My friend wanted me to proofread a piece of his and I'm

>>17789789
>I'm not quite sure how to fix it without completely changing the meaning.

You don't need to change it. Tell him its unclear and tell HIM to change it to something else.

just highlight it.

>>17789796
I get what he's trying to say, that everything after the dash are examples of the wonderful simplicities and complexities of plants, but it looks clunky as hell.

Should I just tell him that?

>>17789789
He's talking about at least two separate things that do not logically go together, and jamming them into a sentence fragment that is ungrammatical.

I don't know what he really wants to say, but it MIGHT be something like this:

That plants contain both simplicities and complexities is a wonder. So, too, is the way the physiology that sustains them contributes to their ability to sustain us.

But that will only work if it follows or precedes specific examples of plant simplicities and complexities, and specific examples of how those elements are what make plants into nourishing food.

>>17789789
>The simplicities and the complexities of plants are an absolute wonder
Bullcrap padding statement that adds nothing to anything.


- the physiology that sustains the life of a plant and their vital contribution to humanity, which sustains us

1. This is not even a sentence
2. More bullcrap padding - no shit plants have physiology, and no shit they sustain us.

Done.

File: harmless fart.jpg (99KB, 725x895px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 725x895px

>>17789789
>the physiology that ENABLES the FUNCTIONS of a plant and their vital contribution to humanity, which ULTIMATELY sustains us

You're welcome

>i'm not a native english speaker

>>17790221
OP here,
That is damn better.
>>17790186
I guess it could be seen as padding but him finding awe in the symbiotic relationship is a legitimate thing to express. I just think it needs to flow better and generally look better.
>>17789974
I ended up emailing him that the sentence was unclear and/or could flow better since I didn't see the posts after >>17789814 until just now but there's some good points here, I think I could send him these suggestions once he gets back to me. I definitely think examples would help make his piece stronger.