As a 19 yr old raised by a single mother how do I unfuck myself

Find anew older dude who you respect and befriend and learn to emulate him. Find out how he came to overcome different obstacles and what motivates his behavior. Then follow suit.
Kind of like WWJD, but with a real person.

>>17769369
I've already sort of done this. I played a lot of sports in highschool and I guess some of my coaches sort of filled the father figure role. Jesus Christ.

Not raised by a single mother, but my dad died when I was young.

Don't fall for the surrogate father meme, you can be your own man. We live in the information age and any "manly" tasks like changing a tire, fishing, using power tools, etc. can be learned. I've met a few pussies raised by single mothers and the fatal mistake they always make is just not trying to learn. You need to be proactive and take weekends to just learn how to do shit.

>>17769422
I consider myself pretty "manly" when it comes to the associated skills. I can do all the change a tire, go fishing, power tools shit. But it just doesn't feel natural if you understand what I'm saying.

>>17769429
If you mean feeling doubtful of your skills, then that will come with time. Try to let others know they can count on you to do "manly" things so you can get experience; for example after learning how to change my brakes, I started changing my brakes for my sister too. After about the 5th time of doing it went from something that took me a whole day with me stressed about fucking up, to an almost instinctive task.

Being perceived as a well adjusted man is as simple as having those skills, and being confident at it.

If you're taking about the general unease of no father figure despite having the "manly" skills, that's a much more complex issue.

There's been many times I've felt empty inside because I didn't have my dad around at difficult times or from seeing other guys with their fathers. That's a feeling you'll never really get over, even with a "surrogate". It's a unique bond forged over lifetime, and there's no substitute. The closest you'll get, if you choose, is becoming a father yourself and ensuring your child has the upbringing you always wanted.

>>17769356
Being in a male dominated environment can be very helpful.
Joining the military, or becoming a firefighter will put you around strong manly father figure types.

You will probably never be truly unfucked, ever. But that's ok. Nobody ever i was, is or will be completely sane and functional.
Your best bet might be to tackle obstacles when you encounter them.
Hone your selfreflection skills so you don't overlook them.
For example, consider that you might never had the chance to learn propper communication between a couple or how to be sanely attached in a relationship.
Depending on the circumstances, you might either be afraid of abandonement or have taken up an air of independence which can be suffocating too.

>>17769356
I was raised my entire life by a single mom and I don't have this issue at all. Just don't be a huge self-doubting pussy and you'll be fine

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>>17769730
I'm trying m8.

>>17769683
I need to get better at dealing with emotions. I think I kind of fucked myself up when I walked in on my Dad who had been remarried for some 7 years with another kid, getting intimate with my Mom when I was like 11-12. I remember losing my shit, I couldn't understand why the fuck they decided to do that and I still don't really understand, whenever I try to bring it up with Mom she just does the typical "everyone makes mistakes" bullshit.

I think good times will be coming soon though, lost a lot of weight over the summer and am finally under 200 Ibs for like the first time in almost 3 years. It wasn't really until I started getting more attention from girls recently that I realized that I'm pretty fucking bad at this. I can hold casual conversations and shit and have no problem acting like a "normal" friend. But when it comes to emotional/sexual intimacy? I just start going turbo nervous autist mode.

>>17770446
>But when it comes to emotional/sexual intimacy? I just start going turbo nervous autist mode.

I'm in your shoes partially because I'm the son of a single mom too. Ths stuff is wierd for everyone when you're just starting out, but for us it means really pushing into the unknown.
I've never seen my mom with any man, not even my father ,so I have no Idea how that kind of stuff works. Just seems utterly alien to me, from how you meet to actually being with someone. And by that I mean simply fucking and hanging out, not even a relationship.

>>17769422
This.

Hey OP. I don't know about your situation, but my father died when I was around 8.

Anyway, it's something you have to get over; ultimately learning how to swim, or sink trying.

Keep on trekking.

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>>17770523
Thanks for the advice. I'm just going to continue working on myself.

>>17770483
It was pretty fucking gross. I don't really think about much. It's just one of the few what the fuck moments I've had that could potentially explain some things I might not fully understand yet.