Female here, any tips on how to learn to reject persistent guys

>>17779225
inb4

>cheated on my bf because i was too scared to say no

slut

>>17779225

Think of it this way: Being uncomfortable now will lead to much more piece of mind down the road.

You already identified the problem you need to work on, being timid and soft. I personally believe that you should firstly have a facade to hide that side of you, some ass holes will notice that they could push you around and get what they want.

This may seem a little strange but maybe you should attempt taking a self defense course, not because you're unsafe but when you spar with someone you can't back down. You have to defend yourself and actively be assertive, this could get you in a better mindset plus be a great way to blow off steam and exercise.

You don't want to be a fuss to people who aren't respecting your boundaries?

Its a cute mindset, but you've got to realise that you're not doing that because its logical to.

What you need is experience calling creepers out on their bullshit.

I recommend hanging out here on /adv/, actually. We get trolled by creeps all the time; you'll probably come across one or two in a day or so. My favorite tactic is to do a Google Image Search for women looking disgusted, and post one with something like "Fucking redpillers. Go back to your masturbatorium, creep." Seriously. They tend to respond as if you'd just stabbed them. It gets easier the more you do it.

You don't want to respond to people IRL QUITE that harshly, of course. But the word "creep" is important. Nothing is more effective.

>>17779338
Excuse me, but there's nothing wrong with living in a mastatorium, it's my own fortress of faptitude.

>>17779225
i used to be too nice too. and then you get branded as a slut. so what you should do is simply say no to all of their replies, and if youre in person just nod your head a lot, dont ask questions, and say no sorry. or if they say hi you can just ignore them. either one doesnt make you a bitch so you shouldnt feel bad about it. also youre protecting your self which comes before being nice.

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>>17779225
What kind of clothes do you wear? The fact is, if you're receiving unwanted male advances, you're partially to blame for doing something to encourage it (don't get me wrong, you certainly don't deserve ALL the blame). Do you have large breasts? If so, wear loose ones, not tight ones. Do you wear clothes that could be described as 'sexy' like pink stockings? Wear plain blue jeans instead.

You have control over the sort of aura and image you exude. If you wear attention-grabbing clothes, you can't complain when you 'grab' a bit more attention than you would like.

>>17779231
Despite my fear, that would luckily never happen. If I notice things are getting really out of hand (guy trying to kiss me or lead me away), I freak out, run away as far as I can and call my boyfriend/friend/family member immediately in case the guy decides to follow me. Ofcourse, I'd much rather not let it get to that point and just be able to tell a guy to fuck off in the first place.

>>17779279
Already took such a course for this exact reason. Knowing I can defend myself if someone gets violent makes me feel a bit safer but I feel like it doesn't help me much when dealing with a guy who is merely flirting with me. Can't exactly punch someone in the face over that, especially if I haven't sternly told them to get lost in the first place. It only helped me with the physical aspect of defence, not the verbal one.

>>17779293
Don't like kicking up a fuss in general. I know it's dumb and guys who insist on making someone uncomfortable definitely deserve it to be mouthed off by their targets. I just get frightened in these situations and that results in me being nice to them in hopes they will go away eventually. Which also isn't a logical thing to do, I know.

>>17779393
The thing is, I don't wear anything that imo warrants any male attention. In these situations I'm usually wearing old, baggy clothes because I mostly get hit on at my uni and I don't bother to dress up or look particularly nice for that. The only feedback I receive is that guys come up to me because they think I have a cute face. So clothes aren't the issue as far as I know.

>>17779225
This must be really difficult for women, there's a lot of pressure put on them to not upset men, even men they don't care about.

I can only talk from personal experience but my insecurities mean I'll usually pursue a girl I like even if the positive signals are mixed in with negative ones. Most guys figure they have nothing to lose and will pursue to the point of ruin because, conversely, there's a lot of pressure on men to 'chase'. For example, if I liked you, and you gave me your number, I'd continue to pursue you because that's read as a green light in my mind. Men tend to act on 'hard' or direct actions and less on subtle 'queues'.

Much in the way men have to learn to read these subtleties to court properly, I think women would benefit in learning to be more direct and explicit with men they're not interested.

It's always best to be straight up, refuse to give a guy your number or decline a drink. Personally, mixed signals just make me frustrated; I can usually walk away from that but it turns some guys into freaks. I think you'd ultimately be better off by being direct with men and if you're afraid of kicking up a fuss, you can always be discreet in your directness.

Remember, you don't owe men anything so don't put yourself out when it comes to preserving their feelings; in the long run you save both parties grief by being straightforward.

If an asshole gets pushy or grabby, raise hell and make sure people know. Pressuring women is unacceptable. Somebody already mentioned boundaries in this thread. Boundaries are something you should feel no qualms about protecting.

>>17779440
>Remember, you don't owe men anything

Yeah she does, she owes them at least a makeout session if not something more. You wouldn't like to be turned down, right, OP? So don't do it to others.

>>17779237
>piece of mind down the road
is that a subtle way of saying "brain blown all over the pavement"?

>>17779418
>I'm the kind of shy person who dreads having to kick up a fuss and wants to be nice to everyone.
>Can't exactly punch someone in the face over that, especially if I haven't sternly told them to get lost in the first place.
>In these situations I'm usually wearing old, baggy clothes
I'm a guy and this hits all the right buttons for me, and I would definitely be trying to get to know you

but then again I'm just some weeb on 4chan

Though for most guy it's your shy behavior that makes them believe they can just "intimidate" you into intimacy, and the won't stop until you visibly show them it disgusts you and pisses you off, at least that's what it'd take to dissuade me. Though some guys have the "if I keep coming at her I'll eventually get her" mentality. At that point your just going to have to threaten legal action, by reporting it as stalking and don't go to the college or uni to report, but directly to the police.

>>17779225
Ive talked to some girls who have this problem and a few of them said they tried telling the guy that if his girlfriend was being aggresively hit on by guys who cant take a hint he wouldnt be happy about it.
Sometimes it puts them in their place, sometimes the guy still keeps coming onto her. If its the latter, then they are a genuinely shitty and disrespectful person and you will feel so much better down the line knowing you stood up for yourself against them

>>17779338
Redpillers? Are you upset because someone called you a roastie over a mongolian finger painting forum?

>>17779225
So you're a cheating dick tease? Isn't it worth being rude and uncomfortable to keep yourself from cheating on your boyfriend and letting other men touch you?

Stop being a flirt and they won't get the wrong idea. There's a difference between "haha. That's funny" and "omg anon! You're so funny! Tee hee! I love talking to you X333 "

You already know the answer to this question, you dumb cunt

>>17779338
>Go back to your masturbatorium, creep.

This sounds like something a teenager would say.

>>17780045
What makes you think she's a cocktease or a flirt? Your rampant misogyny?

>>17780105
The fact that im also a girl and know all thw stupid things roasties do.

Great set up she's got where she gets attention and also no blame for it.

"I'm sorry boyfriend. Chad put his dick in me and i tried to tell him to stop but I'm too shy. Its all his fault!"

>>17780129
>girl
>using the terms "roastie" and "chad"

Suuuure.

>friendly chatting

Here's a tip: don't friendly chat with straight men because some will mistake it for interest as most guys will only chat with girls with the purpose of dating or mating. If you want to chat, do it with other girls. From experience, the only time you should talk to guys is when you're discussing school or work if you're not confident enough to defend your personal boundaries.

I worked in customer service jobs (cashier, bartender, receptionist) between my final year of high school and my last year of uni. Learning how to fend off creeps was one of the important things I've learnt from those jobs.

>>17779601
Sounds logical. I'm already disgusted and pissed off in my head but my shyness prevents me from visibly showing that. I should definitely work on showing that.

>>17780045
>>17780129
Let me make one thing perfectly clear here: I am NOT trying to flirt with them. I actively answer "no thanks" on any romantic offer or try to give short answers. If a guy say something to make me laugh, I'll give a small smile without even saying anything. 'Shy' is the keyword here. I wouldn't even dare to say something like
> "omg anon! You're so funny! Tee hee! I love talking to you X333 "
to anyone other than my boyfriend even if I wanted to say that.

Because I'm shy, my protests aren't strong or aggressive and I blush easily, so either it's assholes getting pushy in hopes they can force me into it or oblivous guys who think I'm simply too shy to say I'm interested.

I'm absolutely creeped out and disgusted by those pushy guys. These situations usually end up with me saying "I have to go to the bathroom", run away to my dorm and crying there because I'm so shaken by it and scared I might bump into that guy when I leave my room and he'll try it again.

I hate the attention and I hate that I don't have the guts to tell people to fuck off if I want to. Because it's not only during these situations that I allow people to push me around.

>>17780211
> most guys will only chat with girls with the purpose of dating or mating
Certainly realised that due to these events. I used to be cluecless enough to think that guys sometimes just want to talk to you without any romantic interest. Probably because I used to have male friends during high school who treated me like a fellow bro, never tried to flirt with me and with whom I just bonded over common interests. Seems that shit won't fly anymore at uni and I have to consider any guy who approaches me as someone who is only interested in putting their dick in me.

>>17780129
>roasties
never, ever, ever have I referred to another girl as a roastie you sick little punk

>>17780368
Hope this helps but it took me awhile. In my mind I know my limit and when the guys crosses it I flip a little switch and don't really care what they think at that point. It is they that went too far. I practiced only one word and a look. In the mirror I would say STOP knowing if I forced myself at least I could get that out. I've gotten better with the delivery, knowing when to say it and how far to retreat without running away. Works and if they don't get the message I have shouted STOP and that will get his attention.

>>17780129
Now that's a bitter virgin /r9k/ post if I've ever seen one.

>>17779225
I was kinda like that to a girl once.

I was stuck half between is she my friend or amd I just hitting on her.

I circuited out. I liked her but I never delt with that feeling before so I asked her to go away.

I asked my brother for advice at the time and he said I should threaten to kill her.

You gotta be more outspoken because men think allowing advances is consent.

>>17780426
>men think allowing advances is consent
No, men think having a vagina is consent

>>17779225
>Female here, any tips on how to learn to reject persistent guys when you're shy?
During my third year internship, I liked a chick working for a company near my lab so much, she is so shy and has that feminine charm. It's genuine infatuation to the point I stopped masturbating and daydream about how a life with her as my wife would be like instead.
She simply rejected me by saying: "You don't need to do this, you know" when I tried to introduce myself :') after stalking her every day after work and exchanging so many glances with her.
Ended up hooking up with her colleague in my rage who isn't quite my taste, honestly I didn't even notice her while I had my eyes set on the shy girl. Funny now looking back the colleague was totally the hotter chick by universal standard. Dunno what kind of optical illusion made me pursuing the other chick, ironically I worked in computational optics back then.

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>>17780368
There are no such thing as guys bring "bros" with women when you grow up. You're either a gf/wife he cares about or a stranger. If you want a boyfriend, say yes to dating respectful guys you like. If you want friends, hang out with girls. If you really want a platonic male friend, you'll have to make friends with a guy who shares your hobbies but finds you unattractive.

>>17779613
>Redpillers? Are you upset because someone called you a roastie over a mongolian finger painting forum?
That usually doesn't happen until AFTER I make the creep comment.

>>17780068
>This sounds like something a teenager would say.
Yeah, but my God the reactions it gets. Every. Fucking. Time. You'd think I'd walked into an arachnophobia convention and upended a bucket of tarantulas or something.

More serioisly, OP, you need yo get better.about using the C-word. It was coined to repel "persistent" men, and it's effective at that. It's not very nice, but neither are the people one uses it on.

>>17780129
>>17780156
>Girl
>On 4chins

Suuuure

For real though, I'm a guy and I don't even know what a 'roastie' is.

Been there, done that. Some tips to change your mindset;

>realize that by being "just friendly" to guys you know have romantic/sexual intentions, you are being disrespectful towards your own feelings and towards your relationship
>realize that you are fucking yourself over by not just thinking of yourself but also of the random guy, while he sure as fuck only cares about himself - does he care that you're uncomfortable? that you said no? I thought so
>realize that your attitude subconsciously invites/encourages predatory guys: they like girls who have difficulty standing up for themselves, the only guys who will give up after a polite rejection are the ones who wouldn't have stalked you anyway

Other than that, there's no cheatcode but to put yourself out there and say no over and over again. It will get easier with time. Don't hide behind your relationship, just give a firm "thanks, but I'm not interested" or "no, I'm not interested" depending on how pleasant and innocent the request is.
Good tactics are to make the guy uncomfortable. If he does the whole "are you suuure", or "but why don't you give it a try", maintain eye contact with a stoic face for an uncomfortable period. If they then press on cut them off with "I just told you how I feel about it" and remove yourself from the situation. Delete their number, ignore their texts, give a polite but distant nod of recognition when you run into them. Rinse and repeat.

>>17780592
It's a nickname for a girl with an outie (inner labia of her pussy showing). Because on 4chan plenty of guys still think that the universe punishes sluts by giving them weird vaginas, it is also a way to call someone a slut.

>>17779225
Its easy
You say yes

>>17780636
well
girls in porn are mostly outie

>>17780667
Because outies are more common... and besides, it makes zero sense that being in a happy, sex filled monogamous relationship does nothing to your bits, but as soon as it's different penises everything falls apart.

This is still disregarding the premise that having sex ruins an organ that was specifically designed to get fucked.

>>17780675
so which do you have?

>>17780679
Outie. And since before I had ever kissed someone, if you care about the anecdotal stuff too.

>>17779338
lel only single women are threaten by "redpillers" because they are awaking men and driving them away. my guess is that you are a single female.

>>17780691
haha Just found this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-ZmJuQqT9Q

>>17780715
That's cool, but I think my pussy's pretty grand so if you want to bully someone into feeling insecure you better try someone else. Or just find something better to do with your time altogether, that's up to you.

>>17779225
Funny, I'm the opposite OP. I love it when I slam the guys that persist. The look on their face is priceless as they run off like a puppy

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>>17780729
>grand
That's a pretty poor choice of words, anon.

>>17780729
>bully someone into feeling insecure
what
That's just a funny song. I don't intend to do whatever you thought, also I can't believe women feel insecure about stuffs like this. Like as long as the meat flaps don't protrude too much outside of the vagina it looks good. Innies are kinda weird.

>>17780745
Heh, I was going to say neat at first but that struck me as more ill-fitted still.

>>17780755
Oh, I can't listen to it here because my family's around so I just looked at the preview and thought it was something insulting. My bad.

To be fair I think all vaginas look kind of odd and it's just a really scary thought that someone thinks a bodypart of you that's that private is gross/wrong. I think virtually all girls go through a phase where they're convinced they're deformed, just like virtually all guys at some point wonder whether they're big enough, above average or not. Everyone just wants to be okay.

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>>17779225

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>>17780711
>my guess is that you are a single female.
Wrong and wrong. Leave the cancer in the containment boards, creep.

>>17779225
Sorry, but you're just going to have to nut up, so to speak. There's no magic solution here, either be firm and tell them to fuck off or continue getting harrassed.

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>>17780636
Maybe it's because it's easier to grab them by the pussy?

I ended up looking it up before I went on break. The term is really rather silly, desu.

Slut

You have to tell them flat out or they won't get it.

Most of us guys are morons when it comes to relationships and love. Some of us think we're Casanova and can sweep a girl from another.

If you're not decisive, they will keep trying. Some will understand, some will think you're a bitch, but big deal. And if they still are trying after you flat out say no, you ignore them until they leave.

>>17781208
This.
Just fuck them, you skank. You know you want to. Being used as a cumdumpster is all whores like you are good for.

>>17779225
have you tried not being such a faggot?

Where do o find a shy at gf?

>>17779225
Innitials?