I need an answer, can you tell me what's wrong with me or

(cont.)
I get mad a lot when things don't go my way with Melee so even that feels more and more useless to me now.

As for work, I hated work because I did a call center. I handled customers and fixed printers and shit like that. It was an extremely easy job with barely any mental effort but unfortunately I absolutely hated speaking with people. I wanted to pass some quiet time but every time somebody called me for their retarded shit problem I'd get extremely agitated and annoyed that they called at all. I helped them just fine but I got more and more of a headache just speaking to these people regardless of if they were nice or bitchy about their issue.

It was a full time job and it felt like such a waste of time and I hated every minute going there that I decided to quit and I've been unemployed for about a month because of it. I didn't care about having money or anything, I already have everything I could possibly need, I am a person that needs very little to be pleased. But unfortunately due to the living situations I can't pay for my cell phone bill or internet bill or car anymore because I had shit spending habits and barely ended up with much in the bank after I quit after working for 8 months.

Initially though, I quit the job because I was going to have a paid internship if I would've done the Security + cert, which would've been just fine. But unfortunately studying for it is extremely difficult for me, I couldn't figure out a proper method to figure it out, so instead I just wasted my time instead keeping off the day to fully go into studying because I was lazy. I don't know about the condition of the paid internship at this moment, but I keep pushing back when I actually bother studying regardless of how the situation is.

(cont.)
Also, I was planning on going to a cheap community college to delay the debt payment of the college I failed, but looking through the classes is proving to be a difficult task as well considering that I'm having issues contemplating what kind of degree I even want to do. I don't know if I want to try a "software development" career again after failing that with little interest the first time, or if I should go for something art related. But both involve classes I don't give 2 shits about and I'm trying to take that into consideration alongside my poor motivation skills.

And now I'm basically at an impass, I have no idea how to progress, I don't know where to go or what to pursue. I don't want to do anything at all. I thoroughly enjoy my NEET life but real life doesn't accomodate my enjoyment of the situation; I have bills to pay, my mother hates me, and I'm a joke to my family. I don't help around the house because I tend to sleep a lot and feel that my time is better spent doing other things. I'm obviously not helping with pay, especially after we finished recently moving into a house after living with my grandmother for several years.

Plus, I'm out of shape, I barely go outside, I just kinda suck in general. I hang out with friends whenever they're not busy but not for very long. Thinking about my long term I have extremely little energy. It takes a lot of effort to wake up or do anything that requires energy, even with the meaningless hobbies I do like smash or speedrunning, it takes a shitton of effort to bother with those things just because of how tired I always feel. I feel sleepy constantly as well.

(cont.)
There's also the additional fact that in the long term, I can't really see how things will be for me in terms of where I'll stand with friends and family.

Right now my plans are to possibly try freelancing since I hate the idea of working for a company. Working at the call center ruined that idea, I would much rather have like a week to do something with my own hours within the week then follow a strict schedule of some shit company working for them as an empty shell of a human being. For whatever reason though, even though I like to retain my humanity I don't want to work, all the free time I have now is being used on fucking nothing anyway. I try to have motivation for freelance like web design or art but I can't bring myself to even bother with anything of that matter and instead just do mindless things like play online games with friends or play smash or whatever.

Anyway, after all that rambling, that's the situation I'm in. I can't figure out what's wrong with me, I feel indifferent about everything, I don't want to do anything, is it because I'm out of shape? According to my mother she says I've been this way for a long time now. I'm immature and can't handle things on my own, having a job is too big for me because before I quit the call center, I was fired from the last two jobs I had due to being late. The reason I was late was cuz I wanted to stay home for as long as possible because I didn't want to go to work or school or whatever.

I have less energy than my 54 year old mother, in social events I barely hold a conversation because I hate talking about myself, I can hold a conversation if it doesn't involve myself for a bit but if I'm not talking I'm just by myself on the phone or away from the noise or whatever. Which is bad to my family that is obsessed with constantly being together and spending time with each other without being distracted.

(cont.)
Some days I want to sleep all days I don't sleep until like 5am because I'm trying to fix something with my AOSP phone or some shit. I have skewed priorities, and I can't figure out why I can't keep priorities on things that actually matter besides the fact I lack severe motivation to even bother.

what's wrong with me?!

I've tried rationalizing the situation but it just feels like I'm just gonna wake up a few days later and forget about all my concerns and be a lazy bitch again regardless.

And I always feel akward when people notice I'm doing something after I decide to make a difference with things, I don't enjoy the feeling at all. What should I do to escape the cycle?

I've decided to read this shit
For some reason

Give me like fucking an hour to read all that shit you wrote

Ok so I read your shit

The bottom line is that you're shit but don't realize your shit
Your mum is preventing you
She's holding you up when you should be starving and worrying about living as a bum

The problem is that she's gonna die and you're going to be like 30
And then you WILL live like a bum.

You are CWC without the Sonic obsession.

You are afraid of failure because you are not familiar with failure feels like

Okay, a few things

your lack of energy, lack of interest in anything, no motivation, etc. makes it sound like you might be depressed. However, and let me make this very clear: that does not excuse the rest of your bullshit.

Jobs suck. Having to get up at 6 am to go sit with people you don't like, talk to people who you hate for some jerk off sitting in an office fucking his secretary or whatever sucks. Entry level jobs like the one you described suck even more. But you have to do it. Everyone does.

Same goes for school: you're not going to enjoy every single aspect of any program. Pick something you like, and gear through the bullshit courses so you can come out with a piece of paper that says you can now get a half-decent job in an industry you're interested in. Job is more than likely still gonna suck but it at least won't make you want to eat a 9mm advil anymore.

I'm 24 and actually have been in a pretty similar situation. I went to college for two other courses and dropped out before finding the course I'm currently in. It's called "interactive media design" and it's kinda cool. We learn how to use adobe suite, a bit of web design, bit of photography, bit of videography. There's still some bullshit classes I hate though. There always will be.

I'm really tired because it's 2:45 so i'm not sure if this post is still making sense. I'm going to bed.

tl;dr yes life sucks, but you need to work and take shitty classes so that later on life will suck much, much less.

>>17783186
>depressed
>pick something you like
k e k

>>17783053
The mere fact that you rambled on for a half-dozen posts reflects what is evident in what you wrote. You're not autistic or retarded or in any way mentally handicapped. You're a spoiled brat.

It may be your mother's fault, as someone suggested, for carrying you, but she did her job on you long ago, by letting you develop the self-centered, self-absorbed, self-pitying attitude that drives you.

The fact is that a lot about school isn't fun (though some can be) and a lot about work isn't fun (though some can be) and a lot about life isn't fun (though a lot can be).

It may be, as someone suggested, that you just chose the wrong classes and the wrong job for you, and just have to look for the right ones. But I think it is your "Please me at once, be easy, or I quit" attitude to everything.

Just for the fun of it, just to see if you can do it, pick something - anything - and see it through to the end. You might find it a satisfying experience, and will certainly find it a new one.

Same thing dude down to the neuroticism
It's part of being raised spoiled with an inflated sense of self worth in a time where all basic needs are provided and the world seems a bit absurd

You gotta have a goal though
There's gotta be something you truly desire. Like jacks compass in Pirates of the Caribbean, you gotta have a direction to chart a course. Figure that out and just go for it, trust it, believe in it and it'll all work its way out.

An acid trip might help, a good diet, exercise and dropping porn & video games will help more. Why would you want to do anything when you're brain thinks 1. Infinite food 2. Shelter 3. Inifinte mating partners (through porn) 4. Video games to give a false sense of accomplishment/fulfillment
its no wonder Millenials don't give a shit it's not that hard, we literally live better than kings did.

>>17783134
>>17783186
>>17783531
>>17783575

Alright, thanks for giving me the 100% lowdown. I'll try my best to force myself to do things and challenge things and break the bad habits like playing video games.
I appreciate all the honesty

My mentality with forcing myself is pretty bad though, cuz usually I just think that "I'm just an empty shell" when I force myself to do things. But based on what you guys say, even if I were to for example take a free flowing things like freelancing I suppose I wouldn't even do anything that was commissioned for me even if there was money on the line.

I'll try harder, thanks again.