I'm in a relationship with an extreme codependent. Actually,

>>17769856
Honesty?

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>>17769856
>I just need some space

>>17769856
>this isn't a dealbreaker, but I'm a private person who needs a lot of personal space to be happy (reading, pursuing my degree, my work from home job, hobbies in general).

It's like wanting to be alone, but needing someone because you fear loneliness.
Sounds like a deal breaker to me.

>>17769863
Yeah, that's the plan, but how? He's extremely sensitive when it comes to me. If he thinks he wronged me at all, even if I don't think he did, he cries. He's not like this in the rest of his life. He has some special emotional caveat for relationships.

I'll be the first to admit that diplomacy is not my strong suit. I don't chimp out, but I'm kind of a blunt, calmly lay out the facts in a direct way, kind of person. That's not how to handle him on something like this, and I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and how they worded it.

Basically, I'm wanting a strategy for bringing it up.

>>17769879
No thanks. I just hate social interaction and legitimately just wanna listen to music on headphones, read, and be on the internet in a larger chunk of my spare time.

>>17769880
I don't fear loneliness. I was 100% devoted to school and nothing else before him. I love everything about him, but this is a bump. I don't even mind it sometimes, but I just want a break now and then. That's reasonable, right?

Also, to elaborate, he's a truck driver. He's not home a lot, and when he isn't, he expects me to be on the phone every spare second I have. He isn't aggressive about it. He guilt trips. He mopes and whines and asks what he did wrong. I don't want *every second* of my time to go to someone else, and no amount of love in the world would change that.

>>17769900
I was in a relationship similar to this, my GF was constantly needy, and it really dragged me down. I couldn't get any time to myself. We'd talked about it multiple times, and each time she said she understood.. But, then when I want that alone time, it's another guilt trip, another reason, another yadda yadda, and basically if I did end up with alone time, I felt so fucking guilty during it, I'd have to give her a call to make sure she was okay, or something along those lines, I wouldn't call everytime, but I would feel bad everytime.

I don't know if she knew just has in jeopardy our relationship was, but I was growing depressed, tired, and couldn't deal with it anymore. I wasn't going to give her an ultimatum, I just broke up with her. It wasn't working, I wasn't happy. I'm selfish, and I admit it. But, it's what I needed to do to be happy in life, which has always been my ultimate goal whether she's there for it, or not..


It was a three year long relationship, I don't know why I grew tired of her other than just being overburdened by her. But, alone time shouldn't be taken lightly, and i can only imagine our relationship would still be going on today if she was able to allow me my personal time when I requested it.

>>17769856
>I thought things would change after we got married
Holy shit, typical dumb woman shit.
Stuff doesn't change for the better on its own EVER it gets worse or it stays the same, that's just how people are.

>>17769931
I'm not letting it end. I'll hold it together however I have to. I deeply, genuinely love this dude, and I want to give him anything I can. I just wanna get to enjoy other aspects of my life too, like in any healthy relationship. I also feel that growing a little more independent would help me, but then, that isn't my decision, I know.

I dated a few guys over the years before I got with him, and they all got less needy over time, as the honeymoon phase ended. He seems to only intensify. I have to talk to him about it. I simply want to know what to say.

>>17769937
Hm, you might be right. I'm just used to the cling factor winding down post-honeymoon phase. But with other things, I have noticed that to be true. With something this extreme, though, I should have taken this into consideration.

But hindsight won't help now. What I need is a strategy. I'm not just going to give up. Another stupid woman thing is leaving too easily when the problem isn't bad enough to warrant it.

>>17770007
>i got a man that makes almost 100k a year and is never home, I'm not about to fuck up that goldmine over a few OTR phone calls

>>17770019
I'm going for my MD and couldn't give two shits about money, and I'm also specifically asking how to make it work, refusing to leave.
>how does i do a reading