What is the best, most sure way to suicide yourself? Guns excluded.

Good. Don't use one.
Not only is it difficult to do correctly, (you will miss and acquire permanent brain damage after those poor fucks save you), you will make a mess for the people who have to clean up after you.
Some advice: Make sure you take a shit and a piss beforehand. Perform an enema if you want your pants to come out squeaky clean after your disembowel yourself.

Make sure that people know about your suicide (after it's complete), so people don't have to deal with a week-old rotting carcass in the apartment. I leave method of contact to you.

Finally, the actual advice: Use a helium exit bag. Unlike Carbon Dioxide, which gives you a feeling of breathlessness, Helium does not. Neither does Carbon monoxide, by the way, but carbon monoxide is less safe, as to produce it you require an open flame.
For reference, it takes about 3 minutes to die of suffocation. Plan accordingly.

tl;dr helium gas bag over your face == painless death

>>17791896
>tl;dr helium gas bag over your face == painless death

Dont kill yourself. Any form of helium you can get your hands on will absolutely not kill you but instead cause irreparable brain damage, as they have since added oxygen to helium sources exactly for this reason.

>>17791929
In that case, monoxide is the better solution. You can't add breathable air to burnt-off propane. The problem then becomes "How do I not burn the house down in the process?", which is apparently cheaper and less difficult than finding a suicide aide.

How about nitrous oxide instead?

You know guns aren't really that hard to get your hands on.

Google gun ranges, go to one. Rent lane, ears and eye protection, a target, gun and ammo. I'd pick a larger caliber, .45 or .40. All told cost you 40 bucks at most.

Go out to range, fire a few rounds into the target, learn how a gun operates. Realize how much fun you're having and get new lease on life through the enjoyment of firearms.

>>17791980
This.

>>17791912
helium tanks are now cut with oxygen so you can't do that anymore

>>17792101
Normies cant even let us die in peace

File: The-burning-monk-1963-small.jpg (228KB, 1148x956px) Image search: [Google]

228KB, 1148x956px

self immolation, just look at how calm he is

very painless way to die

>>17791896
Make a friend with a gun. Then make him an enemy.