/adv/ I've been with my girlfriend for a few years. Lately

Losing that "spark" you had when you first started dating is totally normal. Love isn't an explosive volcano of affection all the time.
Meditate on it, find out if you actually do love her still or if you don't, but don't think of it in terms of honeymoon-passion. Does she make you happy when you see her? Do you find yourself wishing you had her nearby when she's gone? That sort of thing.

Also, wait until after new years. Everybody breaks up on the holidays and it just makes it shitty for everybody. She'll be miserable, her family by extension will be miserable, you'll feel awful, it's just a bad time for everybody.

>>17785385
>Losing that "spark" you had when you first started dating is totally normal

No, I know that. What I mean is that essentially since we've got back together it's been more or less passionless from my end. Like...since I moved I've found I'm completely fine to go weeks without seeing her.

>Also, wait until after new years
So you think I should wait til after new years regardless? I should just go through this weekend being all hunky-dory? I guess that makes sense. Still though, feels bad to lie to her for that much longer. I feel like a dick almost every time I text her "I love you".

>>17785368

The guy above me is right. The spark doesn't last forever. You should rather ask yourself: Are you happy while being with her? Does she makes you better? How would you feel when she's gone of your life?

It's a hard choice. But if you think you have to do it, then do it.

I've been in both situations. It's good when you're out of something you didn't feel like being. But it's AWFUL when you realize you did need her and now she's gone.

>>17785441
> I should just go through this weekend being all hunky-dory?
Well you don't have to pretend to be the happiest person ever or anything. Just keep doing whatever it is you're doing.

And that's just my opinion, really. If you don't want to keep up the facade then just do it now, it's plenty early before Christmas for her to get over it by then.

>>17785443
I think my previous post (>>17785441) is a decent response to yours.

Also, in addition there's been times where I've been with her and I find myself thinking about ow much better it would be if I were with a different girl or something :/

>>17785455

Have you tried talking about this to her? If you're sure, then do it that weekend you can. The facade is not only heavy for you, but it also stops you from experiencing lots of other stuff out there

>>17785479
>Have you tried talking about this to her?
I'm not sure how I could to be honest. Not trying to be mean, but she's pretty sensitive so any sort of conversation that begins to steer in that direction brings on the waterworks.

>>17785368
Ugh OP. Don't force her to spend a nice weekend with you then ruin it by dumping her.
Don't make her drive out to see you just to live a lie for a bit longer and get dumped and have to drive back home.
That's awful.

Drive to see her the day before and tell her things are over face to face. ):
Rip the bandaid off.

>>17785691
If that were an option I honestly would, but I don't have a car :/

Anyone else have any advice for me? Three days til she comes up

>>17786750
Just call her and break up.

>>17786761
isn't that like, the worst way to end a relationship tho, a three year old one no less?

>>17786750
Uber to her or have a friend take you? Having a friend take you can help if the breakup conversation is dragging out too long. You can say you have to go because Bob is waiting for you in the car.

I was in the same situation as you, and I'll tell you what I did, but it did not go well (maybe not due to how I did it, idk). I called first to indicate I wanted to "talk", so the person knew something was up before driving over. They had a choice to still drive over or just discuss by phone but chose to still drive over.

>>17786769
Depends how you talk. I had a 5 year one and we mutually broke up over the phone call. We knew where our lives were going in the opposite direction. If you think it's bad then yeah, you might be in a bad spot. Either way that phone call can end your bad feelings or the relationship.

>>17786769
it just seems kind of shitty to make her come up to see you just to rip her heart out

is there any way you could maybe go down to see her to break the news

>>17786769
[spoiler] Well, it's better than text so there's that. [/spoiler]

>>17786776
It's a three (maybe four with current weather) hour drive, so uber's out and I don't really have anyone up here I could ask to help me out with this unfortunately.

>>17786779
I don't think this is going to be "mutual" unfortunately :( I'd just feel horrible about the phone call though because I know there's no worse feeling than when you know you're going into a conversation that won't end well.

>>17786781
I definitely agree. And not in the next three days, no. I'm considering leaving this weekend as is, then going home the weekend after or something and having "the talk" then.

Classic grass in greener syndrome. Never fails.