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My girlfriend is my bestfriend in the world. I have no one else to talk about my problems with and I don't think many other people I know would be comfortable enough to listen to them.
The problem is periodically by girlfriend gives into the stress of life, school, our relationship, money issues, etc. What this means is she curls up into a ball and cries and cries until she has an asthma attack or runs out of tears.
I am not exactly the most emotional person but I have, on the advice of other girls, cuddled up to her and not said a thing during some of these crises she finds herself in. However, I don't find this to be productive because they keep on getting more frequent and she won't let me help with anything.
A great example is how she gets bogged down with assignments, assignments that I am fully capable of helping her solve (and by help, I mean actually help, not just give her the answers). She refuses to let me help her when she gives up on her assignments and then she fails them and finds herself in an even worse state. Basically how it seems to me is she goes into self-destruct.
What do I do?
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I would also like to mention that I have recently tried just telling her---while she was upset, granted not the best time, but it was the moment I had words to say things to her---all these things and more. I tried telling her she was the only one I can talk to about it and so she has to help me help her. But at the end of it, I came out of it with the feeling I just emotionally abused her and now I feel incredibly guilty.
Adding to that, it did absolutely nothing but make her cry more.
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>>17770363
Has she ever gone to a therapist?
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>>17770375
No. And I wouldn't say she acts depressed or mentally ill in the slightest normally. It's just like once every 2-3 weeks at most.
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>>17770395
Ah okay, when you talked about her failing assignments I thought this was some kind of downward-spiral situation.
In my experience, girls can get emotional, they get overwhelmed like that occasionally. Best thing you can do in that situation is provide a distraction. Don't try to talk through her problems right in that moment, that just adds more stress. Just take her out to see a movie or get ice cream or something nice. Bring her back home and fuck her properly. Just remove her from the stress for a few hours, and she'll feel better and be able to approach those problems again with a clearer head. THEN you can offer some help or guidance if she wants you to, when she's calmer, not when she's in shut-down-and-freak-out mode
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There is some truth to a man beng "the rock" for a woman's emotions, but maybe you could be more industrious with how you approach the problem of her being like this?
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>>17770419
What do you mean by 'industrious' in this situation?
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