Why do girls who have expressed that they don't want to

>>17773922

No it doesn't.

>>17773927
Yes it does. If you're being friendly with someone, they're going to think you want some kind of relationship with them. Whether romantically or just friends, that's what it communicates. If you tried that with me, I'm going to assume you want something more.

>>17773927
If someone interprets your actions as X, then that's what it communicates to them as.

>>17773953
If only it were that simple. Sounds like you need to find some different girls OP.

>>17774047
Not OP (check the post count), but you have to account for how your audience will respond to you. Even if it's the opposite of what you're intending.

>>17774088
Only the first sentence was for you, jeez

>>17773946
Jesus fucking christ so are we supposed to be just absolute dicks to every stranger? What do you want, for us to spit on you and scream "LOSER" every time we see you?

It's common fucking politeness and courtesy to smile and say hello to someone. It doesn't mean you wanna fuck em, and it doesn't even mean you wanna be friends with them. It's just the social norm.

>>17774132
Thank you! Listen to this person! It wouldn't hurt to learn to read body language and pick up on social cues!

>>17774132
I think, or at least I hope, he means girls that are really overly friendly, that touch you and noticeably make an effort to be near you but then dont actually want anything concrete to do with you.

That or he has autism and can't read social cues

>>17774132
>Jesus fucking christ so are we supposed to be just absolute dicks to every stranger?
Neutral.

>It's common fucking politeness and courtesy to smile and say hello to someone. It doesn't mean you wanna fuck em, and it doesn't even mean you wanna be friends with them.
Then it's weird to show any kind of friendliness if you don't actually want to be friends. Otherwise you're faking that act of kindness, which in turn would be lying to that person.

>>17774143
>It wouldn't hurt to learn to read body language and pick up on social cues!
Smiling and niceness are social cues and language that you like this person.

>>17773922
Some people don't have to "go out of their way" to be nice to people. You're projecting your personality onto others

It's also pretty likely that they pity you, if you're as austistic as you sound.

>>17773922

They're being polite, you autistic retard.

>>17774185
Why be polite to someone you don't want anything to do with? That's dishonest.

>>17774188
pity
courtesy
civility

pick one

>>17774188
how do you know they want nothing to do with you?

>>17774195
It's certainly not courteous, since it's not honest. If it's pity, then you're being hugely disrespectful to this person and see them with utter contempt. And if it's civility, then it's not sincere, and are only doing something because you're expected to (which is also dishonest).

>>17774205
If they don't, then they wouldn't (or shouldn't) be so friendly and polite with you. If they are, then it makes seem like they want to be friends or more. So why bother, when it just results in miscommunications?

>>17774212
What you said makes zero sense.

What leads you to believe that these people want nothing to do with you?

>>17774132
>>17774143
>>17774153
That's the thing I don't understand about white people, Americans especially. If you don't want anything to do with a person, why even acknowledge them, or talk to them? For all the prattle about social cues, you guys sure like to use the cues that tells a person you want to date them, or have some kind of alliance with. You're also faking your nicety this way, which is not trustworthy and makes you seem like a liar. And signals to them others that the two of you are friends or partners. So why do this? Just out of etiquette? That's not a good excuse. And creates problems that are obvious and easily avoidable.

>>17774214
That's the thing. It communicates that they want something to do with you. Otherwise, why being bother being polite or courteous? That's very suspicious.

>>17774219
>you guys sure like to use the cues that tells a person you want to date them,
you sound like a social cue expert

>>17774205
>>17774214
You don't know. That's why these misleads in communication are such a problem. You're telling them one thing but mean the other. That isn't fair to the person.

>>17774212
>So why bother, when it just results in miscommunications?
You're the one interpreting incorrectly. They're communication doesn't mean what you think it means.

Same thing this guy said
>>17774179
You're projecting your personality onto others by believing everyone thinks the same thing you do, and does things (in this case, being kind and friendly) for the same reasons.

>>17774224
Here's what I'm getting from you
>people are nice to me
>I assume these people want nothing to do with me
>Therefore, I conclude that they are being dishonest
What is your basis for the assumption in the second part? You're pulling it out of your ass.

Maybe all these people want from you is basic civility. They treat you with civility because that's how they would like for you to treat them. Does that make sense to you?

>>17774206
>If it's pity, then you're being hugely disrespectful to this person and see them with utter contempt.
Its a harsh world anon. If you don't want people to treat you with contempt, try not to be such a contemptible person.

>>17774224
Being nice doesn't mean you want something out of someone. It's doesn't have to be a give/exchange process, like it's a good.

There are people who do act nice for this purpose, who wouldn't act nice otherwise. There are also people who act nice because that's who they are; they are genuinely kind, and they act out of kindness, not to receive something.

People are different.

>>17774236
>>17774245
Yes, and that civility and niceness makes it seem like they want me as a friend or boyfriend. If not, why even pay attention to my existence? That's just telling the person otherwise.

>>17774232
>You're the one interpreting incorrectly. They're communication doesn't mean what you think it means.
If someone is interpreting your actions differently, then that's on you. Your intent is not enough to define the meaning behind your words and actions, and it's your responsibility to accommodate that.

>>17774259
You didn't answer the question. Are you trolling? because you're giving me that impression.

>people are nice to me
>I assume these people want nothing to do with me
>Therefore, I conclude that they are being dishonest
What is your basis for the assumption in the second line?

>>17774259
>and that civility and niceness makes it seem like they want me as a friend or boyfriend
If I told you that everytime you breathed, it made me want to punch you in the face would you stop breathing?

>>17774264
Because everyone else in this thread said that being nice still means they want nothing to do with you. Even though that doesn't make sense, since why you act like that if you don't want this person.

>if someones respectful to you in public they must want a relationsihp!

wrong. if someone is respectful to you in public its because they dont see you as some detestable person to be mean to. it doesnt mean they want to fuck, date, or do anything.

they're just nice

>>17774277
>Because everyone else in this thread said that being nice still means they want nothing to do with you.
Nobody said that in this thread.

People treat you with civility because they want something from you In most cases, that thing is for you to treat them with civility. It's really not any more complicated than that.

Are you on the autism spectrum? Be honest now.

>>17773922
well that's what happens when you become a fucking shut in, now doesn't it?

autism doesn't understand the politeness and civility exist

>>17774206
autism can't seem to accept a minor disconnect between honesty and courtesy, courtesy has nothing to do with honesty since all it means IS POLITENESS and good manners, as a kid maybe you'd honestly want to eat your dinner with your hands but your parents insist on you using a fork and knife BECAUSE IT'S COURTESY

you don't even know what courtesy is, you autistic shut in loser of a "man". put down the fucking anime, you idiot.

>>17774160

you heard it here first people! you're only allowed to say hi or smile at someone if you want to spend time with them one on one.

otherwise you're FAKING being nice.

>>17774290
it is faking but that's life
social decorum is a set of rules that more or less everyone with a properly functioning brain follows
the japs have it down to a t, they might be smiling but they're cringing on the inside, get it?
girls are more apt to follow these rules because they don't want to appear bitchy or undesirable. even if they don't desire you, they may know they have an image that you've built up that they don't want to later tarnish by being mean.
social interactions are complex and you can do some serious damage to your ability to dance this crazy dance if you sit in your house all day and play video games

>>17774303

i was being sarcastic to illustrate how stupid OPs being.

ur taking a bit far too desu.

you act like the only two emotions people can feel are 'cringe' or 'friendship'.

most people like others enough that seeing them is nice, but they dont want to hang out.

the amount of ablism and bigotry itt is astounding.

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1010KB, 500x280px

>>17774303
They can dance until they die

>>17774290
Well, yeah. If you're so nice and kind to a person, it means that they, well, mean something to you. Like a friend or ally, perhaps even more. Otherwise, why be nice and polite to someone you don't know or want to know. That just signals the cue that they're special to you somehow, and plan to remain as such.

>>17774308
>most people like others enough that seeing them is nice, but they dont want to hang out.
That's weird and dishonest. You're communicating to them the complete opposite that way.

>>17774311
Some people like to be treated with civility.

They treat others with civility with the expectation that they will treated in kind.

What part of this do you not understand?

Average human beings are friendly to people they are acquaintances with. It's not strange that they are nice to you, they're just being decent people. Friendliness is just that - friendliness. Nothing more, nothing less.

Or be seen out with other girls who are better looking than said girls who rejected you. Jealousy will peak in them and will start trying to contact you.

>>17774316
Why would you do that with someone you don't know or want to know? That's just going to tell that person differently. "Friend" is in the word "friendly" for a reason.

>>17774318
See above.

>>17774329
>Why would you do that with someone you don't know or want to know?
Because they want to be treated with civility, regardless of whether they know the person.

What part of this do you not understand? If you're actually on the autism scale it would probably make things easier if you came out and said it.

>>17774329
I think what people are trying to get you to see in this thread is that the way you see this interaction is not the way most of the world sees it. For most of the world, humans are taught to be nice to people they know. You didn't do anything wrong to them, so they will be cordial to you in return. Only when you do something wrong to them will they treat you in an unfriendly manner. This "friendliness" that you're taking issue with is like the average human's neutral state. To you, it seems, the neutral state is ignoring acquaintances, which to other people is seen as being slightly rude.

>>17774334
But you don't know this person, you don't want to know them, so you have no reason to do so. Otherwise you're faking being nice and civil, since you're not being sincere with it. If you don't want that person, don't even acknowledge them.

>>17774219
Fuck off, nigger, maybe white women behave that way only.

Also OP, if you disagree with what the other people ITT are saying, then it's best you hang around people that share the same views as you. If you're not okay with people being nice to you, then you need to tell them that unless they want a relationship or to be your friend, you don't want anything to do with them. The world's not going to change to suit you, you're the one that's going to have to adapt.

If you change your mind, that's great, but I get the impression that you don't.

>>17774318
I don't think OP is talking about general politeness. He's talking about when girls flirt but don't want a relationship. It leads guys on. It's particularly annoying when the girl has already rejected you.

>>17774337
>you don't want to know them, so you have no reason to do so.
but you do want them to treat you with civility
so you treat them with civility in kind

What part of this do you not understand?

>>17774335
And that's weird and miscommunicative. If you don't want that person, then there isn't a reason to be courteous, nice, or civil to them. Just neutral and like they're background details. Kindness and civility is something you reserve for those close to you. Like friends, family, lovers, &c. Because they mean something to you, and have earned those shows of affections and alliance from you. You don't just waste that on random people. Otherwise it devalues those dear to you.

>>17774343
OP isn't even talking about flirting. He said when girls are "friendly and chipper in public". That's not flirting at all.

>>17774346
Then that's lying, and is just treating kind gestures as a type of trade.

>>17774352
friendliness between the opposite sex *is* flirting. maybe not in america. but everywhere else we live, you don't show that type of affection unless you're interested in someone. :/

>>17774351
That may be how you think and feel, but I'm just explaining why this girl is acting the way she does. It's just an explanation. Just because you think and feel differently won't change society and how people act towards you.

>>17774358
>That may be how you think and feel, but I'm just explaining why this girl is acting the way she does.
Then she's being dishonest, and anything she says and does will be treated with suspicion.

>>17774353
>>17774353
Where is the lie?

>I am treating you with civility
>I am doing this because I expect you to treat me with civility

> is just treating kind gestures as a type of trade.
Isn't you entire premise that people shouldn't treat you with civility unless they want something from you? You're starting to sound like a hypocrite.

>>17774352
Going out of their way to make you notice them in public IS flirting. When I see an acquaintance, I don't run over and poke them in the back, but when a girl does that to me, it seems like they're interested in me because they're trying to get my attention when I otherwise wouldn't have seen them.

>>17774363
Alright OP I think I'm done now. You're free to your opinions. It's not fair to treat her as dishonest just for being nice, but okay. If it bothers you so much, tell her to stop. That's all I have.

>>17774366
>poke
Sorry, but when did this interaction turn into poking people in the back, and not just a simple friendly, chipper demeanor?

>>17774351
There's different levels of kindness that's appropriate for those close, acquaintances, and strangers. You're way of kindness is very binary: if you know them, be nice; if you don't, then no.

There's people that don't treat kindness as a commodity like you're saying. It's not something that's distributed, "wasted", or "spent" on you could say, but rather a way of being.

Yes, there's people like you that view it this way, and that in itself isn't a bad thing, but what you're doing here is bigotry.

>>17774366
They pity you.

They don't see you as a threat. Likely because you're ugly or a sperg.