Femanon here again that tried vocaroo responses before, thread

asking for a friend, to test your ability to solve anything

let's say i'm male from singapore. they have mandatory army service (3 years). let's say i have chronic depression, and i would have shot myself if i joined the army.

i left. doesn't matter what happened in between, but now i'm in australia, studying in a university. my grand aunt is paying for everything. i am in the course i chose because it leads to permanent residency in australia, thus i can legally stay afterwards.

the problem is that my passport has expired. i don't know if they will give me permanent residency without a passport, and i can't renew it without either going to singapore, or going to the singapore embassy (where they could arrest me on the spot, if i enter).

current "plan" is to just attempt to get it anyway, and if rejected, to lay low and stay illegally for as long as possible, if they won't listen to reason about why i can't return to singapore (and why i defaulted, genuinely worried for my own life).

have also considered that maybe i'll be deported and have to pay a fine, or be imprisoned, or both, and then still have to do the 3 years service anyway.

what do, femanon?

Hey, think you could give your opinion on my problem with my relationship? I posted it a thread about it a couple of minutes ago.

>>17803175

can you fuck off please

there are vocaroo threads on /soc/
saged.

solve my problem

i met a perfect girl, to me
i genuinely love talking to her
she calls me for a couple hours and just talks about shit and maybe i play piano for her
and i'm just unhappy
inexplicably
i want her and i had fun and she says she did but i'm just left sad

How do I ask a girl I knew in highschool if she liked me? I don't plan on pursuing it and we haven't talked since graduation (4 years ago) but I'm just curious for an ego boost.

>>17803301
This is honestly all your responsibility to look up laws for both Singapore and Australia and any free/by fee legal help you can get in your area. As well as any resources you can get as an illegal immigrant.
But looks like you are screwed and have to serve a sentence or be conscripted, the embassy will notify the govt, and the former will take place if you return to Singapore.
Shack up with an Australian girl. Apply for asylum. Seriously, look this up yourself because asking on /adv/ is retarded.

>>17803301
kys you're not a therapist

File: 1476983250872.jpg (207KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

207KB, 640x480px

>>17803355
>>17803391
Leave her alone

>>17803380
are you OP? just realised i misread the OP. i wanted a vocaroo response, because of reasons.

and it isn't me, so i'm not that bothered. the actual person in question isn't doing shit about his own situation so i'm not going to get dragged into it. i just wanted to see what the femanon OP would say about it on vocaroo.

>>17803355
Not the point of this exercise and not the point of vocaroo. My advice, kill yourself.
>>17803371
Yes, you were one of the questions I didn't get to answer last thread. Know that she will most likely have moved on, might be in a relationship already, and might have forgotten any feelings for you. There is equally a chance that she will remember you and be surprised that you would talk to her again--then open a possibility of a relationship. All this of course, regardless of you pursing her or not, just mentioning that you will have a chance. Message her on facebook and say a certain event made you remember her, include a detail about your life and then ask how she is doing. Let the conversation develop and then talk about your time in school together, then say that you were wondering if she ever had feelings for you because your/her friends would always hint at it/rumors/whatever "a bird told me" thing would be. Be direct and honest about the question. Just make sure there is enough developed conversation beforehand.

>>17803371
You're a fgt I've always hated you.

>>17803406
>>17803367
question bump
just text please

>>17803401
My bad, I did vocaroo before but I got self-conscious. It is more personal in vocaroo format but I feel like I can get more words out in text and not sound like a nerd saying them out loud.

And no problem, I had a cousin from Ukraine here, where previously he stayed in China and worked in a nightclub. He wanted to illegally stay in the USA but all resources were exhausted once we buckled down and helped him--mostly because he didn't want to work, go to school, or marry. He returned to China . My grandmother stayed illegally as well. We took her to a hospital famous for helping any illegals, put all the documents on her foreign address, she died a couple months after the visit and no expenses were paid. It is messy and your friend is responsible for putting in the effort to seek legal aid, asylum, or any documents that let him stay for work/school. He is a criminal in his own country though, lol. He has to reach a certain time period of years spent abroad working, or have left when he was young to be granted a pardon.
However, again, he should have had a bit more foresight.

Do girls hold any of their previous relationships as significant? Or like think back about those memories?

As a guy I'd say I do.

>>17803435
yeah, it was a last minute panic kind of thing. the interim between singapore -> australia i gave him a place to stay in another country until he figured out his next step.

but that's okay about vocaroo, i was just curious. i'm sure you don't sound like a nerd. but people doing stuff like that intrigues me, because i would be 2000% self-conscious and could never do that without being on the brink of an anxiety attack. fuck, thinking about it has already increased my heart rate and made me sweaty.

>>17803367
You want me to figure out what makes you sad about this situation? Is there any more details you can give me? Maybe instead of phone calls, physically go out with her? Please, give me more details.
>>17803345
I guarantee you they had sex. But know that the way she feels about sex is nil. She doesn't acknowledge it, she doesn't feel anything for it, it's a memory she wipes every single time and it is a job she has to do to get paid. This phenomenon is very common and very unfortunate. Let's hope this guy loves her and will break this marriage for her, and not use it as some sort of tactic to get her to put out (if she never did have sex with him), or to manipulate her in any way. You might as well blackmail him. He owns her financially, with car, with apartment, with visits, with whatever. It has his name on it in print, he can confiscate anything and kick her out. Then she's gonna have to cycle through more sugar daddies.

She is a fool, she has to collect this money and store it in a bank or under her mattress and then get enough to set her family free and in the meantime she should also seek employment. She needs to cut any ties she has with this man in terms on finances. All the money she receives should be through wire-transfers, tax-free gift transfers, cash, anything like this. No contract type of deals. Her family is old? Not able to fend for themselves? Why aren't they on welfare? She needs to get a certain amount to them and then say she can't give any more and it is up to them to help themselves. Because if they ever found out how she got that money they would rather live on the streets. She can try being a cam girl, that is much better for a relationship and will get her money. Hell, even stripping is better than this. Transition her into those. Get her to move in with you, help her and all, but, this is her own choice and her own responsibility. She needs to decide because at this point she is way in over her head.

>>17803449
It is a fun exercise for me to practice better speech, I did about 7 vocaroos then quit. It is also a lot harder than I expected, I had to record myself at least 5 times until I got a good recording where I put all my thoughts out in a passionate and positive way. I don't listen to them again past the first point as to not psyche myself out. But, it is a great exercise for speaking and speech in general, and being anonymous is a great buffer from personal attacks. I got a few compliments on my voice.
>>17803441
It depends, if anyone is in a long term relationship of a year or more, they tend to forget those relationships. If you like short term relationships you will think more about the positives of the previous relationship and bring in certain expectations to the next one. Some relationships do become significant memories, that a person dwells on, as a part of their life like any other, and it shouldn't be held against them---unless they're in contact with that old flame of course. But generally every relationship to a person is ideally a step up from the previous one and every relationship after has always a one up on the positive aspects compared to the older one. It's how people grow and know what they want out of one. If love enters the picture then all previous relationships are usually forgotten until the rose colored glasses wear off. Either way it is nothing to worry about and is remembered like any other part of a person's life.

>>17803493
Good to know I won't be forgotten I suppose. My ex usually has short relationships, and according to her I was "the best one she had" at the time. Also was the longest I believe.

My first ex wanted to get back in contact with me 5 years later and said our relationship was important to her life.

>>17803520
Relationships like your exes had where they remembered fondly of you were remembered in a different regard from others. They were remembered like positive chapters of life---compared to "Yeah, Bobby was no. 1, Chad was the second one, I'd give him a 7/10, Dylan was third, maybe a 6/10."
It's like, "I finished school that year and I remember so well that I was so happy, Robert changed my life when he believed in me, I wonder how he's doing now after so many years."

So this girl in my organization is pretty qt and makes me nervous but also try harder with socializing with her. Anyway the semester is almost over. I don't get to see her often with the way its set up, but I was planning on asking her out for coffee.

Semester is ending though. Not sure if I should save it for next semester or not.

Also how should I ask her? We don't talk unless we see another (don't have her number) and its not the entire time but we get along and talk for a decent amount when we meet. We usually play argue often over things like when we were doing a scavenger hunt or were paired up in a team for an activity. For all she knows I'm not a nervous fuck when I see her but I overthink so much.

>>17803463

We've talked about how she feels about sex, her father was sexually abusive so it's definitely not traditional. She's afraid of it to the point that I really believe that she hasn't had sex with this guy, but all the signs point to yes.

We live in campus housing so if he were to try and manipulate her into putting out he would have to hold her family's wellbeing over her head... and then I'd definitely break up with her and tell her to deal with her family first.

I'm going to check on the traceability of her payments. She can't strip, do cams, as she wants to go to med school and is worried about being outed.

>>17803624
I already answered your question in the previous thread. Your only time to ask her and develop your relationship with her is now. Next semester will be too late.
Ask her for her number during your last session with her and offer a date. There will be no other chance and next semester she will lose any accumulated interest for you and it'll be back to zero.
The last day establishes that it is the last time she will have this chance, so she must take it now, same goes for you. Do not think over it, do not mull theoretical scenarios over in your head. Just do it when the time comes. It is a five word statement to reach your goal. The rest is up to her.

>>17803646
I think you've got me confused with another guy with a similar problem but thanks

>>17803301
>taking relationship advice from a woman.
TOP KEK. Unless you are a red pill women I doubt you have any idea what it takes for a male to keep a relationship together. Besides maybe gift advice or something trivial.

I'll bite.
>pls respond

I don't know what to do with this girl. I can't say we're dating. We've established that we both like each other. Neither of us has been in a relationship before so we're both kind of clueless. We've been seeing each other for about 3 months now, both 21 years old.

This is what's bothering me. What we have between us doesn't feel like a relationship. We're not close. This whole time we've only hugged like 2 times, and that was just recently. We haven't made any further physical contact. Never held hands or anything. When we talk the conversations don't really go anywhere. It's always the smallest of small talk. She doesn't really respond much to what I have to say most of the time. For example I show her something I like on my phone and she flatly responds "oh cool" and ends it there. She never makes eye contact and she's never complimented me about anything, but I do both of those things to her. I can't be myself around her because she doesn't respond the way most people do. It's hard to talk to her and make her initiate things. I'm not really enjoying my time with her because of this.

Can I really just blame this all on her shyness and inexperience? What do I do? I don't want to 'break up' with her because I still really like her but I'm getting increasingly more worried.

Do you believe there are just some people you never get over? Like the Gwen Stacy to someone's Peter Parker. Peter loves Mary Jane no doubt, but his true love is Gwen Stacy.

How true is the statement "A girl has probably masturbated/fantasized about you"

>>17803301
>started going out with friend about a month ago
>unfortunately we've not really been getting closer and even maybe kinda getting a bit more distant
>Example: when we used to hang out in our group of friends everyone would joke that we would date due to how much we interacted with each other
>now if we hang out in the same group of friends I feel like we hardly talk at all
>don't think it's due to lack of interest on either of us but rather due to awkwardness (we were friends before)

Earlier I got advice that when going from 'friends' to 'dating' you should try to start doing different things from when you were friends with just the two of us.

We did go on a couple 'dates' but we live pretty much right next to each other (college) so I think it would be better to see what we can do day to day right? But all we were used to doing day to day was stuff with our friends so idk what to do.

Also I feel like she might be having a hard time (slight depression) which would explain a lot but if that's the case what should I even do?

I think we both want to be getting closer but desu we're both clueless AF lol

I know everyone says to try to keep doing stuff together but if we go by how we met (so what we have in common) it'd just be the same hanging out with the same friends

If we just start looking for random other stuff then won't we just be giving up our mutual interests which are what brought us together in the first place? That doesn't make sense. On the other hand sticking with the same interests is just too familiar and we aren't really getting closer when just being around the same group of friends all the time

It'd be great to spend more time 1 on 1 but idk what to do

We both want this but are too inexperienced lol wat do

>>17803301
What is the half-life of Strontium 90?

>>17803301
please explain the Albigensenist Heresy.

>>17803655
This thread is open for all types of advice, not just relationship.
>TOP KEK
>red pill women
Advice: cut internet out for a month and any problems you've been having in life will instantly be solved.

>>17803635
Stripping is safe if discreet against outing, common phenomenon of women stripping to pay for school. Camming isn't, pardon for suggesting it.
This can go a couple of ways.
1: She finds a new sugar daddy because this one has overstepped boundaries by confessing love whilst knowing she has a partner and they're in a strictly Sugar daddy/Sugar baby relationship. He needs to be ditched and replaced, preferably while she's still with him, so she has that leverage of leaving and immediately getting funds from another, or even multiple men.
2: She can tell her parents where she is getting money from, they feel incredible shame and try more on their part to put effort toward their own funds. Apply for welfare, look for more/other jobs.
3: You are okay with everything but put some boundaries in the relationship/ask her straight answers from questions you've been having.
4: You move on.

I suggest first option while having her notify the new sugar daddy that she is in a relationship already and you establishing further boundaries.

>>17803664
The best way to solve this issue, though a bit...in bad taste, is to have an intimate moment. This kind of moment can be achieved with booze, weed, psychedelics, or any other drug. You really need a great upheaval in your relationship and common ground for you to air your grievances and worries. Booze and drugs usually level this field quite easily and create moments where you really feel close and safe to let all this go. Plus you're going to have some great passionate sex.
The way to do this the other way is to invite her over for any normal day, a date, make it personal and romantic, and start from the top. Where do you think our relationship is going? I've been feeling like this, it seems like you feel like that. Why aren't you doing this, while I do that? You MUST communicate, you MUST. You must sit down and have a civil discussion about the nature of your relationship or you will forever pussyfoot with no boundaries and no expectations and nothing to show for your companionship. First option is the best, second is if you're ballsier. I highly recommend you get something in your system first to make you feel better and lower those inhibitions---but the discussion MUST take place. No beating around the bush or hints, just straight up talk heart to heart. It will make you closer with her guaranteed and will solve all your anxieties about this issue. Come with only love in your heart at the table. And be firm if she starts the pussyfooting.

>>17803756
Unfortunately, yes, I do believe this. But the more time you put in front of you the easier it gets to get over this person. You never fully recover but you would never want to jeopardize whatever current love/relationship you have. You must move on. Life is unfair. And God forbid you visit them 20 years down the road and they're a recovered addict with a husband that doesn't love them and 5 kids she already pushed out, just a shadow of what she once was. Keep the memories rosy, romantic, and pristine, but move on. Or you can fight against it, but don't fight your whole life, it is pointless. You weren't meant to be for a reason. Known or unknown to you.

I asked this in some other threads but just get "she's cheating" instead of some alternatives.

My gf wants me to go out and experiment since she thinks I don't have enough notches under my belt. She's been in a really weird way sexually lately where we've been trying out a lot of things and out of the blue she said I should go out and do it. Is this something you'd do? Should I do it or just see it as a test and say no? She seemed pretty serious about wanting me to do it and said it wasn't a test or a joke. She said it's because I'm still in my early 20s and should get to experience these things since she's had a few partners in the past and I've only had 2.

>>17803859
I masturbated to some old biker guy that talked to me at a gas station. I don't know, don't ask me, I'm not a visual person when I masturbate, I'm an outlier in this situation.

>>17803301
Who promoted Peress?

>>17803301
How long is a piece of string?

>>17804110
No, How Long is a Chinaman.

>>17803863
I already answered this and you replied back to me in a thread previous I made. You already have all the answers you need and all the advice you need. Sounds like you're not ready for a relationship, and neither is she. And sounds like you are too much afraid of leading her and thinking a bit outside the box. Women love adventure and spontaneity, but you're here asking for advice on what hobbies you should get. I think you're much too far gone. Again, plenty of people gave you advice already, stop overthinking it and take action.

How can I get rid of being a judgemental loner who wants to change everyone, and can't tolerate it if things aren't going my way?

My mother is like this and I can't stand her for this reason, but I believed too much of her antisocial bs, and can't get rid of it.

>>17804049
I actually own a 14th century Bible and I study theology as a hobby, but this is something new, thanks for sharing--I'll look into it. Exciting.
>>17804045
Longer than the half-life of Scrotum 80.
>>17804104
Is she a cuckquean? Does she mention wanting to watch you do/record you do it/bring other women? Does she get off on the thought of you fucking other girls? Does she want you to tell her you've been with other women? Will she get mad if you say no? It might be a guilt thing that she wants to clear from cheating, it might be a fetish, it might be genuine concern. You have to ask her again, why does she want this. And ask her to explain, further than "I have had more partners than you, go out and get experience." Maybe you aren't fucking her correctly and she wants you to practice. Question her and voice your concerns. She might be with another man, it might be he guilt thing, or even if it's not, accepting such a thing will bring great distress to the relationship. She might hate you for it afterward and not realize how much it will infuriate her before the act. Like when a guy obliges to the wife that yes, she can go out and fuck, then gets angry and pissed and realizes that he wasn't okay in the start. How long have you been with her? This is a sometimes common phenomenon on partners that have been with each other for a long time, but otherwise strange. Can you elaborate on any of this? Has she no dominion over you in terms of her lust and jealousy? Does she care about you enough to be protective over you? Is there anything you can read between the lines? Any events that are suspicious?

>>17804123
What's your opinion on theology?

>>17804123
We've been together roughly 5 years, we pretty much met not long after we finished highschool. Nothing has been drastically different lately, she's been dealing with depression and social issues for quite a long time too. She's also not that sexual at all really but when she is, she is. She's got a bit of a domination kink and that kind of thing.

I've also considered that she'll hate me afterward so I'm going to voice that when I see her next. I want to talk to her about it seriously but I'm afraid that wanting to discuss it again and at length will make her think I'm really eager to go do it. I can't lie, the concept does sound good but I'm afraid of what could happen as a result. She does say it isn't cheating but if I had emotional attachment or formed one, then it would be.

>>17804108
>>17804110
>>17804112
5'2

Do you know what the word "advice" means? And what question means in this context? You fucking ape.

>>17804117
Well, this is part of why I made this thread for myself. I understand you. You can try religion, psychedelics, leadership positions, volunteer work, or you can embrace what you are. You get what you want by virtue of positive suggestion and tactics of persuasion so you don't seem like that bad of a guy. Or you can try and lessen your ego by enrolling in experiences that make you one small cog in a great machine. Be more socially active, and the more socially active you are and the more acquaintances you know and revolve yourself around, the more helpless you'll be to changing everyone and worrying about everyone. People can't help themselves to live the life they want and to seek help if they choose. It is pointless to worry about them unless they come to you asking for advice. If an idiot wears a boot on his head and wants to run for president, who cares? Let him do it, how does it affect you? What good will come out of changing him? You can tell him to remove the fucking thing and quit being ridiculous but he's still an idiot. Just try and be more social and keep company to your standards but focus more on your own happiness and what little things you enjoy in your life before it's over. It is pointless to change/fix others while you have yourself as the prime entity that needs every bit of attention and importance. Who did your mom marry? Maybe find a complement to you like your mom has. I wish I knew more but I know your exact situation and I'm still trying to maneuver around these personality traits. I eased up when it ended up hurting the ones I loved through my constant control and insensitivity, as well as shitting on anything and everything I didn't like--that were beloved hobbies of theirs. The guilt and shame and anger at myself was enough for me to ease up.

>>17804092
She's definitely not into drugs or booze or things like that, and we normally meet away from home so for me to do that then drive myself home, I dunno.

I'll try to go about the second way though.

>>17804125
Opinion? I think studying Catholicism and its offshoots is the only thing of importance and the rest is just trivial, boring, bullshit of pagans.

>>17804134
There is only one way you can do this. Beforehand establish each and every boundary you can to make sure both parties will be satisfied and no one will get hurt in the process. And if someone gets hurt in the process they must voice is right away and any sexual conduct outside of the relationship must cease and you will do everything you can to alleviate any pain/anger about the situation as a couple. If your love/bond is strong enough than any negatives to come out of this should be easily dealt with and forgotten. But, it is a can of worms. Have a talk with her and establish all these ground rules, then try and go for it if it all comes out positive. I think you'll be fine, as long as you two are willing to work out any unforeseen consequences.

>>17803301

Can ya answer this for me?

>>17804146

>>17804149
Yeah, try the second way. Plus she'll think you're sexy for being so firm and raising the issue like an adult, and having it be communicated rather than built up into any anxieties or passive aggressive attitudes. I think passionate sex is guaranteed if you go for it afterward. These kinds of talks/moments are defining in relationships, also very intimate.

>>17804154
Are you a Catholic?

>>17803330
>i'm in australia
Rrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee

Fuck off, we're full

>>17804154
Well I'd be willing to work something out if it went hideously wrong. I know I'm a hypocrite since I said how I don't want her to do it too (which she really doesn't want to anyway) but she identifies as one of those sexualities that's only attracted to personality not gender or attractiveness, so by her own rules she'd be cheating.

I'm so confused by it all. Do you have any ideas on why she'd be wanting me to do this? We have been trying out some other stuff lately so I've wondered if she does have some secret kink about it but I just don't know. On the one hand I really do love her and want to stay with her for the rest of my life but on the other I'm very aware that I'll only be young once and I've only had 2 partners including her.

>>17804140
>Religion, psychedelics
Sounds like running away from the problem and burying my head in the sand.

>Leadership positions, volunteer work
How? How do I make a good team and be good at teamwork?

>or you can embrace what you are
I don't want to, I hurt and alienate too many people. People just can't tolerate if they are told they are wrong, and I'm bad at communicating in a way they would appreciate my advice, even if it's from best intentions.

>You get what you want by virtue of positive suggestion and tactics of persuasion so you don't seem like that bad of a guy
Can you help me with this?

>make you one small cog in a great machine
Tried it. Didn't help. It felt like a waste of time. I didn't find the connection with anyone, and felt like an outsider.


>more socially active, and the more socially active you are and the more acquaintances you know and revolve yourself around
How to be less of a social retard?
My mother was an antisocial loner too, and she raised me that way. I was banned from socializing when I was a kid, she totally pussy whipped my father and drove him mad with her constant nagging, closed-upness, and not letting him be with friends as well. I was raised in that everyone is inferior and their opinion is all what matters, and practically in a family warzone, that the only thing that matters is academic performance and that I had to be better than everyone.

>but he's still an idiot
Guess you're just as judgemental as I am.

>things you enjoy in your life before it's over
I tried hedonism as well. It feels like a waste of time too. I want some purpose in my life, but in a way that's not hurtful for others.

>Who did your mom marry?
An engineer, and drove him mad because she couldn't separate from her mother and let her being controlled by her.

> I eased up when it ended up hurting the ones I loved
How did you do it? This is what I want.

>>17804161
No, Russian Orthodox.
>>17804157
Why would it be a mistake? What negatives do you foresee out of this? She gets free dinner and a good conversation from a stranger. Sexual energy will be easier to invoke Saturday when you have more alcohol in your system. Alcohol's general purpose is just that.
>>17804163
Sapiosexual...? Attracted to personality? So, like everyone else? The only way you'll find out the latter is if you ask her. You can't speculate with nothing to work with. Just ask her and implore her to give you more details and what brought this on, express your concerns. You're not a hypocrite. You have your boundaries and she has hers, you're different people with different expectations and can handle different things. Ask her, quit speculating and worrying yourself to death, you have the right to know and to question her.

>>17804179
>No, Russian Orthodox.
Do you actually practice it, or you were just born into it?

It's a rarity seeing a religious girl here at the asshole of the internet and the porch of hell.

>>17804179

I just didn't know if Wednesday was too soon or if dinner would have more intimate implications

>>17804179
Well I have to talk to her about it, no doubt, I'm just so nervous about it and hate having to bring it up again (we talked about it two or three times last week). I've honestly been losing sleep over it for days now, it's like my emotions and sexual feelings have been put in a paint shaker.

>>17804173
Volunteer work to lessen your ego, leadership positions so you can instruct teams and people and be a judgmental person that wants things his way---but with benefit.
My mom is exactly like this and married an engineer too! He just stopped caring and lost all emotions.
Well, you can get a relationship with a woman, drive her mad and lose her, then realize what a horrible person you are and how you must change and use mindfulness techniques and therapy to readjust yourself and keep it all in check. You see your own plight and what repercussions it has had on your relationship with others, why won't you bite your tongue? Why won't you think about what you say and how it affects other people? Why must you shake everything up and control and belittle? How hard is it to bite your tongue and ease up? Why do you have to lose everything before you see what harm comes out of your behavior?

>>17803301
Why are girls so delicious?

>>17804181
I was born into it and practice it as all Russians practice it; a part of culture, not a part of religion. I go to church on holidays and during unfortunate events. I pray, and own multiple bibles, texts, icons, but read the DR bible. I've had a few miracles in my life. I'm agnostic, and more of a history and art lover. But, I would love nothing more to believe. All of these hobbies is just me trying to reconcile with God.

>>17804191
>Volunteer work to lessen your ego, leadership positions so you can instruct teams and people and be a judgmental person that wants things his way---but with benefit.
I'll try this thanks, but I want to change myself, because I hate it when I alienate people who want to be my friends, and I can't appreciate them. Same thing with relationships though. Girls fall for me, they try to show it, and I either don't recognize it, or end the relationship after a while because I want to change them too much.

>My mom is exactly like this and married an engineer too! He just stopped caring and lost all emotions.
I feel bad for my father, but this behavior is running in my family. My mother was treated like a subhuman by her parents for being a girl, and she had to show the world that she can do a lot on her own. Which is true, she became a doctor and she's 2nd in charge in a hospital, but she didn't realize that if she were more open to people, she would have achieved much more personally and also would make the people around her much happier.

>You see your own plight and what repercussions it has had on your relationship with others
I do see it now. I don't need to fuck up other people's lives to recognize that. This is one of the reasons I'm here on /adv/. Here I can give advice that is useful and changes people.

>why won't you bite your tongue? Why won't you think about what you say and how it affects other people? Why must you shake everything up and control and belittle? How hard is it to bite your tongue and ease up? Why do you have to lose everything before you see what harm comes out of your behavior?
Because I have a drive to make things better, and that clouds my judgement and my ability to observe social situations well. I'm fairly certain this comes from my upbringing because at home performance and doing something meaningful was No1, and feelings and everyone else mattered little.

>>17804202
>DR bible
What's that?
>miracles
What happened to you?

>>17804210
>>17804202
Why can't you believe?
Why do you hold a grudge with God?

>>17804184
Won't know until you try. And don't you want the intimate implications of dinner? Why not just make it a late lunch, or a cafe, or any of those?
>>17804190
If you're losing sleep over then please, bring it up and finish the ordeal and get the answers you need. If she loves you then she doesn't want you in pain over this. She wants what is best for you and maybe thinks this is one way to do it. Be honest, she'll appreciate it. Don't lose any more sleep over this.
>>17804196
Titty milk seeps into the flesh.

>>17804196
You focus too much on the delicious parts anon. Try eating out their assholes.

>>17804209
I understand, it was the same way with me and my family. They eventually gave up that behavior when I had a complete breakdown followed by suicidal depression, got kicked out of a straight shot to an Ivy league, I eventually ran away from home. I'm back with them and that behavior is also coming back, but they say it is from a place of love.
You have to unlearn these behaviors the best way you can. Try softening your heart and sympathizing with humanity. The greatest achievement so far for you in regard to this, is recognizing the problem. Practice being mindful, read therapy resources/forums for people having this issue. I googled "I'm controlling and judgmental" and thousands of articles/forum threads popped up. I think reading some and seeing perspective will lighten your load, to see how others came up with solutions.
Again, I understand everything, but the solution to my problem was losing many relations and romantic relationships to this issue---all throughout my life. It took nearly all of that for me to take myself aback and criticize my own way of thinking. Control people, but know their limit, know who they are inside and out and know what is possible for them at that moment. For example: I want my 13 year old sister to stop listening to idiotic music and reading idiotic articles from Buzzfeed. I want to mention to her every single time that she is an idiot for doing so and engaging in these behaviors. Will this get me what I want? No. Will she stop? No. Will she stop but still do this behind my back and enjoy reading the material? Yes. The only possible strategy is for me to let her do those things, but also offer her an alternative and hope that she goes for it. Tailor music to her liking, and books she might enjoy, and offer them with enthusiasm while not mentioning anything to do with what I disapprove of. The books I screen for substance and my own approval, as well as tailored to her own personality. You get more flies with honey.

I got fired 3 times in a row, One was a big company and the other two were shit jobs.

I'm too ashamed to even fill out job applications at this point.
I'm so fucking ashamed of myself. Feels like everything I do is wrong.
I was living on my own for the better half of 3 years and had to move back.
I'm 29, I want to go back to college and get a degree in something but, I can't even choose a major, uhh I don't want to be stuck like this anymore but, there's nothing going for me.

How can I get over this when all I do is ruminate and play video games.

>>17804227
>I had a complete breakdown followed by suicidal depression
I've been there too. I'm so different from them. I don't want to be antisocial and hurting people, and they just do their thing, and live their life pretty obliviously. Their religious bigotry doesn't help either.

>they say it is from a place of love
IMO, it's from a place they don't know better.

>Try softening your heart and sympathizing with humanity
This is extremely hard for me, because the first thing I notice is their faults and their imperfection. Being a social retard makes it worse, because I'm bad at communicating what I want.

>Practice being mindful, read therapy resources/forums for people having this issue
Can you give me any good resorces? Reading your experiences and that others have this problem who could overcome it already makes me feel better.

>was losing many relations and romantic relationships to this issue
I've been through this, I'm through the depression phase as well, now I'm at the I don't know what to do and where to start to rebuild my life phase.
It's very hard for me to get to know people who they really are, because I was pretty much sheltered from socialization all my life.

>>17804210
Douay-Rheims bible, the "true" traditional Catholic bible. Translated as best as they could from the original Latin.
This is a bit personal but I was sentenced to die and recovered from an illness, had multiple horrible conditions but lived. And my sister as well, many times where her life could have ended in an instant if not for some luck, fate, intervention. We were a sickly pair. It really humbles me to think about those times and how lucky I truly am. Of course, thank fucking God for the doctors too.
>>17804212
I don't hold a grudge against him, but, it is a visceral feeling of this disbelief. Something prevents me, like something prevents me from committing suicide. It just holds me back from accepting him into my heart. I've tried for a decade now. I think I should go to church more often.

>>17804242
I had similar experiences but with accidents. I almost died at least a dozen times if not for luck.

You must hold a grudge, if you want to reconcile.

>>17804238
Why did you get fired? Was it your fault? Accident? we can't help where life takes us, we can recover and we can live through it, there is a silver lining. I'm going back to college too, I don't know my major as well. Have you tried taking personality tests? Myer-Briggs, enneagram, D&D alignment? They'll narrow down career options based on personality. Or you can take free career tests as well. You can also make an appointment to see a college counselor. Don't worry, living with parents is nothing to be ashamed of, don't think of positive excuses, no one can judge your life, only you know the true circumstances. Living with the parents can open doors for you, for financial gain and time for yourself worrying less about the finances. Get another shit job, big deal, get more experience and more to show for your resume. Revisit hobbies, get new hobbies, go out on walks and plan out how you want your life to be. Find out what you want out of life and what goals you have, if you forgot what you even wanted. The worst thing you can do is stagnate. If you are at rock bottom the only way to go is up. You have to fight for it. What about trade school? Commission jobs? Hospitality/management? Real estate? Certification programs? Things like that. There are options, you just have to sit down and do the research and some soul-searching. Please don't give up, you can sit complacent now and feel pity and waste away the years, or you can pity and then make some moves. You have to find it within you to fight for it. Forget the past and try and make that future because that's all that's going to matter to anyone. Your future wife won't care if you fucked up and got fired three times in a row somewhere in the past, she'll care about if you are a great man, now, in the present. This is a test of character. Ease yourself into it and do a thing at a time and then you'll get back into the motion of things and it'll be smooth and one step closer to any goals you might have.

Will these threads be a continuing thing? You're probably one of the most helpful people on here.

>>17804256
It's like, maybe at one point I felt Him, and believed in Him, I can try again, I can get that back. I feel like I'm letting Him down. It's a push and pull feeling of belief/unbelief. Maybe it's just poor wording. I watched the Seventh Seal tonight, what coincidence.
>>17804241
You ever thought about getting a pet? A pet can't help being retarded sometimes and it'll teach you to hold yourself back and take care of it regardless of its shortcomings. Much like a child. I don't know the resources, I just google my personal problems (mostly with abuse) and get some accounts and solutions, the best ones from personal forums dedicated to these issues.
http://confidentman.net/self-esteem/recover-critical-parent
You can look at cute animal videos, dogs greeting returning soldiers, sob stories, the movie I Am Sam, etc. Anything to make you cry really, and make you feel for a bit in the safety of your own bed and recognize your own humanity.
Socialization/conversation/social skills all come from practice. It takes longer for both of us but eventually we reach the stage of being normal and conversing and making relationships becomes easy. You just have to practice and put yourself out there. Even delight the simple-minded for some chit chat and easy conversation.Don't keep them close to you, but just keep them for the entertainment and charity work.For the practice of socializing.You don't have to take anyone seriously, or get to know someone deeply. Know everyone at a shallow level but let the ones that mean a lot and surprise you into your higher circles.It seems like you need to start developing and letting out your feelings in a constructive way, and that's by being vulnerable. Can't get a therapist or a counselor or friend to talk to? This is a huge task but you gotta start somewhere with identifying what personality traits you gotta work on, and I guarantee you will get progress the more you work on it. Worked for me. You're not going to be like this forever.

>>17804268

It was all my fault. Fuck I even had too many chances. I think I want to work for the coroners office but, when I try to actually do something,
I freeze and despair that I'm only going to fail at it again and again. Its as if nothing I do in life is good enough for anything.

I have given up on the idea of marriage, I don't even want a gf anymore.
Nothing is going good for me. I know I have to make a change but, I'm paralyzed in knowing that I'm only going to waste time.

>>17804289
I had cats and hamsters. They didn't really help, because they don't communicate. My biggest problem is with meaningful communication and noticing what's up with others. I ususally hurt people when I try to change them. The only place I got positive feedback for my advice was an ex highschool classmate and here on /adv/ I've been called wise, and told that my advice is really good.

>You can look at cute animal videos, dogs greeting returning soldiers, sob stories, the movie I Am Sam, etc. Anything to make you cry really
Tried it. It only made me oversensitive, and more self conscious and nervous that I'm hurting someone.

>we reach the stage of being normal and conversing and making relationships becomes easy
I hope so. I just get so nervous when I'm among people, my mind is just blank. It's much better in front of a screen.

>Don't keep them close to you, but just keep them for the entertainment and charity work
This is what I'm trying now, and your advice really helps seeing it in a new light.

>>17804241
Again, please know that you will not be like this forever. This is a matter of finding out who you are, what goals you have, what you want out of life, what is your true happiness. What would happiness look like for you? This is also a matter of research, of looking up these resources---google any question you have that is personal and it will come up with dedicated forums with dedicated users that have went through it. While you do this you have to make yourself vulnerable but in safety and comfort, and revisit your childhood. Your parents were critical and judgmental, and so are you. Guarantee you, there are guilty pleasures you have, habits you quit, childhood hobbies you were ashamed of, things of these nature that you still love and always loved but stopped for fear of shame and repercussion from parents. Ex: You loved a certain cartoon but any time your parents came into your room they'd call you a moron for enjoying trivial shit like that. Learn to indulge and to let yourself feel for trivial things. It will make you feel more human and make you more understanding towards others. You will notice your own quirks and faults. Do good deeds, go out of your way to employ small generosities into others lives.
There are countless ways, but love is the unifying factor for all of them. But it starts with self-love. If you work on yourself I guarantee you will come out changed and for the better. Its something you gotta work on, and be mindful about your thoughts and actions, and notice patterns in your thinking, and catch yourself displaying those negative traits. It'll all fall to habit and you'll develop those positive habits. It's all just research, practice, habit, et cetera.

>>17804289
My experience with this is that this happens when we confuse God with the image of God we create ourself, and we try to solve our problems too much on our own instead of letting God to help us. An image of God can act like a drug. Giving hope and good feelings to people, but it's not the real thing, and it actually prevents us from having a deep relationship with God.

Don't be sad that you're letting Him down, every one of us is a sinner, and God knows this. Just do your best to be the best you can be, and try to love people the best you can, God will do the rest. You may not click with anyone, you may not be able to love a lot of people, but this is to be expected, because unlike God's our love is not perfect and we don't know all.

>>17804286
I can but, what will I say? "Hey, it's femanon here, you know the one."
>>17804298
You're wasting time right now!! You are wasting time by being in a mindset of wasting time and not doing anything and then wasting more time and being stuck in cyclic thoughts about wasting time while wasting time. Relax, you won't find GF, GF will find you. You have to take little steps. "I want to work at coroner's office." "I'm afraid I will fail." Well, get the education first, submit the papers, get the resume, meet up with him, find the location of your future job, a million different things will have to go into play here and you're fucking up your own success by not even going one step in the right direction. You need a clear head. A clear and sober head. Get better sleep, melatonin helps. Don't stay up all night brooding and ruminating over things you can't control while consuming and playing video games. You gotta start somewhere, start little, it is progress without fear of failure. You get an education but don't end up working in a coroner's office? Who cares, you can branch out a million different ways from the education and from the amount of jobs you worked, fired or not. You have to build your own value as a person--this includes working on self-improvement. You seriously wanna dig yourself into a hole like this? You can either be biting your nails or you can go one step in the right direction. You just need one step and then one step becomes two and you already got the job. You're in a rut and you're not thinking straight. Indulge a little, explore a little, cut yourself some slack and then get to business. Go easy on yourself right now. You have to eat right, sleep well, and not go into any self-destructing behaviors or cyclical thoughts. It's all in your mindset right now, it's all in your head. Get it clear first. Go get some anti-depressants if it is that bad, please, put some importance on your mental state because you are the only one stopping yourself

>>17804325
You could just be Vocaroo femanon and have your own threads? Honestly you've given everyone a wealth of information and I'd like it to continue.

>>17804308
Thanks for the encouraging words. It's just very hard for me. Depression took a lot out of me, and since I got depressed my attentionspan and memory isn't really what it used to be. It also make it seem nearly impossible that I'm actually loveable.

>>17804325
Write a bit about yourself, who you are, why is your experience and advice valuable, and tell people to ask for advice.

>>17804321
I try and do this, and I'll try and continue to do this. But I feel like my relationship with Him isn't the real deal, it isn't genuine. I feel like it has no integrity. I feel like I am deceiving myself, like I'm playing pretend. It angers me that I can't feel so genuinely in my faith, that it feels so shallow. I'll think over what you said, maybe what I feel is good enough, maybe I'm just stopping myself in the first place. I want my actions to be what God's love means to me. I've forgotten about Him out of frustration. It used to be why I changed for the better, my parents are practically athiests. Religion being purely a cultural thing is so... destructive, such deception on their parts.

>>17804336
You feel that way, because you confuse your image of God with the real one. That's why you feel like you're decieving yourself. I had the same feeling throughout highschool. What helped me is reading and learning a lot about God, the character of God. Try to find your place in this world, where you can express your love the best. Try not to judge God, and be open to Him. Why did you get frustrated?

>>17804328
Hi, I'm vocaroo femanon but I don't do vocaroo anymore, I just write, unless you implore me to then I'll do it.
>>17804329
I had chemotherapy/child abuse/depression, et cetera. I understand you, my attention span and my memory is just... I can't grab hold of it. My memories aren't memories, they're just emotions of the time I had during a certain period, blocks of darkness, concepts. I remember mostly bad. The good that I remember is all the same, someone extended out their time and genuine kindness toward me. Without expecting anything back, with only this genuine kindness and love in them---parents were always cruel and always worked on a guise, kindness was given on a transactional basis. My best friend in middle school leaves in 7th grade, I'm alone for all of 8th, just like I always am. She comes back one day and sees me and runs up to me all across the courtyard and hugs me and I can't believe she remembered me, I can't believe I inspired joy in her. I cried. Another memory, I sat alone at lunch and a girl sat next to me, I'm a freshman and she's a sophomore, told me I looked lonely. We were friends all year and I always had a place to go to sit now. We talked about God a lot, that's when I first considered becoming interested. Third, another Christian girl, was very beautiful, popular, wanted. We carpooled so I got to know her real close, she was very rich and invited us over to her house all the time, told me about Christ as well. I told her about my situation of depression and child abuse, she didn't help but she did listen.
All these people---regardless of religiousness---had selfless love and genuine kindness toward me that I never felt before, it was such happiness, I could have cried at each thought. That's what you and I should give to others. Raised by judgment and transactional relationships, and guises of kindness and superficiality, all while harboring resentment in the heart-to learn the antithesis of this is to learn happiness & love

>>17804349
>Hi, I'm vocaroo femanon but I don't do vocaroo anymore, I just write, unless you implore me to then I'll do it.
That's a good enough thread opener I think.

I would also be curious to hear your voice, the last thread is long gone and I didn't get to hear any.

>>17804331
I can do that. I just don't want to alienate a few folks by being too specific on my details. I don't say much about myself here and it let's people with any problem ask with no expectations. But I will try that next thread.
>>17804344
You're right. I got frustrated because I felt like no relationship is better than a disingenuous, deceptive relationship with God. I think I should join a group, seems one talk with you is enough to solve this problem, then again, I was never asking and for that I feel shame. It's hard with no guide.

>>17804349
Actually this is what I want to do. To be genuinely kind to others, and help them. I just don't know how to communicate it with them the way they understand it and accept it. Instead it usually ends up being hurtful for them, or they treat it like they successfully exploited me for giving them something valuable. I'm just bad at communicating and socializing.

>>17804364
Be very general. Just don't be the next grey advice giver shitlord #486453. Write something that makes you stand out, and that makes people take you more seriously.

>>17804364
I felt exactly the same way. It was a hard lesson for me to learn that I practically knew nothing of God when I thought I knew him well, but now I think that maybe God wanted it to be this way. to make me feel more humble. If you join a group, try to join one which has good results, and be very critical of them. A lot of people who preach don't know what they're talking about. Sorry for giving unsolicited advice, but I just felt this is a topic I could help with, and I like giving advice.

>>17804354
I was called a fat nerd twice, and got called cute twice. Enough to put a dent in my intent. I can give excuses that English isn't my first language and I'm top heavy and I was laying down, but no one wants to hear those. ex:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1R9vMVo84a1

>>17804379
I think you sound pretty cute. It does sound like English is your first language though so I'm surprised it isn't.

>>17804376
My one priest/pastor at the Russian church was amazing, he invited me to go boar hunting and he trekked through the African jungles to help the Christian villages there hidden in enclaves, and he did a long mission in Alaska with the Inuits where he lived with them. He was the most badass guy I knew, pretty political too. I'll try and get in touch with him. And I appreciate the advice, this is such an out of the blue thing but something I've been really needing advice on in a long time. And I will be critical of groups, I didn't think to be since I'm so eager to learn anything, but... there sure are a lot of different protestant divisions, I don't want to get stuck with Mormons.
>>17804369
It's just practice, see what people like and what people don't like. What they respond to and what they feel insulted with. You just need to witness some cause and effect with your actions. Make a stranger's day, you don't see them ever again and you get an immediate reaction to gauge. Or children if you cross paths with one. Read articles and just practice.

>>17804382
Not only it isn't my first language, but I just came back from a two year stay in Alabama. I got told I sounded southern over and over but I suppose it faded now. Like some contagious disease cleared up for me.

>>17804386
Try to find people who already have a healthy relationship with God. Sadly there are only a few of them in our crazy world, but they do exist. Be strong, badass, and never forget, God loves you more than you think.
Mormons are a decieving cult with their polygamy and superstitions.

Sometimes I notice some women looking at me and smiling at me and such since I guess I'm pretty alright looking. How would I approach them? Context wise I'm talking about just being in the street or in a mall or something. It happens to me a lot and I feel like I'm missing out by doing nothing but just smiling back.

>>17804386
My problem with this, is that if I make someone's day, they think I'm weak and want more and more. People just can't appreciate kindness because they got so used to everything being transactional that if they get something for free they always see manipulation or stupidity behind it. It's hard to sell kindness without being a good communicator.

>>17804388
That's pretty interesting. What country are you from originally then?

>>17804399
Ukraine
>>17804393
To be honest, I don't know much about this, but here's a link:
http://theartofcharm.com/approaching-a-woman/how-to-approach-a-girl-youve-never-met/

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=what+to+talk+about+when+approaching+women

>>17804396
Well, if you don't appear as someone that often gives out kindnesses, then they'll be more flattered, more surprised, feel more special, and will think more of it. And in terms of exploiting kindness, give them the kind of kindness that is not exploitable. Such as asking them about their day, complimenting them, noticing something unique, doing a very small favor or courtesy... Things that are not by nature exploitable. And they can't exploit you if they are strangers or people that you don't see often or people that aren't that close to you. You can also be kind situationally, when it is warranted. During key moments, where any good human would be kind. You gain the benefit of being kind to someone, if they exploit you--either sense it about their character beforehand or move on. You did a good thing, you are the greater person, not them. If it is harmless exploitation/expectation--where they expect you to always do this for them, politely remind them that it isn't so. Especially to women. Again, practice so you'll look out for the signs, look out for when you can do certain things, what reactions are expected, et cetera.

>>17804424
Your advice is golden, even this single talked helped me a lot to. I really hope you'll find your way, and get over your traumas too. Now I believe that my biggest problem is that I'm bad at spotting signs, and that's why I'm hurtful to a lot of people. How do you spot signs? For example it happened at least three times with me that girls fell for me, I didn't even notice, and later their girlfriends told me how much of an asshole I was for being stone cold with them.

>>17804431
Even worse, when I tried to be kind with them but I didn't get the hints.

>>17804431
Thanks. In relationships communication is key. If a girl likes you enough to pursue a relationship with you she has to be able to know about your shortcomings and accept them as a small inconvenience. It's a small inconvenience because it just needs to be met with communication and understanding on her part to avoid any consequences. Tell her that you are lacking in the emotional department because of certain traumas. She'll think you're a jaded bad boy with a dark mysterious past or something, so it isn't that big of an issue to talk about. Make sure not to come across as self-conscious or in need of pity, or that you're defective, but come from a place of love---that you want this relationship to be good for both of you and to have all your needs met. Make sure to also tell her that because of this, you want her to mention any time she feels unhappy; any time you might do her wrong, or neglect her, or come across wrongly, or cross any boundaries, she should mention to you so you can correct it immediately and not repeat it. This will also show your commitment toward the relationship and her happiness, and bettering yourself. Let her know that you aren't doing it out of spite or malicious intent, but out of ignorance. She will believe you so as long as you show her that you do change your ways, and not blame it on this ignorance. Maybe you aren't being too romantic with her, maybe you aren't giving her your attention enough---this will also eventually open your heart more toward love by showing these romantic tendencies you have within you, and practicing being a loving man.

>>17804443
This is what I had to do with most close relationships, otherwise I'd push a boundary and go to far and be on a razor's edge of the relationship ending. They were all happy to oblige and understood my circumstances.

http://i.imgur.com/e6dqu8F.jpg

When we start talking again, should I treat this girl as a potential partner or just a friend? She was hinting at a relationship a while ago but I said I would rather stick as friends. However I'm now interested but at the completely wrong time - she's begun to talk to her ex again and apparently wants to get with a few guys in clubs after she gets back from a trip she's going on soon. Her best friend also said she's still interested in me but doesn't know whether to go ahead with anything anymore. Basically, what's my best course of action for when we start talking again?

>>17804443
Thanks. You seem to be really experienced, and you helped me a lot. I think where I'm lacking most is the communication department, and the being observant department. My other problem is gaining people's trust.

>>17804392
Oh, another thing. Don't try to force a relationship with God. Let things work out on their own pace. Do your job, and let the Holy Spirit do theirs. If you try to do the Holy Spirit's job, things will turn up messy real quick.

>>17804457
It's hard to get close to someone you hurt by being too controlling and judgemental. Nevertheless, thank you a lot for what you told me, I'll save this thread, because you gave a lot of good advice for me here. I really hope life works out for you, and I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

>>17804454
>and apparently wants to get with a few guys in clubs after she gets back from a trip she's going on soon.

You thirsty AS FUCK.
Go get you dick wet and stop thinking about this girl, it'll slowly pass.

How do you get over someone you're really in love with, and who hurt you badly? I just can't hate her, but I know that I have no future with her.

>>17804473
She said that before she learned I was interested in her and idk if that's changed at all. If she continues talking with the ex and actually goes out and hoes around after the trip I'm defs permanently friendzoning her.

>>17804498
Good idea.

Ok long story short, I'm crushing on this girl.
Nothing good about it, just a big NO.

Spent a weekend with her and a friend of mine,
started knowing her better during a weeklong trip during wich I guess I started getting some funky feelings.

3-4 months after that and I tought I was over it and spending time with her wouldn't be a problem,
but I saw her recently and realized that I'm not.

So best course of action would be to just cut her out of my life, except I can't.
First of all our meeting was due to a "tragic" event and if I just gtfo it would feel like betrayal, for me too.
Second of all we have big trips planned with this group of friends in the future, I can't just ask them to cut her out,
nor I feel like leaving this group (wich is the best I've ever had in my life).
Third, I've become closer to her family due to the tragic event aforementioned, her mother still gets teary when I leave after I visit them.

I don't know what to do,
she's asked me to spend a weekend togheter next spring but I feel like every moment I indulge is a mistake.
I should do something now that I'm not too invested into it, but I don't know what.

I think she's a cool person and I wish I could keep her in my life on the long run,
but I'm sure that with time the feelings would only develop and being unable to act on them would undermine our friendship.

>>17804140
>Will answer any question,


You never said anything about "advice"

>>17804738
what does it say above the box where you put your dumbass responses?
>>17804544
Just have fun and be friends with her while harboring this crush. Go through the big trips and if it gets romantic then pounce on that and give her the big reveal that you like her and go from there. But until then just go with it and enjoy your time with her, you don't have to act on this crush, treat her as good company, eye candy, and a pleasant experience all around. Nothing is making you tell her you have this crush then ruining all these group activities and relationships. You gotta show some restraint, some self-control. Masturbate before seeing her. Keep your head cool. If it becomes too much just let her know after you got these big events coming up. Or just subscribe to these group activities but keep your cool and be distant until the time comes for you to go on the trips/weekends.

>>17803301
How do I start a conversation with someone suicidal online, femanon? I want to comfort this one person, but I'm afraid I'll end up making everything worse...

>>17804468
Getting close to someone that you hurt just means you have to put in more effort and even fake emotions you don't feel or are incapable of feeling. Just have to bend over backwards to make them feel special again, to do things that mean a lot to them--sentimental details. And correct yourself and change as a person for them in the first place, so they feel less in danger of being hurt around you. Give them ultimatums: If I do this again you have all right to leave and I will never contact you again. Things of that nature, maybe not that harsh, but you know
>>17804454
I highly suggest your next serious talk is either in person or over the phone by voice. It'll make it much more personal, meaningful, and easy to explain when you have that emotion and feeling behind your voice. She seems to really like you and is now looking to fill that void you left her with. Hooking up with random dudes and talking to an ex. I think she's free to be persuaded to be with you. She's not too tied up in actual prospects. To get her back you got to have a heart to heart with her, and say how you feel and how your feelings are not confused anymore, how you know what you want and what you want is a relationship with her. Tell her you're ready to be on the same page and what happened before was just your great confusion and wrestling with your emotions--and that you didn't know any better and was a mess in mind and spirit. But you've thought over it and realized your mistake and would rather have her as a lover than a friend, that you gained some clarity and vision toward what you want. And you have to be completely serious that you're not neutral in feeling, or that you'll go back on your word and be confused again and you'll break her heart all over again. She seems pleased enough to abide by the rules of engagement you laid out for her, I think she'll be equally pleased to return to your life. Tilt it in the way that says, I was a fool that was blind but now I see clearly.

>>17805738
Why are they suicidal, what is their core issue that is making them suicidal? There are a lot of resources for this online on what you should say---need more details otherwise.
>>17804473
She's desperate, not the other way around. >>17804498
She wants dick and male attention because you ain't giving her any, you gotta be the only man in her life and I guarantee you she'll stop because any reason for her to do so will be gone.

>>17805764
Definitely next time I talk to her about this I'll do it in person as I'll be more calm and collected, but the night I had the talk with her I wasn't sure if I'd be able to hold myself together in front of her. Over the past week I was getting extremely anxious about the whole situation so didn't really want to risk breaking down in front of her. I think you're right about filling the hole so I'll wait and see how things go down before having a heart to heart with her when she gets back. I DEFINITELY have to commit though because she's not afraid to break hearts if you fuck around with her.

>>17805773
Yeah, kinda realised that this situation is a result of me ignoring her apart from as a friend. One of her friends also said to me she's comfortable flirting with the ex because she knows nothing will come of it, however isn't so comfortable with flirting with me like she used to anymore because of the current situation making going into anything serious right at this moment pretty hard (my leg's broken from a motorbike accident so can't really go out with her as much as we used to, and she doesn't come back from overseas until next year).

File: Hurts worst.png (52KB, 299x479px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 299x479px

>>17803301
What do I do if a woman I love doesn't feel the same about me?

Also she's my only source of happiness in life, so what do I do?

>>17803301
What are your thoughts on this?
>>17807077

>>17805764
How do you change as a person? It's easier said than done.

>>17806082
>Only source
>Life

You don't have a life if another person is your source of your happiness

I met a girl a few weeks ago and we have really hit it off. We have been meeting almost every weekend(she visited her parents on two weekends). We usually meet once or twice a week, and at the end of the day we usually stay up really late(Usually she likes to go to bed early) holding each other and talking and kissing. We are both introverts and need a lot of alone time, but we get along really well. We have common interests and like the same things, we talk almost constantly, think alike and sometimes finish each others sentences even though we haven't known each other for long. I have never met anyone like her and just recently I have realised how much I really care for her and want us to be officially together. Even though I usually don't like spending time around People I feel like I want to see her more often(though it may partly be because I don't have any friends here so I don't have much social contact)Still I sometimes fear that she isn't as interested about me anymore. On our last date(last friday) she wanted to go to sleep early but when I took her home we stayed in my car for a bit over half an hour just kissing and she said she had a good time( as I said we usuallu stay really late at her or my place). She also had said earlier that after our date she just wants the next six evenings to herself to catch up on some school assignments and to be alone. We also haven't messaged as much this week as we usually do, she checks my messages but doesn't always answer or answers a lot later, although now she's been the one that sends the first message(something she doesn't do so often). So I guess my question is this: am I just overanalysing and worrying over nothing? And should I tell her how much I really care for her and want to make our relationship official? If so, Is it better to wait until I see her again or is a message just as fine?

Ps. Sorry about any typos, posting on phone