you think that could work and it's not illegal, etc.).

Don't force her. If you have to describe your idea as "forcing her to" do anything, then stop with that idea.

>>17825127
Maybe force isn't the best word, but more so somewhat encourage it, but not necessarily force her.
Leave invites open with her, so she can join up if she wants, but there is no obligation.

And I didn't decide that the needs to be more extroverted, but in reality she out right said that she is trying to do so.

Also, you must remember that sometimes they want help, but still are unable to actually ask for it.

>>17825136
>Also, you must remember that sometimes they want help, but still are unable to actually ask for it.

Yeah, I get that. That's where friends and family can help, not the dude that wants to bone you. I'm saying YOU have to step back. This is about you and her, not about any kind of relationship in the whole world.

And force is the best way to describe it because it's what you want to do. She avoids meeting you and keeps her distance, so unless you force her, nothing is gonna happen, right?

Step back and work on another "project". Build a shelf if you want to do something, don't work on other people to make her boner accessible.

>>17825144
>That's where friends and family can help, not the dude that wants to bone you.
Again, my motive is not that. And I would say that she does trust me a fair bit, seeing as she is willing to talk to me for 8+ hrs easy.

Also remember these few things from here >>17822611

>nothing is gonna happen, right?
Not necessarily,

>>17822435
There's no indicator of interest from her at any point in any way.
>50/50
Dude how do you even get this idea. Just because a girl is talking to you doesn't mean she's interested romantically. From what you posted it's 0%.

You're not flirting, you're not even talking about anything of significance. It's just small talk, the same kind she has with every other classmate. I doubt she even acknowledges you as a sexual being at this point.

Like others said. Don't text her for a while (or move on right away). Then when you do be specific about setting a date. If she continues to not put in any effort at all like she does now, then move on because she obviously has no interest in you. If you talk to her irl then be flirty and show interest, instead of acting like the beta chump that seem to be.

>b-but my girl is different from all the others
Very unlikely.

>>17825153

>Again, my motive is not that.

>nothing is gonna happen, right?
>Not necessarily,

See, there's my point. You want to bone her. You expect to break her out her shell and date. So don't lie to you and me about your motives.

Nice link, thanks for pointing out she just responds to your attention, she doesn't seek you out. So, as I said like three times already, she isn't asking for you, she isn't looking for you. Give her some space.

>>17825158
So we got the females in the thread >>17825002
>>17822869
Saying that she is interested but either very shy or busy (or both)

Then the guys saying that she is not interested at all.

>>17825166

I already said this to her: If you are too anxious to date then you are not good dating material.

I don't care why she is unable to date you, the point is she is unable to do it. And if she is shy, it's her problem to solve.

>>17825162
>So don't lie to you and me about your motives.
I am not lying about them.
Yes, I am attracted to her, but as a person rather as just someone to bang.
I'll want to help her as and if she ends up with someone else, so be it. I'll be happy just knowing that she is better of now.

>she doesn't seek you out
She has a bit, when we saw each other in person regularly

Also, if she was just responding to my attention, then why does she bother with actually carrying on a detailed conversation? There usually are many opportunities for her to just cut it off whenever she wants.

>>17825188
>then why does she bother with actually carrying on a detailed conversation?

Wanting to talk is not the same as wanting to date. Any kind of attention is not attraction.

>I'll want to help her as and if she ends up with someone else, so be it.

How about you stop thinking of her only in terms of dating? That's why I know you don't have her best interests in mind. You only think about her in terms of: Who she is dating. She is single now, so you have your eyes on her. The project is to get her to a point where she can date, and the end result is who she ends up with.

That's all you care about.

>>17825193
>How about you stop thinking of her only in terms of dating?
I am only answering like that because all your questions are aimed that way.

The end result is for her to be outgoing enough to actually have something of a social life, and not to be a complete workaholic.

>Wanting to talk is not the same as wanting to date. Any kind of attention is not attraction.
True, but catching her looking at me from a distance? or having her position herself in a way that I can see her? Or randomly coming to sit next to me, when the whole place is empty?

>>17825196
>Or randomly coming to sit next to me, when the whole place is empty?

I sit next to my male friends. Hope they don't think I'm gay now.

>I am only answering like that because all your questions are aimed that way.

Yeah, that's why you couldn't come up with activities for you to do besides dating, right?

That's why when I said you were lying about your motives, you immediately said the workaholic thing. No wait, you didn't. You said that when I called you out on only taking about dating and attraction.


Please, please... don't think I'm so fucking dumb. You like her and you wanna date her. She clearly can't/doesn't want to date you. Take a hint. Move on.

>>17825166
Generally it's a bad idea to listen to women about what other women want. You can google why. In this specific case, it's still a matter of chance. Yes there's a chance OP's girl is just shy, but that doesn't mean it's likely. So far OP has shown nothing that indicates his girl is seeing him as anything more than an acquaintance.

>>17825188
>le savior complex meme
>le "every time a girl is talking to me she obviously wants the D" meme
>le "her interests are more important to me than my own.... why are you calling me a beta pushover??" meme
You're literally the classic "nice guy". You got plenty of great advice ITT already, I suggest you follow it instead of explaining how it doesn't apply to you because you and your girl are both special snowflakes.

I also highly suggest you read The Book of Pook since you lack any clue about how romance works.

>>17825202
>I sit next to my male friends. Hope they don't think I'm gay now.
This was before we spoke at all, so definitely not just sitting next to a friend?

>Yeah, that's why you couldn't come up with activities for you to do besides dating, right?
What do you mean? Pretty sure just about everything I say could be seen as a date in some capacity.

>You said that when I called you out on only taking about dating and attraction.
Still doesn't make it any less true.

>She clearly can't/doesn't want to date you
Again, this is still 3-4 weeks out. And I sure as hell don't know exactly when I would be free. So, maybe in this case it could just be that she could be waiting to see her schedules for her Job(s) and the FD.
It's definitely a better answer than just saying "i'm busy"

>>17825212
>Generally it's a bad idea to listen to women about what other women want.
I suppose, I've also had some guys think similarly to them though. So still, that is the majority of opinions

>le "every time a girl is talking to me she obviously wants the D" meme'
Yea, no. Definitely not the case. I have quite a few female friends, and I haven't thought that at all. Ever.

>le "her interests are more important to me than my own.... why are you calling me a beta pushover??" meme
The big thing about that, is that the beta typically does it in hopes of them paying back in sex. Which I'm not. I'm just doing what I would do to help any friend in that situation.

>You got plenty of great advice ITT already
Yea, and some of it does apply. Not discounting it all together.

>>17825213
>It's definitely a better answer than just saying "i'm busy"

It's a non-committed answer to keep a possible creeper away without making him mad.

You are projecting your feelings and seeing what you want to see. You are being selfish, self-centered and unfair to her by planning to force "the right direction" into her (like you say here >>17825091)

you want to groom a girl to be your date and I'm tired of telling you how awful that is. Say all you want that you don't care. You are sure she likes you and when you finally see she doesn't, after "wasting" hours listening to her, you'll be disappointed and mad. And you only have yourself to blame. We warned you about what was gonna happen. Take it or leave it.

>>17825219
>It's a non-committed answer to keep a possible creeper away without making him mad.
Again, why would she even bother talking to me if she saw me as a "creeper"
Friends of mine who were in that situation would just cut contact cold turkey with them

>>17825225
>Friends of mine who were in that situation would just cut contact cold turkey with them

SHE IS A PERSON. A singular person with her own wishes and desires. Stop trying to make sense of her by means of other people.

DO you know why you do that? Because you don't really know her. You are a towel where she cries and bitches about life. She isn't opening up to you. You provide emotional comfort.

How do I know? Because she doesn't think about you. She doesn't seek you out. You are the little pet that comes to her to comfort her. You also don't share interest, hobbies or activities beyond class. You have nothing in common. She is not dating you even when you are asking. What else do you need?

Look at the situation, stop projecting and try to see what we are saying. What the fuck do you have with her? Long talks about nothing that you have to start? Or long talks where she gets emotional discharge and then doesn't need to bother to call you?

And you are no victim. You only think of her as a date, and you want to change her. You want to have her because, in your mind, it's your reward for helping her. And she is so shy she won't ever leave you.

Read what you write. It's obvious to all of us, but not to you.

>>17825234
Fucking hell, I am done dealing with you.

You are rehashing the same argument over and over.

Literally everything you assumed is wrong.

>>17825242

Really? Correct me. Where am I wrong? What did I say that was false? I took it all from this thread. I made nothing up.

>>17825243
For the most part she doesn't bitch about life stuff to me. (obviously it slips in occasionally)

We do have shared interests. (EMT stuff, Music, Politics, other stuff)

>What the fuck do you have with her?
Usually long talks about what ever pops into our heads. That I usually, but not always start. (One of the big things is EMT stuff, which is a common interest for us)

>>17825234
Not all people "realize" their true desires and wishes. It is through encounters you can adjust and re-adjust them. SHE IS A PERSON IF she lets the encounters, the thing out-of-her-comfort zone coming to her for later she could decide what she actually wants. It's clear from what she's doing to OP right now, she hasn't made that decision yet. But if OP keep trying, things will happen (could be good or bad in the end). Any encounters, any attempts you gave to reach people are worth it. Imagine a world where you just simply assumed people all wanted to be left alone. Nightmare.

>>17825252

Wow. So that's the part where you have a problem. Not the fact that she is not dating you. Not the fact that you are planning on changing her. Not the part about trying to make sense of her action by comparing it to other people instead of actually looking at her.

News flash! Music and Politics is small talk. Unless you are in a band or running for president, it's not part of you life in any significant way. It's not important.

EMT stuff? Like emergency doctors? Is that her job? Her project? That the fuck does that mean?

But more importantly: You hang out, right? Have you kissed? Hugged? Held each other? Is there any possibility of physical contact?

Is there any possibility of a relationship beyond "she looks at me in class"?

>>17825260
>Imagine a world where you just simply assumed people all wanted to be left alone. Nightmare.

When the other person isn't putting much of herself... then assume she wants to be left alone.

> SHE IS A PERSON IF

Nothing. She is a person, full stop. She wants things, and you are not the one to tell HER what SHE wants. That's you fucking savior complex talking. "Saving her from herself!", right?

>>17825262
>EMT stuff? Like emergency doctors? Is that her job? Her project? That the fuck does that mean?
We're both in the same major in college, and have plans to join our respective VFD's as EMT's for the same reason. For her, she has just began duty at hers, and I'm holding out till summer to join mine.

>You hang out, right?
Yes, not often though, but yes.

>Is there any possibility of a relationship beyond "she looks at me in class"?
I think so, and some friends seem to think so as well.

>>17825267
Who hurt you? No one ever reach out for you or fight for your love? Never once in your life?

>>17825275
>We're both in the same major in college

So class. I said you had class in common. So you have small talk from class, politics and music. Do you also talk about the weather? Come on! That's called small talk!

>I think so, and some friends seem to think so as well.

Why? Why do you all think that?

>>17825282
>So you have small talk from class, politics and music. Do you also talk about the weather? Come on! That's called small talk!
Ignore the common interests with EMT stuff.

>Why? Why do you all think that?
We were in similar situations. For him it worked out

>>17822435
I want to make this clear
she
is
not
going
out
with
you.

Either you are a troll who is baiting all of us or a person with no self respect. All of your texts are full of pressure and insecurity towards her, you are being at the same time too pushy and awkward. I can Imagine you being a skinny-fat balding dude who never had pussy in his life and is trying to get laid with a shy, glasses wearing chick.
All of the people I know had their relationships fairly easy- the guys just acted up, asking direct questions with no hassle, no thirst like you do.
Your messages reek of low-testosterone and insecurity. I suggest you ditch the bitch, even if she is the only girl you got going.
She is slowly driving you crazy to the point where you are asking questions on an advice board, posting your cringy-ass text.
>of when you might be free?
>honestly? no clue.
>no clue
>no
Don't you see she isnt interested in you at all?
Does she hug you? Kiss you? Play with your hands or such?
If she doesnt, this only means she doesn't like you.
The fact that the girl says we can always give it a shot! indicates that you can always do it, but she either is not in the mood/ doesn't like you but respects you for liking her.
>a job
>fire department
>family stuff
>kind of a lot
My gf had more shit than this girl, piano lessons, ballet, fitness, singing, painting and her day would be full.
But when I said lets go out she would always arrange atleast a 2 hour meeting with me.
The fact that you act so cold with her, treating your relationship as if it was a training session or some sort of camping trip doesnt mean that she will like it.

Case closed.
Abort her.

>>17825278

They did, and I decided to fight too for something I wanted.

I never had someone tell me "No, see, THIS is what you want." I'd tell them to fuck off.

>>17825284

EMT is class, that what you are studying. Do you know what small talk is? When I tell people about my office work or my classes, it's not a deep personal connection. It's just small talk.

>We were in similar situations. For him it worked out

So, AGAIN, you are using some other people to decide how your relationship with her will go. I asked you why do you think you have a shot with her, specifically?

>>17825288
>EMT is class, that what you are studying
Separate from class. We are both nursing majors, and both decided to do that in our free time. Neither of us are under any obligation to do so.

>I asked you why do you think you have a shot with her, specifically?
We you asked why "Why do you ALL think that?"
And I answered why one friend thinks so.

For me probably mostly how shed treats me differently than just about everyone else, including those who would try shit with her.

>>17825286
>I never had someone tell me "No, see, THIS is what you want." I'd tell them to fuck off.

Could be because you are contrarian jerk? Are you rejecting it truly because you don't want it or because "uh muh ego I know what I want" and simply don't want to introspect?

>>17825307

Oh, I'm introspective as fuck. But do you think she can't tell he is interested? He is asking her out. When someone wants something out of you and is telling you what you want... it's pretty obvious he might not be on the level, you know?

>>17825306
>For me probably mostly how shed treats me differently than just about everyone else

That is vague as hell. I treat my enemies differently than other people. I treat my only brother differently than other people. I don't wanna date them.

"Differently" means nothing. You don't have a reason to think she likes you, or else you would have said already. You want her to like you because you like her.

>>17825313
She was showing interest was before I even started talking to her, or anything.

You typically don't go out of your way to sit next to someone who you don't give a shit about. You typically don't make sure that they can see you. You typically don't give them your number before getting to know them a bit in person.

>>17825307
At least I'm willing to give it a shot, and accept what ever the out come.

>>17825315
>You typically don't go out of your way to sit next to someone who you don't give a shit about. You typically don't make sure that they can see you. You typically don't give them your number before getting to know them a bit in person.

I've got the number of girls with boyfriends, girls that made it clear they don't like me, and guys. I've seated next to them and they have looked for me because we can talk and work well together in class. I barely know these people because I literally only share classes with them. I've been to their birthdays with their friends and family. We eat together regularly.

So no, not a single thing you said proves shit. Sorry to tell you people get more interaction than you seem to think.

>>17825323
Sitting next to them just for the sake of doing so? Without actually talking? And her glancing over every so often?

>>17825325

Sitting next to them just for the sake of doing so? Without actually talking? And her glancing over every so often?

Yes. I barely talk to other people in class, as I like to focus, but we can exchange looks if something funny or stupid happens.

>>17825309
>When someone wants something out of you and is telling you what you want... it's pretty obvious he might not be on the level, you know?

Aren't relations supposed to be reciprocate?
I am saying that it is too early to assume she is not interested. She still indecisive, she needs more evidences.

>>17825330
>She still indecisive, she needs more evidences.

Evidence of what? He made it ll pretty clear already.

>Aren't relations supposed to be reciprocate?

This is the "nice guy" logic of attention in exchange for sex. No, just because you give doesn't mean the other person owes you shit. Specially if the other person isn't actually calling him, he is offering everything from his own end.

>>17825329
You really aren't getting the situation that usually occurs are you?

Sitting in a mostly empty food court, at the counter, facing a wall. With no one else around really.

And just randomly look at each other every so often, for no reason, without saying any words to each other?

>>17825336
>And just randomly look at each other every so often, for no reason, without saying any words to each other?

Is that supposed to be romantic or some shit?

Also, if the food court is empty, I will sit with someone I know, even if she is reading on her computer and I'm on my phone.

What you describe is not the basis for a relationship. Are you really so blind?

>>17825341
>>17825336

I've sat with professors this way! Come on, this is not special or "a moment". Sorry dude, but you are just having a crush.

>>17825341
But again, you say
> will sit with someone I know, even if she is reading on her computer and I'm on my phone

What you said would make sense if you were at least somewhat friendly with them, and spoken to them on occasion.

In my case at this point in time, we didn't even know each other. Beyond just classes we shared.

Also, I would see her in the food court alone, even if there were other people from the class around. Even if they were actually friends.

>>17825345
Again, this was before I actually became interested in her, and she was just some random girl in class.

>>17825349

Ok, lets try something else:

If she was so into you from before (I doubt it, but I'll play along) why don't you have more gestures now?

I asked you for signs you had a shot, and you give me something from months ago. Even after you talked, you have no new signs. What does it say about this imaginary relationship you have?

>>17825353
>why don't you have more gestures now?
Still still exist, but we don't see each other in person much anymore.

And after we started talking, some new stuff popped up, and still is on going.

>>17825360

Don't lie to me. You don't even mention stuff now. We have seen how you two talk. We know she isn't going out with you.

What do you want to hear? You are being stubborn and you are just plain wrong. There is not a relationship there. You have to know it by now. I t doesn't matter why, it's just that there is not an opening. Not a chance.

>>17825363
>You don't even mention stuff now.
Well given how we don't see each other now, kinda hard for definitive signs. The only one that still happens is the one with eye contact from a distance and kinda freeze for a moment and smile.

Also, I am refuting damn near everything you said with evidence, and yet you repeat the same thing over and over again

>>17825369
>Also, I am refuting damn near everything you said with evidence

Evidence of what? That she sat next to you and didn't speak?

Read this from way, way back:

> if you are too shy to even go out with the person or talk face to face, then there's no relationship there.

>>17825372
>if you are too shy to even go out with the person or talk face to face, then there's no relationship there.

And remember, that circumstances can always change.


>Evidence of what? That she sat next to you and didn't speak?

And every other thing I mentioned. Along with when she attempts to open up in text sometimes, but then closes up again.

>>17825385

>Along with when she attempts to open up in text sometimes, but then closes up again.

And you are gonna break her out, right? I repeat myself because you repeat yourself.

Here is a simple and final question: Is she taking any steps towards having a relationship? You are, you already did. She is blowing you off.

Wanna go savior on her? Read my comments about it and this dude: >>17825212

Here's a summary, and then I won't repeat myself anymore:

She is not available, for whatever reason. If she won't put the effort, she is not interested enough.

You already made a move and it didn't work.

You have no signs of interest even after growing "closer".

You have nothing with her beyond small talk. You talk about the same shit I talk with any person in my life.


Wanna keep banging on a locked door? Be my guest. I wanna see you back here when it finally dawns on you you have no chance. Or maybe you'll begin asking about how to change her mind, as you seem very keen in telling her what to do.

Grow up.

>>17825391
I've been reading all your replies, and I seriously think that there is some underlying factor that is causing you to give such horrible advice.

>>17823707
The bad thing was if I remember correctly was how she reacted and talked to you. Post the old convo from before also, I wanna see it.

File: 4.jpg (176KB, 719x1280px) Image search: [Google]

176KB, 719x1280px

>>17825721
This one?

>>17825733
>She doesn't respond for 40 minutes
>You send another message

What are you doing man?
The conversation has turned into boring small talk about classes and semesters and shit. Its dead.
Just stop texting her and hope that she notices

>>17825767
Eh, that was from like 3 months ago.

I don't do that any more. And the conversations seem to last a bit longer now anyway

>>17825771
Mate if you've been talking for 3 months and nothing has happened, it won't happen.

Girls use the "I'm too busy" excuse and keep talking to you. I'm not a woman hater like some people on this site but sometimes they simply want to talk to someone who isn't female because it's different. You might as well prompt her and see what she says but don't expect anything.

>>17825801
The thing is that we really don't talk too often really. Monthly or twice monthly at best.

And the thing is that the "We can always give it a shot!" is a step above the "I'm Busy" excuse

What you propose I say as a prompt then?

>>17825816
What the hell OP , you're still thinking about this?

Just step back and think how foolish this is, just drop it already and save yourself even more lost time and hopes

>>17825819
Not gonna take a single persons opinion on this.

Just leaving it open to other interpretations.

Everyone gave their opinions. Vast majority says that she's not interested right now, best case scenario.

He doesn't want to listen and keep bumping it. He'll only stop when someone validates his opinion.

So OP, go on. Keep pushing the limit. You'll break it and she'll fall in love for you for being such a man, a gentleman and a scholar. She'll do mad love to you on green fields while the sun sets and turn everything into golden tones while you both have orgasms toghether.

There, you happy? Good. Check in later when she has to be clear as say with all the words that she's not into you so that we can laugh while you say women are worthless whores

>>17825816
if you talk once a month and it's such a boring conversation there isn't much hope, but ask her out what you got to lose, hey

>>17825912
Eh, the conversations content depends on whats going on at the time.

Sometimes they are interesting, other times, kinda boring.

And we have spoken the most over this past week or so compared to the past

>>17825926
Honestly if you STILL haven't asked her out by now, what makes you think you ever will and get a yes?

3 months is a long time to talk with no date. You've become so attached to the thought of dating her you can't accept that it won't happen. Sucks.

>>17825981
Honestly part of the reason I'm still bothering with her, is that I would be content with her as an actual friend.

And Also this >>17825002 is kinda what my assumption is. That she is interested but too nervous and shy

>>17826018

So you hold unto the only one agreeing with you while ignoring all the ones disagreeing with you. That's called confirmation bias, so you know.

>>17826036
Eh, just about every other place agrees with that. (Maybe not the shy part, but the part about her wanting to do it.)

It's literally only here thats saying that its a No.

>>17826057

Then why are you still here? /Adv/ has been saying this is dumb for a while, yet instead of going for someone that belives in you, you are still here. Are you trying to convince us or convince yourself?

>>17826059
Eh, just bored at this point, so I'm sticking around to kill time

I already know what I'm gonna do with this

>>17826057
give links to other places you've posted this

>>17826065
https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-interpret-a-girl-saying-We-can-always-give-it-a-shot-in-regards-to-meeting-up

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/dating/q2204135-what-could-this-indicate-about-this-girls-interest-in-me

>>17826064

Then, see you back here when what we said comes true. Don't jump straight into /r9k/ though.

>>17822587
Trust me, you fucked it up. You need to seek out other women bro.

The book "Models" by Mark Manson helps.

>>17826203
What did I do that fucked it up?

>>17822914
Of course that's what you're thinking. I used to be the same situation as you. I rationalised it to myself, instead of accepting that I am needy. I mean, really, hardly ever speaking to her in person and expecting chemistry! You need to accept that you're a pathetic fuck and move on from her. And maybe, in future, you can actually talk to girls instead being a snivelling shitbag behind a screen.

>>17826214
I don't know, it was probably a combination of things. I can tell that you fucked it up at some point, though, because of the dynamic in your convos: your messages are longer, you're being turned down repeatedly, and there's no flirtation. Sure, sure, you're convinced she's being genuine. If she really wanted to see you, she would make time. But in reality, she doesn't want to, not that much. She's turning you down without letting you crash and burn, and it may seem strange, dishonorable, even, as it does to me, but girls are like this nowadays.

My advice to you is to pursue other women, because this will give you more options and as a result, you'll be less needy towards her. Try talking to other women. It doesn't matter if you fail: you have to understand that failing is a part of getting better at something. This is a cliche, I know, but here's a famous quote by Michael Jordan:

"I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

You don't know how true this is until you live it. Embrace failure as a part of life, because that's how you improve yourself.