Greeeen text time >So last Wednesday My SO and I had relationship

>>17798402

You are probably right. 3 days, one doctors visit and the underlying problem is solved? I think not. Maintain course, OP.

>>17798413
Thanks, that's pretty much where I am at right now.

She also started seeing a therapist today. So I think I should wait a few sessions and see what happens.

man w/ depression reporting in

to be clear, the issue is -she- doesnt treat -you- well, generally speaking? Not just "we both fight and argue non stop"? she didn't have a list of complaints on her side?

either way, my thoughts:

-Depression is a bitch. your decision to create and later maintain distance from one another - be it right or wrong - is going to worsen her emotions. Not telling you you're a bad guy for it, just that you need to be aware this -will- make it worse, and probably in a progressive manner as time goes on.

she very well could have decided to stamp "fuck you" on the relationship and that's the end of it, but if shes actually got depression this can and probably will swing heavily to and fro. If you actually want to try and salvage things, it will be important to try and discuss the arrangements made and come to some form of compromise with each other. she wanted to come back, you said no. Perhaps you can compromise by making dates to make sure you spend time together daily etc, as a sign that you're not just pulling the rug out from under her.

the most important advice I can give you, is to try and find compromising solutions for any and all issues from this point forward. if she does not like something, try to find a middle ground solution to help curb the negativity.

Not doing so will allow her depression to take over more and more, and if that happens, it's all over. not because she'll leave, but because the problems you have will wrosen from it and -you- will leave.

>>17798495
>just that you need to be aware this -will- make it worse,
You have no idea if this is true. She could just as well have a co-depended relationship with OP, that keeps her from tackling her problems.

>>17798506

he said himself she reacted in "so pissed she cant talk" mode

someone with depression is dealing with things they -dont- want to have happen ie OP said no to her moving back in or whatever.

A normal reaction in a person NOT dealing with depression would be to get upset, it would take a very removed mentality to be able to look at it with a "well now I can fix my underlying issues" way. Someone with depression is absolutely not going to respond in any positive way to such situations.

At least not initially. The immediate result is going to be worsened depression, hostility, anger, etc.

as said before that's not to suggest its the wrong course, in the long run that may be whats needed, but it -will- cause someone with depression to worsen in the immediate.

>>17798495
>>17798525

So should I just stand my ground on this, or cave? I want things to get better, properly.

I've already been making the effort to show that im not "just pulling the rug out from her"

And its a bit of both really, doesnt treat me well, constant fights.

I also think she is a little needy, that I just write off as a symptom of the depression.

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>>17798586
>So should I just stand my ground on this, or cave?
You stand your ground but continue to try and be supportive. She has depression, that sucks of course, but your happiness is just as important.
If she's not able to handle the distance (where you are as supportive as you can be, you go on dates and stuff without actually caving in, work on the issues etc) I would say break it off. It will suck, but it would be the best for the both of you in the long run.
As you said, you NEED space right now. Sacrificing that space won't solve the core issues. And if she can't handle that it means one party has to suffer no matter what. The healthy thing would be to break it off.

>>17798870
Thanks for the actual good advice anon.

I think I will just do a nice gesture thing tomorrow with her, go to her parents place and hang with her a while, then maybe go hang out with some friends for dinner or something.

But then of course, not letting her come home with me. So ehhh could backfire.

>>17798930
That sounds really good man.

>But then of course, not letting her come home with me. So ehhh could backfire.
If she knows that it's not gonna happen regardless of the outcome of the evening I think you'll be all right.
I don't know her or much about your situation (just what I get from this thread), but the vibe I get is that you going out with her is you extending an olive branch. Basically saying "I need my space, but I'm still here for you as well as much as I can be right now." Showing respect in the hopes she will return it. How she responds can say a lot about her as a person. Hopefully she will understand that this could take time. Not just a few days. But again, I don't know her or you that well, so take that as you will.

All in all, on my end it seems like you are doing your part to fix what is wrong, now the rest is up to her.

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>>17798402
>GF has depression
>Clinically proven
>Kicks her out
You could have handled that way better if I'm going t be honest with you OP.
This is the time you're supposed to be there for her, and I get that space is something we all need, but there comes a time when your wants and needs have to take a back seat to the problem at hand.

Here's what I would do to reconcile:
>Tell her to come home
>Be there for her, and just talk with her
>Try to see if you can find a way to help brighten her mood
>make sure that she gets professional help alongside you being there for her

She's mad at you because she needed you and you pushed her away, so now it's time for you to make things up with her if you want the relationship to continue. (your prerogative)

I'm not saying it's going to be easy to fix this kind of problem, but it is fixable if you want to put in the effort.

Good luck OP

>>17798930
you can run with this.

Maybe include her? make her feel like part of a group, that usually helps people in a depressive state of mind.

It will most definitely backfire if you just drop her off at her parents house afterwords.

>>17798978
I feel like I am on the same page with you.

>>17798995
Well, I have known something has been wrong for months, but shes refused to do anything about it. So this was kind of the driving force for her to actually go seek help, shes seeing a therapist now and is on antidepressants. I dont think I could have achieved this, if I never kicked her out.

>>17799014
perhaps, though I think the gesture of reconciliation will also add a sense of progress and positivity.
The only thing you then have to judge is the timing of all of this, maybe a week, or whenever you believe she's showing progress.

If she's still compromising your happiness, then the only healthy thing for you to do in the long run is to break it off, which always sucks.