I have no idea what to expect asking for advice here. I'll

>>17800714
Basically, what it boils down to is: I have no idea how to gain self confidence, self discipline, and how to make friends and/or how to get a girlfriend.

>>17800714
I've thought a lot about this kind of thing. Frankly, we think too much. Just fucking do it. Lose weight, work out, get with a speech therapist, be more social etc. You are waiting to feel confident before doing these things, but confidence cones much later. Just fucking do it. Get a gym buddy or trainer.

Yo' man, I ain't got much time but here goes;

What most people do is wake up one day and think "Why am I such a big useless piece of shit". Effectively, you've not tended a garden for 30 years and then suddenly you're like "well, I don't have a fucking water fountain or anything, my garden is just a big fucking mess and I hate it."

Now, that's fine. But you just need to make small changes, do a little bit each day, and you'll end up with an amazing garden in no time. The only trouble with ourselves and our self-confidence is, we tend to focus too much on how bad and how immovable it all is. Note the picture you've painted to us, it's a large, solid object, that's hard to move. We add things on to make it worse- I haven't got my shit together, I'll never change, time is running out!

None of it matters. It is time for you to change and for that change to be rooted in action. You will not immediately feel better and you will be confused, but push through.

>So it basically boils down to me having essentially zero self confidence. I keep thinking if I can lose some weight, make myself look and feel better that'll help. But then another part of me shoots that down and makes arguments that it won't make a difference.

Confidence is fetishized a lot, but the life of a confident person is more enjoyable than that of a non-confident person. The real confidence comes from within, with weight and appearance only counting on the surface. You can tell a confident attractive person from an unconfident attractive person.

Trust in yourself to make the right decisions and move forward, you can and will do it.

>>17800728
Definitely think too much. I wish I could just do it. That's where the self discipline comes in. I almost talk (think) myself into doing something, making a decision, then I just get lazy and watch TV or play a game. I feel like I need something to work towards, and for some reason "getting a girlfriend and actually starting my life" becomes less important somehow, in that particular moment. Then, later, I get mad at myself for giving up and being lazy like that. It's super frustrating.

>>17800729
I really like your garden analogy. It totally makes sense in that context. I think that is where the root of my problem lies: My mind sees the whole mess as one giant mass of angry frustration and urgency. I need to figure out how to sort it out into smaller problems that need to be overcome. The weight, the social, the depression.

Part of the problem, I feel, is that even if I get a bit of confidence, I will still not have any idea of how to interact with people. Or women. I don't even know where to go to meet people. I don't like the idea of bars. But then again, there I go worrying about the entire problem and not breaking it down.

>>17800789
As you said, break your problems down into smaller ones. Lose 10 lbs to start and you'll gain a little confidence boost from the progress you've made. From there, strive to lose another 10 and so on. Don't say "I want to lose 50lbs" because that might not happen. Make your goals attainable but also worthwhile.

As for meeting people, what are your hobbies? What do you do for a living? I'd say making friends at your job is the easiest. When people enjoy being around you, they will inevitably start asking you to hangout and inviting you to do things with them.

>>17800789
Ah, I forget that some people don't know how to harness will power. Listen, you need to set concrete goals/objectives. Instead of saying, "I must lose weight" you should set goal "I will try to lose 5lbs in 2 weeks" etc. The reason why you're failing is because you aren't planning and don't have anyone else to help you stay accountable. Like I mentioned, get a trainer, get a speech therapist etc. I know that after reading advice you'll feel motivated then kind of think, "OK, I'll do that soon" but start right now. Research and plan, bud. Good luck.