Need advice about what to do with my life. I live in Russia,

But always had aforementioned problems.

Today I am still:
1. Addicted to MMO and other computer entertainment stuff.
2. Have communication anxiety.
3. Have 'superiors' anxiety (case of performance anxiety?)
4. Have difficulties diving into desk work (though I never tried anything else, so it may be just major procrastination as I postponed my homewoork as school as well)
5. Enjoy fantasy and daydreaming.
6. Tried drawing (since I drew at school and thought maybe this is my passion) and coding (since I heard its easy to respec into coder from any job) but procrastination got into the way and I dropped it.
7. Not a virgin.

I dont know what to do with my life except that every time is extemely unsatisfying, I curse myself from the morning till the evening, dont do anything productive and just brew in my anxiety and incompetence.

>>17815956
Hey man it sounds like you are suffering from something really similar to what I had about like 5 years ago..

So it never reallly goes away, it always comes back every once in a while but you can get it under control man. You just gotta believe in yourself. There is way to much to explain for me to do it alone but if there was one thing that helped me alot it was this

https://www.amazon.com/Rules-Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/0061911690

Torrent it or buy it it will help brother.

>>17815967
Looks like a pick up book, are sure this is in the ball park? (sex is least on my mind right now)

>>17815979
its more self-help, with women yes being the focus, but you say your issue is communication anxiety. Best I have for you, might be worth a look :p

>>17815981
Sure, man, i'll have a look.

Look up "the anxiety & phobia workbook"

>>17816115

what about my job? my procrastination involved with it? is it a personality flaw i should keep challenging? or is it just not my type of job and should look somewhere else?

quit thinking about it m8. its sounds cliche but seriously just stop caring. live your life m8. maybe even start drinking or doing drugs to fill the empty gap.

>>17815956
>7. Not a virgin.
describe your first sexual encounter to me

>>17816218
well here's the ever important question: do you enjoy your job?

Anything can be salvaged, but without passion you wont be able to make the effort. You know many have changed careers even in their fifties, if this job doesn't bring any pleasure into your life then perhaps you should look for another way?

>>17816323
I courted woman for some time, invited her to my place, made excessive touching, she then stripped of her clothes, i tried to perform but couldnt maintain erection, after 10 minutes i tried again and managed to stick in. After about 30 seconds of fast paced movement i took out, came over her body and checked out this from my list. I did not disclose verbally that i was virgin at a time.

>>17816330
No, i hate it with the passion. But I cant deter whether this is a hatred towards one particular job or having to work in general. I also cant deter if I hate this activity or I hate anxiety and procrastination accompanying it.

>>17816344
>But I cant deter whether this is a hatred towards one particular job or having to work in general
(the word you want is determine by the way, deter means to discourage someone from doing something, like you deter an attack by strengthening your army)

Well no matter what your problem is you're going to have to work, I'm sorry but there's simply no other option if you want to eat. But you were very quick to say to me that you hate your job, that says a lot. Perhaps there is a different capacity in the legal profession you could find that suits your interests better? I'm sorry but I don't know much about law myself.

Personally I work on an ambulance crew, it took me a long time to find this job but it suits me quite well I think. Every day is different, I never know what's going to happen until it does, there are no long term projects to work on, I'm on the road all day so I'm far away from any pointless office gossip, the day goes by amazingly fast, and best of all I only very rarely have a supervisor around me, only in the most serious times.

I think I worked over a dozen different jobs before I found this one and I hated them all. But even though I enjoy this job I don't really enjoy medicine so I don't want to do it forever. I'm going back to school in January to finish my history degree and my hope is eventually to work in the diplomatic corps.

Bit by bit move in a different direction and find a job you like a little more than the last one.

>>17815956
You are addicted to MMO and computer stuff because there is no entertaining alternative. You should engage in activities that don't involve the computer, especially if there's any hobby you already have, or a hobby you've thought about trying but just haven't started.

If you still feel some anxiety over being physically inactive go to /fit/ and READ THE FUCKING STICKY and READ RIPPETOES STARTING STRENGTH IN ITS ENTIRETY and you'll be on the path to having some muscle. From there you could join a casual sports groups, like soccer or basketball or whatever is the favorite Russian sport

Also, start reading more, and start going out with friends more, and just talk about whatever suits you. The more you get a way from the computer the better you will feel


What is it that makes you feel anxious about work, Russianon?

>>17816507
No, i dont have physical fitness anxiety, im doing slight pull ups training every other day and am satisfied with that.

Things that make me hate my work are - having struggle (and i mean real struggle) to get into working flow/process, this is major procrastination problem probably (or maybe its because im not suit for the job and my inner self is fighting my life choice i dont know).

Then, it is communicating anxiety. I have to involve in many conversations and involve in a clever, accurate ways which demnd calm and composed mind. However i have almost physical attributes of anixety everytime i face another person, to the point i hav to clecnh my fists secretly.

I also have this extreme anxiety towards superiors - enveloping in this category people from public office, judges, clients with dominant personality. If i have to report about something to my superior or made an argument before superior I have to tune myself for the whole week beforehand and all this time im severely depressed.

>>17815946
just a little thing: talking with people online might help with your conversation anxiety.
Just go on public teamspeaks of discords, or talk ingame.

>>17816522
Well you need to start standing up a little more, and justify it. Don't like the way your boss is treating you? Work harder and don't let them shit on your improvements

Really though, you seem like you're upset because you don't want to talk to your superiors at all. Maybe you don't like them. Maybe it feels like they're bad or unhelpful. Maybe you're just afraid deep down that someone with authority can do/say stuff to you and you can't do anything about it. You seem like you're putting everyone who's very assertive social above you, in your own mental hierarchy. Start speaking to those superiors- the office people, the judges, the clients- for reasons besides reporting or arguments. No relationship, even one between a worker and their boss, can be founded just on conversations strictly related to work, unless both have the right personality. You don't seem to have that, and that's not a problem.

Speak to your "superiors" more often and you'll find they aren't "superiors" but people you just need to work with. They're not gonna hurt you, they just want some work done, and they wouldn't mind a chat either even if they don't show it. If you don't feel like talking to those people at the moment just talk to anyone else, a coworker, a friend, a pretty lady, random people on the internet. You seem nervous because you haven't felt deep down that you're in relaxed situation to talk. It sounds like all communication is tense for you, and you respond with a tense but clever mind. Being clever is good, but you need to let go a little caring about the things that make you nervous, like the boss who has little patience or whatever it is you don't like.

What do yo do to tune in? If that means becoming very focused without talking to anyone else that could be a cause of your depression.