My dad hasn't shown me any proper affection, especially

>hasn't even tried to contact me for about 11 months

Sounds like a shit parent.

>as a Father I couldn't hate him more.
>Do I just act as though I "love" him?

No. Would denying your feelings and lying to yourself make you happy? I think not.

Let me ask you this: What do you want out of this relationship with your father? Affection? A phone call once in a while? An apology for all the times he wasn't there?

>>17798491
We pick our friends but we're stuck with our family. Has it occurred to you that the person you are now is a near-stranger to him as well, someone he can't relate to whatever feelings he had for the child he last had much to do with 16 years ago? What you experience as his coldness might just be his awkwardness at knowing how to relate to this adult or near-adult you have become.

Instead of pining for the loving daddy you lost 16 years ago, see what kind of man-to-man relationship might still be open to the two of you.

Your mom was probably a gold digger who tried to catch a wealthy man with a baby.
You should dislike your mother.
Tell your dad that you wan't him to be a better dad. Man like and respect straight truth. What ever you do, DO NOT FAKE anything, your mother played that game and lost.

>>17798674
>>17798708
I don't know what I want, I've only ever thought about how it's made me feel rather than what could remedy it.

He was never a loving dad, I was too young to know what he was like from memory, but I know I didn't enjoy seeing him.

I am not willing to engage with him, but I appreciate what you are both saying, if he wants to repair what he's done then I'll be open to that.

Thanks.

>>17798717
My parents met when they were 15. Not really a "gold digger" when my grandad on my Dad's side is a builder and my grandad on my mum's side was a Minister.

They both lived in poverty until my dad got a lucky break when he learnt to program. Fuck off.

>>17798491

Yah my mom left my dad when I was 3 to be a strong independent woman. He dodged child support cause she refused to let him see us. Be glad he was even in your life to begin with.

>>17798943
I'm so grateful he's left with me with irreversible trust issues, depression and anxiety. Thanks dad. >:(