Welp. I guess things always do get even. Cheated on my girlfriend

Should I ever be friends with the guy and chick she had the threesome with again? Is a drunken escapade forgiveable, given my girl wasnt in a relationship anymore?

Even tho they seemed to really regret it I feel so fucked over. They even went to promise me semi jokingly that they will keep an eye on her in the club and that only she will touch him (shes bisexual and the friend and I have allowed them to expiriment). End of the story described above...

>>17782165
This is fucked up anon. No real friend will fuck your girl. In a fucking threesome like wtf he has no excuses he is just a retard who thought "wow more pussy for me" and didn't think about you. So no anon don't fucking remain friend with this guy he is a cunt and he will remain this way.

>>17782165
Beat the shit out of him, or wreck something of his. He had an impulse to fuck meat, so your impulse is to smash skulls(figuratively)

If u dont then go to the fucking gym u pussy bitch, ur fake friend literalky bent YOU over and FUCKED YOU HARD!

If u dont do something u deserve to be in a dumpster

I mean from a moral standpoint you don't have any ground to stand on right? I'm sure your ex was going through a tough time and wanted to try something to try and get over you and the feelings of depression she had, I wouldn't blame her for trying something crazy to distract herself or your friends for trying to help.

I know you feel betrayed but you have to realize that your actions caused this situation. It's easier to place blame outside ourselves, but we have to take that we're being reasonable about it.

On the other hand, you cheating does show that you weren't ready for a long-term relationship with her, or in general, so that's something nice to learn about yourself.

Nothing to live for? Try living to become a better version of yourself that someone you really love could live a happy life with.

File: lia4.png (838KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

838KB, 720x1280px

>>17782186
Sorry I didn't specify this 'threesome', it went like this: when going out the girl told the guy to kiss my ex, when they arrived at home this actually happened and they have groped each other while my ex was naked and he was in PJs. My ex then proceded to have sex with the girl and after that the girl fucked my friend while my ex went to sleep. My ex said she didn't enjoy it because according to her they were mostly focussed on each other and she discovered that she wasn't 'bi' cause she was only attracted to my guy friend.

Fucking hell. We're all in the same social group. He followed his dick. Im pretty sure I can legitimately say he's really sorry. I dont trust the girl tho. How the fuck do I cope and live with this when we are a fucking group of friends? This is so complex and fucked up in all ways

>>17782195
This is such a good reply. Youre fully right, I could never see why I was cheating but its probably the fact that I didnt feel fulfilled. It was my frist real relationship so I didnt know how to compare and had little experience with other girls. I'm only 18, and these people in question are 17. And yeah my ex cant technically be blamed, but I still think all three of these people have showed me some massive disrespect

>>17782204
Yeah, I see how you feel disrespected, it's not the coolest move. That's likely why your friend feels remorse. But honestly you have to earn respect, and hooking up with some girl while you're in a long-term relationship with another is pretttty disrespectful.

Reality isn't so black and white but in this situation you have to remember that you're the bad guy and so their priority would and should be on the poor broken hearted girl. I wouldn't be happy with your friends by any means, maybe stay mad at them for a while, but I'd forgive them.

I certainly wouldn't be cutting off contact or bashing any skulls in.

File: 4bAEsXDD0n6j2cYADvZpYZNvclwm1TYjcEeI_79ZJs4.jpg (64KB, 614x768px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 614x768px

>>17782234
Yeah I was actually hoping for this answer silently, hoping that it wouldn't be an awful choice of me to stay friends with them. I just dont wanna lose the group but I dont think Ill ever trust these 2 again for a 100%.

Its gonna be a real tough pill to accept the fact that this social circle will stay this way, and although ill have to accept that my ex is in it too deep inside I hope that she will fall out because shes no longer with me ( I got her in ) or that people dislike her because of this stunt.

This group has been close for about a few years, me being in since about a year and my girl since a few months but always on the background and seen more as 'OPs GF' rather than a individual. She's in the groupchat tho in which we arrange stuff and is good friends with the girl from the threesome. I know I'm bad for hoping that she will fall out but I cant help it. I should accept that she is a part and not obsess over it but how

>>17782270
I dont mean that she should fall out because shes no longer with me, but I meant that the fact that we are no longer a couple kinda makes her fall off because she was more of an 'attachment'

>inb4 OP sees woman as materials
Just cant word it any differently.

>>17782270
Yeahhhp, it's going to be awkward for a while alright. That's a breakup though.

Personally I don't bring my girlfriends into my social group to avoid this exact situation. I don't think it's particularly good advice, but maybe it's something you could consider for the future.

>>17782384
I'll consider this for future reference. Right now I guess I just gotta let time heal and work with how it is now. I hope I wont get caught in the healthy obsession of wanting her out tho

>>17782137
Realize that essentially, there's no self behind these actions. You're just biological bodies, going abuot their biological business. The fact that you've formed an attatchment to another person like this, created a narrative for yourself and her is the only fault you made here.

Lighten up, it doesn't matter anyway.

>>17782137
when you break up with a girl they deal with it by fuckign someone else, guys do the same shit so get over it. also she'll be back.

File: 7832647283.jpg (35KB, 380x472px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 380x472px

>>17782423
>there's no self behind these actions.
This is a constructed narrative.

>You're just biological bodies, going abuot their biological business.
This is a constructed narrative.

>it doesn't matter anyway.
This is also a constructed narrative.

What is your point?

>>17782196
Do whatever you want, you obviously made up your mind

In your place I'd legit kick his ass though

Any advice on staying contactless? I just cant help texting her about certain stuff, im still so immaturely obsessed and jealous. Blocking her isnt really an option because shes in the group chat too. I've realised that I have been way to controlling, paranoid and dramatic in this relationship. I need to grow up.

>>17783375
In your shoes if block her from everything and leave the group chat or silence it or whatever if you can hold temptation to peek

The easiest way to get over a breakup has always been no contact, fucking a random bitch and whiskey. Considering the situation you owe no one a "waiting period" so start now
I know that it sounds like the last thing you want to do in the state that you're in but it's just the medicine you gotta swallow if you wanna get better quicker.

Spending time with friends outside, exercise, and focusing on your self/goals can really help too. Keep in mind the positive that the relationship ended sooner rather later, now you have more time in your youth to fuck around with other girls and explore new things. In the long run you are the winner in this situation.

>>17783402
I'm really not tho, I suffer from extreme sexual anxiety due to insecurities and earlier intensive porn use. I can't imagine ever being with someone else it just makes me feel super anxious. At this point I trust hardly anybody in my life for a 100%

>>17783402
Also, she just blocked me herself saying that she regrets having a relationship with me and that she is convinced we'll never be friends the way I am now. Told me this was our last convo for a long time, maybe for always. Even though she is right about certain things I got a feeling she's turning the tables to forget about her own guilt (she has done similar tableturning and victim playing earlier in the relationship). Found out you can still see group messages so knowing that I would've blocked her myself earlier, but its w/e

>>17783414

Both of you are selfish little shits, move on OP.

>>17783430
After all this, getting back together after months or years, is it a possibility? Is this youthful postbreakup surrealism ? Or is it true that time can heal wounds and bring things different?

>>17783406
Right now, yes, of course totally understandable. It would be odd if you didn't at this point. That's why it's important to have solid bro time with people that are actually your bros to gain trust in people again and remember they can be fun.
>>17783414
She's definitely misdirecting her pain so don't take what she says to heart, but you know that. What you need to keep in mind is that you guys are both young first time exes and it's gonna be one of the hardest hitting breakups you'll have. You'll both be angry, sad, confused maybe even try to get back together (DO NOT). At the end of it all you're both going to be better off, I promise you stranger.

Find out a relatively healthy coping strategy is my only true actionable advice. Exercise, music, school, work, something.

>>17783433
Surrealism
Maybe after years when you both mature a bit but idk why you'd want to take that back after that shit
Years like 25 24

>>17783433

Time can heal certain things, but it really depends.
Would you be able to forgive her for hooking up with your best friend?

>>17783438

Listen to this OP.
Pursuing contact with her will only make it harder for you to move on. Focus on things that'll benefit yourself and keep occupied (exercise, school, work e.g).

You misstepped and she had a threesome a few days after, I honestly don't know why you want to stay in touch with her.

I just feel like her getting even to me for all the lies and the cheating that I pursued in the relationship was kinda unevitable and that now it finally happened we both regret our actions alot and have learned tons but at the same time it indeed leaves our bond long fucked. I just dont wanna believe that shes a bad person for having done this, and that I was in a relationship with this girl for 2 years.

I also think secretly an underlying worry that I have for losing her is the sexual anxiety. It gave us alot of problems in the relationship but she was always patient and understanding, but it still was so present. I can't ever imagine having succesful sex with someone else and ill fear it and avoid it

>>17783459
>and that I was in a relationship with a bad person for 2 years*

>>17783459
You may regret your actions but you don't know her stance on this.
Grief often provides a false sense of clarity OP. Nobody's saying that she's a bad person, technically you did end it with her. Although a threesome with your bestfriend is shitty behavior from both her- and your friend.

Why would you want these people in your life OP? The situation's fucked regardless.

>>17783459
Ok I got nothing better to do, I'll bite
What's the situation with your sexual anxiety?

>>17783473
I wish I knew man. Started that as a virgin I obsessed with sex and losing my virginity. Then first time she gave me a handjob I lost my erection due to porn induced erectile dysfunction. I quit porn and it went away but the anxiety for not getting and staying hard always remained.

The last months I could mostly get hard and we could have sex but it was not a healthy business. It was all very unspontaneous, routinely and me always being nervous and kinda avoiding sex. All I really had sex for was to be a good sexual partner to her, focussing on this made our sexlife only worse. Lack of libido isnt the problem, I had quit masturbating and would fantasize about sex with her alot when we were still wearing clothes or when she wasnt. withh me in the moment.

Im a really insecure and anxious person. Thanks for keeping the thread alive btw it helps alot not having to trouble the friends I have with my problems constantly

>>17783469
I don't know. I atleast wanna stay friends with the guy and girl, idk about my ex. Ill have to give it alot of time and it will be hard get over this action of theirs. You guys are right really that any form of connectuon between me and my ex is long fucked, but when feelings and emotions are on the table things are alot different when she was your life for 2 years

>>17783499
I'm the guy that's been replying all long and shit this whole thread so I can give you a bit of a background. I was in the exact same situation as you 5 years ago. First girlfriend I just turned 18, she was 16/17. Both lost virginities to each other, dated for 3 years. We were each others obssession. Things got bad near the end, I cheated on her and her friend found my profile on tinder and showed her. Big fight broke up and it sucked. I cried like a bitch for a week listening to radiohead sulking in my room smelling like balls. Thank god I had good ass friends that forced my ass out the house. It hurt still but the amount of times I would think about her through out the day started getting less and less until I didn't think about her at all.

So when you say

>but when feelings and emotions are on the table things are alot different when she was your life for 2 years

Remember that most people go through this at some point in their lives, and they all survive to have more relationships that are just as great if not better (except for the cutters, they die).

>>17783520
You're right. Thank you for staying in this thread. I'll see coming back together as a possibility but I'm gonna assume that it won't ever happen and I'll just focus on my own improvements.

Living on my own in my moms house starting today because my mom is gonna be in an institution again for her depression and mental illness. Cant live with my dad cause we cant get along, however he cares about me alot and does his best to make my life as good as possible. We're currently busy getting into therapy but any commercial therapist has declined me for having a too complex situation so far.

Sometimes life just gives you too much to deal with it but I'll get there. What do you think about the sexual anxiety I described? Also is it something I can adress in therapy, or is this material for a sexologist?

>>17783546
Sounds rough

The sexual anxiety sounds like some deeper issue which I cant flat out tell you since a) I'm not qualified b)that's your job to figure out (with help from your therapist) otherwise it won't mean anything

I think you can talk about it in therapy but I honestly have no idea, no experience in that besides secondhand from gf

>>17783560
Thanks for all.

>>17782196
your ex is trash, but if your friend was genuinely sorry than I wouldn't necessarily end the friendship