How the fuck do you hold a conversation with a woman on OKCupid?

>>17778068

It just happens. People on Internet are picky, and treat others poorly esp. considering the online dating environment.

Women on OKC get dozens of messages a day. If you aren't a piece of dirt that is asking for an NSA blowjob, you're doing okay. The other half is they have to find YOU attractive and interesting, otherwise it doesn't matter how engaging your questions are. If all the convo is involves you acting like you did a close reading of their profile and they don't ask questions back, then they aren't putting in any effort or don't have real interest.

Also, big piece of advice, if you actually want to take a girl out, maybe ask one question, get a reply, and they ask her out. Cut to the chase and get a real life date on the books, my dude.

OKC is a rough place esp. for nice dudes, because women are really at the meat market. They have so many options and there are 100s of dudes ready to take them out and get it in as fast as possible. Sure, women can be into that, no judgement, but it can make it hard for you as a man to feel like you are distinguishing yourself from the fuckbois. I've never been into hookups, and when I was using OKC it made me feel bad because I would be flat out ignored by women with 99% match.

That said, I have a GF of one year who I met on OKC. Persistence pays off. Just deactivate your account if it causes too much stress and then focus on you in the meantime. You can always go back.

>>17778699
Cheers for the pointers.

Care to share how your initial convo panned out on OKC with your GF?

>>17779412

That was an out of the ordinary one for me.

Her profile said something along the lines of "don't be offended if we just end up friends" and at that point I had been on the site on and off for about 9 months and was feeling like going out on a limb because I had dated 3 girls already who cut it off after a couple weeks. I sent her a message saying I thought we would get along just fine, no matter the context. At the time I had zero idea what the hell I meant by that. But it reflected the mindset she wanted her dates to have going into it. And it worked out. We had a great first date.

Our relationship has been by no means idyllic, but I love her I still find it odd that one little decision could have kept my GF out of my life forever.

So I guess another piece of advice I have is that when you feel like you have nothing to lose, go out on a limb and see where it takes you.

>>17779549
Not OP but thats a great story. Isn't it weird how just one little decision, one little phrasing of a sentence can drastically alter our lives? This universe is pure chaos.

By being attractive.

File: Inconceiveable.jpg (15KB, 260x300px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 260x300px

>>17778068
Women actually respond to your messages on OKC?

Inconceivable!

>>17779737
>>17778699
OKC is a rough place esp. for nice dudes, because women are really at the meat market. They have so many options and there are 100s of dudes ready to take them out and get it in as fast as possible. Sure, women can be into that, no judgement, but it can make it hard for you as a man to feel like you are distinguishing yourself from the fuckbois. I've never been into hookups, and when I was using OKC it made me feel bad because I would be flat out ignored by women with 99% match.
Tell me about it. I have been on OKC since it launched. I've never had a date from it, can probably count on both hands how many responses I've gotten to messages, and haven't gotten a response from an attractive woman in years.

OKC also doesn't work for minorities...unless you're a woman.

>>17778699
well, fuck.

Is there a better app to use? Something we'd have a chance in? Or is the best app to just talk to them IRL.

I don't dislike OKC, it seems less ruthless than Tinder, I just think I might be going about it wrong.

I'm not an ugly guy, I've got a couple of decent pictures on there and a bio that isn't just a list of my favourite media. I genuinely feel like I'm just handling the conversations wrong, it feels like I'm missing beats.