>be into bdsm >find out that a longtime acquaintance is

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>be into bdsm
>find out that a longtime acquaintance is as well
>play together on non-sexual stuff once a month or so for a few months, both enjoy it
>get interested in going further, he's interested but wants to make sure that he has the time to devote to it and needs to discuss it with his current partner (they're polyamorous)
>he's got a busy life, so that's totally understandable. tell him there's absolutely no rush and slow is good and that it won't upset me if the answer is no for whatever reason
>realize later that I've already got feelings for this guy despite trying not to get attached
>getting sort of mixed signals about whether he feels the same way and not sure if he's just trying not to make things weird if he has to say no

I'm not sure if I should just talk to him about this or wait. On the one hand I don't want to seem clingy and I want to give him space to work it out on his end. On the other, not knowing is giving me a real case of the feels and I'm not sure what to do about it. What do, /adv/isors?