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What up /adv/.
In a complex situation, but probably a pretty common one.
I'm a 20 year old male, kissless, hugless, yadda yadda, you've heard this one a million times before. I want to get a girlfriend, and understand the avenues I need to take to meet people for that purpose. My question focuses on what I should improve about myself so that I would be attractive to girls who aren't bottom of the barrel landwhales. Going to put my negative 'stats' below, and you outline what should be a priority of mine for improvement.
290 pounds, 6'1.
In the process of counting calories and working out daily. Was 340 a few months ago, so its coming down fast.
Never been on a payroll, only job I've ever had has been odd jobs for family and neighbors.
No car, no license.
My hobbies are drawing, writing, music, and other arty shit.
The problem here is I haven't practiced these things in forever, feel unjustified in bringing them up in conversation.
Vidja.
Pretty shit at conversation and socializing. General social awkwardness, even if I enjoy socializing.
Previous experience with mental illness, psychosis induced by sever anxiety. Mostly resolved, not currently on any meds, but want to keep it at bay.
Hardcore INFP personality type.
long story short with the INFP shit is I crave to be around people and connect with them emotionally, but also have a tendency to push them away or overthink relationships. Introverted.
So which one(s) in this list are a priority to work on before looking for qt3.14's and expanding my circle of friends?
Here are some strengths I (think) I have, for reference.
6'1, tall without being a fucking giant
Decent facial structure
healthy thick hair, zero chance of balding in my family.
"emotional intelligence" meme. Sensitive to how others are feeling, and good at acting accordingly.
Drive to improve in other areas.
That's pretty much it. Just your basic half decent human without actually having any redeeming qualities.
Wat do?
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>>17814282
Get a job. Find useful skills. Become a meaningful member of the human race.
You may want to start with those basics before you worry about being attractive or interesting, because no one's going to date you beforehand.
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>>17814282
go to meetup.com
go to meetups for the things you talked about so you can socialize and get back into them
but also try new things. dodgeball is a GREAT way to lose weight.
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>>17814330>>17814358
>job
gotcha
>useful skills
What exactly are you referring to when you say this?
>basics
That's why i'm here.
>meetup.com
Yup, I was aware of this. Seems useful, but I want to iron out my basic "yup, your a human" qualities before pursuing its use.
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>>17814368
you responded to the wrong person for most of that.
that being said
>i want to iron out my basic 'yup your a human' qualities
the only way to do it is to go socialize, stop acting like the worlds a stage and you're the only one dancing naked on it.
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>>17814380
I replied to both.
>you're the only one dancing naked on it.
Interesting way of wording social anxiety, I'll keep it in mind.
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>>17814402
i threw in the dancing naked bit cuz i actually danced naked on stage once before, but thats beside the point.
the point being that you dont need to take yourself so seriously. its not your job or obligation to make sure other people are having a good time. even if you;re chad thundercock some people just dont want to talk to you cuz they're living their own lives.
so go out and mingle. its literally the only way to figure out how to act like a human
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>>17814282
>290 pounds, 6'1.
here's your first problem. Lose 100lbs. minimum. Go to /fit/ and read the sticky. Start lifting.
>No car, no license.
fix that. Women aren't interested in a man that can't take care of himself.
>Never been on a payroll
Get a job. It doesn't have to be anything awesome. Go flip burgers at McDonalds if you have to, and treat the job like its the most important thing in the world. Never miss work, always be punctual and put 110% effort. Managers notice this and will give you more hours and pay, and if they're assholes who don't then you'll have something to put on your resume for another job. Even a shit burger job will give you applicable skills so don't fall for the "ew minimum wage" meme.
>Pretty shit at conversation and socializing.
practice, and don't beat yourself up over failure. Confidence is everything and as long as you have that you''ll be fine.
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