So I met this girl and we hit it off pretty good. Lots of closeness,

>>17821863
Shit is about to hit the fan.

This girl is using you. You make her feel good etc but first of all this is only temporary and she knows it. As soon as the initial romance is gone (it will eventually fade away, it is natural) she will lose any interest to you and she will move on faster than you would ever expect.

She made it clear that she is not going to commit into your relationship at all.

So, IMO, you should just take this relation for what it is and not rise up your expectations about it. In fact you have to be ready for it to end at any time by her suddenly losing interest to you.

You have to know that girls really do have a different mind and that they can very easily and unscrupulously do things such as cuddling or being very intimate, have sex etc with people for which they do not have any special feelings for. All that matters is that this person makes her feel good in the moment. With girls, it is not about you, it is not about your couple, no, it is about themselves.

>>17821889

I thought about that. But she really seems like she's trying her best not to get feelings for me but does so anyway.

I'm probably prepared to lose her. I mean at least I try, like you said, I will probably be heartbroken anyway because I'm a weak romantic shit. But yeah, I guess it is probably the best to expect the worst.
Something in me just hopes that she either asks me to come with her, or that we can hit it off when she's back. My biggest hope is still her getting feelings or seeing that it doesn't matter in what situation we met, but that it matters that we met.

But oh well, you sound too reasonable, besides the using you - because hell, I'm using her in some sort also, because she gives me good feelings, she is great in bed, and in all regards perfect for me atm, but I still try to date other girls as long as she doesn't make her mind up - so nothing wrong with her getting romance and emotional closeness from me.

I guess I have to achieve some mindset that says "Fuck it, it's nice as long as it lasts."

She didn't expect to meet you at this time and she may be afraid to be hurt. See how it goes. If you get closer, you'll be emotionally invested in each other, and if it doesn't work, you will have tried

If she thinks you're seeing other people, she may also be reluctant. I'm in a very similar situation, and it bothers me he could be seeing other girls when he's not with me. Actually, that commitment is what we need for me to feel secure with him, because then I would know we were an exclusive couple, but because we haven't made a formal commitment to each other yet, despite heavy romance, there is doubt, probably from both sides, yet my feelings for him are very strong. I'm not seeing anyone else but not sure he knows that

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>>17821922

She just have to tell me. I'd commit to her, she's like the girl I've always dreamt of.

But I don't think she will commit, because why commit to someone if you don't see him for half a year or longer soon? I hope she might think about traveling together, that would be beautiful, I wanna break out of my boring life for a while, too. So why not doing it together? Then it could work out, maybe.

I just have to hope and see, and if it doesn't work I have to be prepared to suffer as less as possible, like >>17821889 that anon said.

>>17821940
It's fact that I don't know if he's seeing other people, then crying self to sleep each time I worry about it and how hurt I will be if I find out he is, that is stopping me confronting him about it but now he's approaching me each time I see him yet I still don't know enough about him to Know what the fuck is happening

>>17821863
This does seem kind of like she's using you. You didn't mention your age, but if she's going off solo traveling I'd guess 20s? It's definitely a time when girls don't really want to get tied down. See how it goes, but prepare yourself for the worst.

>>17821940
Why would she commit you if she thinks you're seeing others? If she's not special enough to you at this stage in the relationship, perhaps she doesn't think you view her as more than a casual thing and therefore not better than the others you could be with, if that makes sense. Even if you're offering her these things, if you're still seeing others, then she sees no reason to commit to you of feeling that you feel much for her. I know for me, it's the most painful feeling in the world

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>>17821966

I'm 28, she's 27. She's really more the kind of girl who doesn't commit too fast because she's really shy and quiet, she hasn't had many guys before me. I don't really care about her not wanting to get tied down, I just want her back in my life after she travelled around. I'm just hopelessly romantic.

I wish I just could come with her.

>>17821969

I don't know if she's seeing others too, she doesn't seem like the kind of girl that does, but hell do I know? So what? We talked about falling in love, so why would she explicably tell me not to fall in love with her. If I'd tell that I did (and I fucking hell did because how could you not fall in love with a girl like that?) we could sorta commit. Doesn't even need to be a tight relationship at first, but we could work on it.

I fear I'm in some sort of a 500 Days of Summer situation, where I fall hopelessly in love with a girl that is seemingly the one and perfect for me, just because I project something into her, and in the end she will be out of my life because it could've never worked for long between us.