Long story short I drove my girl in to the arms of another, says

Bump ask for details, anything, looking for some kind soul to give me advice or comfort.

The important ones you should be thinking about are your twins. They need stability. They need to see what a healthy relationship between adults is like. You need to start by setting the example. She is already with someone else that means she doesn't truly love you. This choice she has given you is a false one. She made it when she started seeing someone else. You have to accept it and move on. Begging makes you desperate and is a turn off. Show her what a responsible mature man is like. You have to cut off the relationship as a girlfriend/wife/ partner and work on the relationship as co-parents. It will be hard work! But go to your family members or friends and stay with them for a bit so you are not in the same house and figure out a custody schedule-preferably something legally binding so she doesn't run off with them. You are man enough to have kids, you are man enough to be a fucking awesome dad. Once you've got your shit together, work on yourself. You need to find confidence and improve your self-esteem. Go to the gym, or just plain walk for a half hour. Start small and find the one workout or sport you like and go for it. Wanted to learn how to fly a plane, take a class. Wanted to learn how to cook, take a class. Wanted to get a degree in something check your local colleges and their financial aid. If need be, talk to a therapist and build yourself up. You will make your kids proud when you are able to see in the mirror the great man you have become. When she sees how much you are focused, driven, confident, and successful, she will want to come back. Don't take her back. She will have to prove she is trust worthy as trust is hard to gain and easy to lose. You may find that if she ever even tries to get back you may have found love with someone else. There are many women in the world that will see you as a hardworking father and will want to date you. Good luck my friend. It will be a tough road but worth it!

>>17771124
Thanks so much, I did not expect such a well thought out message, I Had That SMALL THOUGHT of my kids and how I'm forgetting about them, so they should be my number one priority, and thanks for resuming that idea, guess I just needed to hear it. You think it's a false promise, my instinct tells me otherwise but maybe I can't think straight. Also the kids have been taken care of when it comes to a custody agreement, I get them the weekends.

She's not mad at me she's just done, her words.

>>17771086
dont be a cuck. leave her and get custody of the kids. Then make her pay child support and say the reason is she refused to make it work.

>>17771167
It's fucked up , I was just thinking how big of cuckold I am

She is done, good for her for putting an end to the back and forth. Now it's your turn to be done and work on you and focus on your kids. It is really raw and painful because of how recent it is, but it will get better. A year later you may turn into a completely different man and you will look back at this and be grateful that this emotional roller coaster was finally put to an end. She wants out, respect that if you ever loved her and respect yourself by not hurting yourself by begging and instead by improving yourself and being the best dad you can be.

>>17771177
Youre both being cucks hoping the other is less of a cuck. Is that really how you want to win her. Leave and have some self respect. She's literally cucking you. But get custody of the kids and fight to make her pay child support.

>>17771213
>>17771228
the hardest thing is moving on, i think shes letting me go slowly and trying to not make it painful at least thats what she thinks shes doing, b/c today when i left i asked her if there was a chance still and says yes or i wouldnt be there, she also tells me she really likes him and has no more love for me, she kissed me like a peck and then acted like idk why i did that just played it off. i might see her tomorrow and shes going out with him on friday then with me on saturday.

>>17771241
Women are whores who love attention. I cant believe you are letting her play you this hard.

>>17771276
I know, I ask myself the same question but bit by bit I'm getting closeer in throwing the towle, not going to lie the pussy has me craving her more, I have to get ahold of myself and stop being weak. I thank you guys for the honesty, there are some more details if anyone is interested. Doesn't help I have the video of me ducking her on my pc, was made a few weeks ago.

>>17771292
End the relationship as brutally as possible. With no feelings. Otherwise you will be supporting her behavior. Do not let her think she made the right decision to end it gently. Tell her you have been holding in that she is a whore all this time and was confused because you couldnt understand how someone who loved you could do this. But now you understand what type of horrible being she is and that she isnt worthy of your time.
Shes going to run to her cuck new bf either way. But dont let her get away with thinking everything went smoothly from playing you like a fiddle.

>>17771313
this is a really good idea, only problem is do i stop hanging out with her like tomorrow for instance, the idea poped in my head, if i do see her tomorrow i dont want it to be for her but for my boys. is it possible to still do this or should i just wait for the weekend when its my time with them.

honestly tho if i were to tell you guys how this shit went down, it really is my own fault i am here now b/c of how bad i treated her. i just keep thinking that i should be ranks above this guy for having kids and been together for 3 years, even tho there was bad there was also good.

Go to a friends house, preferably the one that lives the furthest away from town, and don't let him let you see her unless it is to visit your kids. You need to practice self control or have someone encourage you to let go. Yes, it is hard, now, but time heals and you need to cut everything cold turkey now and keep whatever self respect you have left and shut that door. Don't give in to her kisses or "chances". Erase that video or put it on a usb and lock it away from you, bury it if you have to. You need to clean house and take out everything that reminds you as a couple away and jeep it at a friends place so you are not tempted to look at it. Keep your kids stuff and your own family and friends' stuff on display. Out of sight, out of mind. Keep the visits as civil as possible and focus on the kids. Don't ask about her and the other guy. If she lets you know she wants to be with you tell her sorry, but she was right, that you want it to be done too. There are women out there that would never pull this stuff on you, be the guy they want to be with. Don't let her control you.

>>17771336
Doesnt matter what you did. Nothing excuses this behavior. You might both be pieces of shit, but that doesnt change the fact that shes definitely a piece of shit.
Do it as soon as possible. She might be plotting something herself.

>>17771339
>>17771339
YES YES AND YES. Thank you so much I really needed to hear these things bc i kept thinking it was okay for her to do this to me. That I deserved it and should ride it out. I can go to her house and see my kids tmrw with being aware that I'm only there for them. I trust myself enough. It's refreshing seeing things from another prospective.

If she wants me back I'd be weak and cave, haven't even gave I thought that it could happen. I'll have to find rational reason on why and why not letting her come back to me.

Sry guys I'm getting tired, my posts are starting to lose some cohesiveness. But I'm saving this thread to relook at it if needed. I will make more threads and keep you guys updated, hope you check back from time to time, I cut out all my friends bc i focused on our relationship, so it felt like you guys talking to me as if it were bros from long years of friendship. Thanks again, love to your souls from a boy named jairo.

i just woke up, had some nice dreams nothing to do with her, i messaged her yesterday when i got home before i made this thread, she saw it at 1am and said nothing. this hurts and it really hurts. its hard to take my mind of it. especially with nothing to do, im unemployed but will be searching for work today. how do i cope? anyone? anything?

After some time I'm remembered that I should be thinking on my boys not her, I have to keep focused on what's important and that's them. Makes it so much easier to deal with all this.

Focus on your kids and looking for work all day. You got to start contacting all those friends you stopped talking to. They will offer support if you ask and perhaps know of a job. They may give you shit or tease you for not talking to them in a while, but if you sincerely ask for a talk or a bit of their time they should let you back in. Everytime you think of her, look up a new job listing or look at your kids pics instead. Set up goals you want to accomplish for the next year and the rest of your life. It's a new day, take advantage of it.

>You wanted me to be a man and show you it, not some Lil boy that can't deal with things. I'll show you what a real man does, not what he's doing bc he's being childish and selfish. Knowing full well he is getting involved and not having any consideration for me or you and our boys, he's coming between it. He's being selfish when it comes to my boys not thinking about the consequences or outcome and how it affects them or us. Yeah I've messed up a lot and there comes a time there is no more chances but look at our situation, I don't have much time left. If you say there is nothing more for you to give, find it, and let me have my last memories be with you and my boys. I know I hurt you and made you feel pain but now I feel the same things I put you through, I know you're angry and so am I at myself. Knowing how much I made you hurt I would never make you feel like this again, ever. He makes you happy bc he's a new thing, me and you have so much more, I would never trade for a new thing. He's the opposite of me and that's why you like him but Im going to be the opposite of myself too. I'm not doing this for my happiness I'm doing it bc it's the right thing to do, right for my boys and our family. it wouldn't be fair to him but it would be more unfair to me bc what he have means something, all that struggle and triumph, we did it together.

I sent her this and I got a thumbs up on msnger

>>17772845
guess it was an accident she msged afterwards.

ive had time to think about things today, ran and did some errands so i collected my thoughts and tried to send her my point of view in a well thought out manner. there is another post i accidentally deleted but am re finishing it now that ill upload later. I feel the need to fight for my family, we werent married so its not that complicated but my instinct tells me shes doing this to see if will fight for her/learn a lesson on how to treat her. she told me that she has to do some thinking on what i sent her and about a letter i recived yesterday, its from immigration, i have a court date to see if im getting my visa or not. funny how Emperor Trump won and i get the letter ive been waiting on for three years. She entered the relationship fully aware of my legal status, but if she were to cash her chips in it would be now. stay and help me and give me support through this just like in the past or leave and move on with no hassle of emotions later. its a tough one but i hope true love prevails.

>>17772999
also i have work tomorrow and the rest of the week. :)

>>17771086

How did you drive her away? Committing a bit of domestic violence mate?

I was there when no one else was, I helped when no one else would, remember driving that car around and when you needed a new one I gave what Lil money I had, just like now with bills and day care. I'm determined to help you no matter what. I know it's not about the money, it's the struggle that we overcome together that makes it all worth it. I was the one to kiss you and hold you when you cried, I was the one to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay, now he's doing it bc of how I mistreated you, I lost track of time and mistreated you for to long but I'm human and make mistakes. I can see you want to leave but let me give you one more reason for you to go, now is not the time. I need you the most he doesn't, he has his daughter and stability, I dont, I lost the only stability in my life and that's you, lily and my boys. I feel imprisoned in this house just like I was in jail, do you see what you are doing to me. I have my mom and dad but they can't give me what you give me. I need you the most right now and our family, it would keep my mind off things. I spend most of my time alone bc of how much my mom works, while you are running off with the new guy, I deserve punishment yes, but I don't deserve to be kicked out in the cold. We can move slow so you don't feel overwhelmed or have the thoughts that I'm wronging you in any way. I know you love me, you said it yourself the night we got bbq, when you cried, i said why are you doing that then you replied, you were meant to be with me, I asked how do you know this and you said bc no one else does this with me, takes me to try new things and see new things, I wish you would remember. I was so proud of myself in that moment.

I typed this all out today as I rode the bus to three different places. End to the letter.

>>17773056
we had been on really rough terms for a while and would break up and get back together, we were living together and she would kick me out (she says it was her way of telling me she needed me) and i would walk to my moms house, i got so fucking fed up of doing that back and fourth that i finally stayed at my mothers, so we got back together but i still lived here and her there, id come over and help but soon it started to be less and less and in a month i would come over maybe 4 - 5 times, we would surely see each other on the weekends while our parents watched the kids and we had some relax time to go do something fun, then she started telling me i only wanted to see her for the fun time and holloween came around and i wasnt there, before she hung up she said if you dont come we are done, i spent two weeks pissed at her and didnt contact her, i had just gotten home from work and was tired as shit so i didnt think it was a big deal but compound that with what had been happening for some time, i see why shes upset. i can see it all and its why i can give my honesty that im to blame and if i try hard enough it can mend, i feel what i did is very wrong but the crime dont fit the punishment.

its over yall, towel gets thrown in today, ill be more wise to listen to you guys the first time around. i wont get into detail about how today was but maybe tomorrow when i have more energy.