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I feel like no matter what I'm doing I'm wasting my life.
Whenever I focus on being creative and productive, I feel empty, stressed, and anexious.
Whenever I focus on having fun, I feel like I'm wasting my time, and am worthless.
When I try to balance or schedule it, I usually get so anexious I panic and do nothing, or I feel like I'm forcing myself in some way.
How do I help these feelings?
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Not OP but feel very similar
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You are me OP, but unfortunately I have no answer to this. I just waste my time and slowly care less as I get older and closer to death.
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It has something to do with upbringing, doesn't it?
parents would force you to study and work hard to get grades in things that do not interest you and you can't see a direct impact of it on your life.
On the other hand they would always shame you for wasting times on hobbies like vidya, which are the things you like and bring you satisfaction.
Whole duality creates toxic process of escapism when you procrastinate, feel guilty about it, get stressed and thus procrastinate even more.
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>>17801371
I have a very good job and a strong degree, and while I was studying I really thought I'd be invested in it, but I've found that I'm not. I feel like I wasted 4 years of my life.
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I also never felt that I invested my time somewhere. I could spend my time studying the whole fucking day, yet never get anything better than B/C.
Ripped apart by feelings of wasting my time and never being able to achieve something insignificant like good marks, not saying about becoming a professional, specialist in some field. Not being able to compete is what kills my shitty drive to do anything, every day.
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