I have a date tonight. I have never felt such anxiety. I haven't

>>17789794
You realize that women are just people like everyone else you have ever interacted with.

Protip: If you don't treat it like a date, things will fall even more in your favor.

>>17789802

How to treat it then? She's hot and seems to have her shit together.

>>17789865
you're going out to have fun and to get to know a girl, not to prove something to her or to yourself. What's there to be anxious about?

>>17789794
The absolutely worst thing that can happen is that you will have a not-fun evening and never see the girl again.

Surely you have had not-fun evenings before, and survived them. So you are getting worked up over something that won't be that bad even at its worst.

Meanwhile, the advice above is solid. Don't think of it as the event on which your entire future depends. Think of it as an evening doing something pleasant in the company of someone who might add to the pleasantness. The event - the evening doing whatever - is the end in itself, and not necessarily the beginning of something bigger (though it can be)

>>17789956
>>17789890

Yeah but I'm only meeting her in a bar for a drink. The prospect of sperging/awkward silence is a real and present danger

>>17789794

Have a drink before hand to calm your nerves a little and then arrive at the bar to meet her, once she has had a few and you have some more you will either click and get along or you won't and neither option really reflects on either of you as individuals. Think about it this way, she is in the same boat as you, you are both going there in hopes that you get along and can proceed further, so if that doesn't happen you're just not compatible and it's no ones fault.

It's not up to you to prove yourself to her and neither is it up to her to do that for you, you're both there to 'trial' each other in a sense. So just try to relax, keep the conversation light hearted and be yourself.

>>17789968
I've had a few times where I literally met with a girl at a nice location and just talked. No distractions and no escape from awkward silences.

My trick to these is to think of things to talk about beforehand. Don't treat it like a checklist but keep it as backup. If it feels like a conversation is about to end, start a new one.

One HUGE thing is to find a common interest. Imagine a friend of yours like video games. You guys can talk about it for hours. Find a common interest, and you're set for a bit. Keep the date "short" and just focus on enjoying the girls company. If shes meeting with you, she is already interested. Dont try hard to impress her.

I know this advice is oversaid, but be yourself.

>>17790025

I don't really want to meet in a bar either even though I suggested it. I mean, where else to meet for a short date after work? We'll both be driving too so no drinks to steady the ship. But then maybe its good practice not to rely on alcohol for courage

Relax bro. Keep things chill and she will be chill.

>>17790000
I always used to arrive first at the bar (you're meeting at) and have a drink.

1.It calms your nerves
2.It gives you the lay of the land and first dibs. You never want to be walking into a date where she is there first one there.

I also would always choose a bar I know and she doesn't to give myself home field advantage. Also gives you something to chat about.

>They have great xxx here
>Don't order the xxx they are terrible

I also used to like going to a mexican place for the first date because they have chips and salsa which is an easy, non-messy, and neutral food you can share and put between you as a small barrier.

Pick a spot where you are at your back and she is looking in.

This allows you to see everything is going on and her to only be focused on you. This way when (for instance) the waiter comes, she is slightly in the way and you can say "look out the drinks are here" or whatever... this psychologically makes her more "along for the ride" and you in control.

These are all tactics that are used in a bunch of situations like business meetings.

Step 1) Have a beer or two an hour before the date. You know your own tolerance so don't overdo it, but this will alleviate some anxiety and make you more talkative and personable.

Step 2) Stop thinking of it as a date. A "date" is this weird spooky thing you've created in your head and you're terrified of losing control of the situation and it going poorly. You probably think you need to show her a great time and be a regular Casanova. Don't. Treat it like you're just hanging out with a friend and treating them to dinner and a drink or something. Like they're broke and will pay you back later. Nonchalance.

OP here

I cancelled (._. ). Until the weekend anyway.

Fuck man why am I so neurotic when it comes to women and dating? I hate feeling like this, I have no control over it

>>17790606
Smh cmon Anon. You gotta get over it at some point. You DO control it, it's all in your head

>>17790606
You did this to yourself. Consider a date as a tactical risk you have to take if you ever want a partner.

It's like dipping your toes in the water. If the water is nice and warm (good date) you'll go for a swim. If you don't end up going for a swim, you aren't any worse off than you were before.